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Sunday, March 19, 2017

From Silent to a Voice

Some things you may not know about me:

I grew up feeling shy, insecure, and ashamed.

My family did not have a lot and there was a constant emphasis on what we did not have.

I felt a tremendous amount of guilt - felt responsible for my parents financial situation.

At around eight years old I wanted to kill myself - tried to push a knife through my heart.  

I thought if I was gone then my parent's would not struggle financially (they would not have to spend money on me anymore) and if they didn't have to struggle financially then they could be happy.

I felt ashamed I could not follow thorough with it and carried that burden and responsibility for a long time.

Throughout most of my teenage years my morning routine consisted of:

Spending time in front of the mirror telling myself how worthless I was, how ugly I was, how I was a mistake, how no girl would ever want to date me, how I must be God's punishment to my parents.

The irony of this is in my quiet moments of listening there was a faint voice that said I was meant for more.

I have always wanted to help people - ever since I was around 9 to 10 years old I knew that was what I was put on the earth to do.

Problem: I was not going to help anyone the way I felt about myself.  

I said I was shy and insecure. 

Insecure because I was so uncomfortable in my own skin.  When I started high school I broke out in hives the first week - was so afraid that people would find out what a horrible person I was and I would end up in the trash can.

Insecure because I thought so lowly of myself that I thought there was no way anyone could think any higher of me.

Shy - I could not make eye contact without going pink in the face.  I could not talk to a stranger, especially a female without turning purple and breaking out in a full on sweat.

There was still that faint voice that said I was meant for more.

I tried listening to the voice, but would always derail myself - limiting beliefs and negative self talk will do that and I was a master of both.

I won't go into the full story of transformation here, I have written on that before and that is not the intent of this blog.

What is the intent is to talk about that faint voice and how it lead me to writing this to you today.

It would whisper that I had a message to share, but the problem was I could barely speak up to a stranger let alone a crowded room.

As I began to make changes in my life the voice became louder.

As I began to follow the steps laid out by various mentors and coaches, the voice became louder.

As I began to believe in myself, the voice became louder. 

As I began to help people make positive changes in their lives, the voice became louder.

As I began to realize and live my mission, my purpose, the voice became louder.

I no longer feared that voice, I wanted to embrace it, I wanted to embody it, I wanted to use it to help more people and to be able to reach across time zones, oceans, and boarders.

I knew I needed to start speaking, presenting, get on stage and in front of a camera to facilitate trainings, workshops, and events.

My focus shifted to doing that.  Tapped into resources like Toastmasters.  Began listening to speakers/presenters when driving, when working out, when brushing my teeth etc...

Started speaking in front of the camera.  Have put myself out there continuously - 100's of videos have been published.  It took 1000's of attempts to get those 100's.

One of my personal speaking goals is to one day attend the Toastmasters International Convention as a competitor. Yesterday, (Saturday) I took a step towards that goal winning round two of the competition for my area. (See picture below).

I share the above as I hope it inspires you.

Inspires you to see that my story is likely not that different than yours.

I grew up in a small town from humble beginnings.

I walked through most of the early part of my life with my head hanging down, ashamed of who I was.

I walk tall today not because of my height, but because I know how it feels to make transformational changes in ones' life.

If you are in a space in your life to receive inspiration about what could be possible for you, I hope you receive this blog as that inspiration.

I am where I am today not because of what happened in the past, I am where I am today because I made decisions about the future I wanted and began to work towards building that future.

If I could do it, I promise you that you can too.

Need a little help getting started on your journey, it would be my honor to do so.  Click this link to get the process started.

Any questions, leave them in the comments below.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse








Sunday, March 5, 2017

What would happen if you no longer feared rejection?

One of biggest fears shared by many of us is the fear of rejection.

Dreams will be dismissed before they even begin when faced with the prospect of rejection.

One "no," can lead to a lifetime of what could have been's.

Great love story's, amazing inventions, and much more remains unrealized because the prospect of potential rejection becomes to much to face.

Every day I am blessed to be able to speak with people from all over the world.  So many of these amazing people are living a life that is less than what they desire because they fear the potential of rejection.

Recently I came across a TED talk where the speaker made it his mission to tackle rejection head on.  Having lived much of his early life "safely," to avoid being rejected, he decided to make a challenge ( it reminded me very much of my own 1 Year 1000 Challenge) to basically seek out rejection for 100 days straight.

The video is about 16 minutes long, it is funny, it is insightful, it is inspiring, and it is well worth the investment of time to watch it.

As a side note - the story about the doughnut shop he mentions in here, I remember hearing that story when it first happened. Perhaps you did too?



What did you think his talk?  Are you willing to risk the potential of a "no," so that you can get a yes to living the life you want?

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Sunday, February 26, 2017

The Three Big Mistakes People Who Want to Live Great Lives Make

Every day I speak with people who want more out of life. And every day I speak with people who are unsure why they do not have everything they want.

Often times people fall under the hypnosis that living a great life is as easy as being positive all the time.

"Jesse, you don't understand, I think positive thoughts. I say my prayers.  I express gratitude constantly.  Why I am not getting the results I want in life?"

As they say: If it was that easy everyone would do it.

Unfortunately, it isn't always that easy and to live what one would consider a great life (note the term "great life" is subjective as I believe it is defined on an individual basis) there are some things we typically need to do and some we need to avoid doing.

Recently I recorded a short training on "Three of the Big Mistakes People Who Want to Live Great Lives Make.'  These three big mistakes are mistakes I have seen many people who want to live great lives make.

I wanted to share them with you so that if you are making any of these mistakes you can avoid them in the future, correct course, and also bring it to the attention of the people you care about the most if you see them making any of these three mistakes.

You can watch the training in the video below.  Or you can click this link to go and watch it in youtube.

If you have any questions about what is discussed in this training video, please leave them in the comments below.


  


 I hope you found value watching "The Three Big Mistakes People Who Want to Live Great Lives Make."

 Carpe Diem,

 Jesse

 http://www.jessebrisendine.com 

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge 

.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Five Reasons Why You Fail to Achieve Your Goals

It has been conclusively proven time and time again that goal setting leads to goal achieving.

Countless studies have shown that taking the additional steps of writing down your goals, sharing them with someone else, and creating a deadline to accomplish them also enhances the likelihood of them being accomplished.

With so much success science available on the importance of goal setting, why is it still that so many people still fail to achieve their goals?

If you are someone, or you know someone, who has goals, but at times struggles to achieve them, then you want to watch this training on "The Five Reasons Why You Fail to Achieve Your Goals," I put together for you.

In it I share with you Five of the main reasons why people fail to achieve their goals.  If you take the neccessary steps to stop yourself from doing these five things then you will be fast tracking yourself on a path to goal achievement .




Click here to watch the training in Facebok


Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

+Jesse Brisendine

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Four Steps to Create Immediate Positive Change

Every day I talk with amazing people from all over the world.  And every day, without fail, I speak with at least one person that says "Jesse I would love to make more positive changes, but I don't know how."

Is that you?

Or

If you are doing awesome at life (YAY you), could you make one or two key positive changes that would would elevate your life from awesome to even more awesome?

Whether you are struggling to figure things out or you are on cruise control - I have yet to meet an honest person who doesn't have at least one positive change they would like to make.

Positive changes in our lives lead to positive results experienced not only by us, but often the people we care about the most.  After all, when we are at our best then we often show up and bring our best to the table when we are spending time with our main people.

Because positive change is so important, I recently hosted a Facebook Live training sharing four steps that anyone can take right away to create immediate change.  You can watch that training by clicking here. Or click the video below.



I encourage you to watch the entire training, but if you are short on time and want to get the main bullet points right now, here they are:

Change Your State

Whether it is our mental or emotional state - our thoughts and feelings will dictate the quality of our lives.  Here's a video I put together on Mastering Your Mindset. 

Connect to Your Why

Our "why" is our greatest source of inspiration/motivation/determination for why we do what we do.  If you are struggling to accomplish something or not following through on your goals it is likely because you aren't connecting to your "why."  Here's a great video about your "why."

Utilize a Mentor

The simplest way I can explain the role a mentor/coach can have in your life is to help you get from where you are to where you want to be as fast, safe, efficient, and effectively as possible.  There is no need to lose days, weeks, months, even years of your life banging your head against the wall in frustration because you are unable to produce the results you want.  Tap into the awesome resources of a coach.  If you want to learn more about coaching services that I offer you can check those out here.

Take Action

Nothing changes if we do not take action to change things.  Click here to watch a video I recorded about making the decision to choose an action of action.


I hope you found value in this blog.  Leave me a comment below and let me know your thoughts.

Until next time...

Carpe Diem,
Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Sunday, February 5, 2017

The Last Wishes of Alexander the Great

A great short story - well worth the read.

"The last wishes of Alexander the Great:
On his death bed, Alexander summoned his generals and told them his three ultimate wishes:
1. The best doctors should carry his coffin
2. The wealth he has accumulated (money, gold, precious stones) should be scattered along the procession to the cemetery, and
3. His hands should be let loose, hanging outside the coffin for all to see.
One of his generals who was surprised by these unusual requests asked Alexander to explain.
Here is what Alexander the Great had to say:
1. I want the best doctors to carry my coffin to demonstrate that, in the face of death, even the best doctors in the world have no power to heal
2. I want the road to be covered with my treasure so that everybody sees that material wealth acquired on earth, stays on earth
3. I want my hands to swing in the wind, so that people understand that we come to this world empty handed and we leave this world empty handed after the most precious treasure of all is exhausted, and that is TIME.
TIME is our most precious treasure because it is LIMITED. We can produce more wealth, but we cannot produce more time.
When we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our life that we will never take back.
Our time is our life."

Powerful questions to ask yourself:

Are you living the life you want to live? If no, what needs to change?


How will you spend Your time today? What are three things you can do that will add happiness, joy, and fulfillment to your day?





Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Sunday, January 29, 2017

5 Common Misunderstandings that Will Ruin Any Relationship

Hi Everyone,

Recently I was asked to guest blog and the topic I was asked to write about is: "5 Common Misunderstandings That Will Ruin Any Relationship."

I wanted to make sure you had the chance to read it as well.  I have included it below along with a few links to helpful resources.

Please feel free to pass it along to your friends.



Relationships are the source of some of our most blissful, fulfilling, and pleasurable experiences when they are working; but when they are not, they can be the root of some of our deepest pain.

When our relationships are going well, we walk with a lightness in our steps, sunshine follows us everywhere, and the birds are always singing. When our relationships are not going well, we drag ourselves through the day with a dark cloud following us everywhere and the birds are nowhere to be found.

To minimize the pain and maximize the pleasure of your relationship, here are 5 common misunderstandings that will ruin any relationship:


* It is your partner's job to fix you.

As you go through life you learn how to fear, doubt, and form limiting beliefs about yourself and the world at large. This "stuff" of yours likely has negative consequences on your mental, emotional, and physical states - perhaps making you feel broken in some ways. It is not your partner’s job to fix you. The tools of love, while powerful, are not necessarily the tools that can ease fear, dispel doubt, and repair limiting beliefs. If you have “stuff” affecting your quality of life and your relationship, seek the help of a counselor, a coach, or a therapist. If you rely on your partner then you are adding a burden that the relationship was not meant to bare.

(Check out my program "Your Life Toolbox" to get an assortment of tools designed to help you live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.)


* Your relationship has space for your "baggage”.

Airlines limit your carry-on items to two and the more checked baggage you have, the higher the fee they charge you. There is a reason baggage is limited: There’s only enough room for two and in your relationship, that is You and Your partner. When you embark on new adventures go forth with only what you need and leave the rest behind. If you bring into your new relationship all of your past relationships and the mental and emotional turmoil they entail, you undoubtedly set yourself up for a challenging road ahead. Want your relationship to succeed? Then adhere to the wise words of "leave your baggage at the door."

(I have an awesome course on Self Love that can really help you with this.  Check it out by clicking here.)


* Assuming you are loved unconditionally.

I get it - I too was raised on the Disney inspired notion of happily ever after and the unconditional love that comes with it. But, after the handsome prince rescues the damsel in distress, they kiss, and ride off into the sunset have you ever stopped to wonder- what then? That's when the real relationship happens and the work to make it a lasting and fulfilling one begins. The biggest mistake I see couples make is assuming that their partner loves them unconditionally and that no matter what they say or do their partner will continue to love them. Unconditional, meaning without conditions, and yet you, me and everyone else has conditions that need to be met for our relationship to last and our love to flourish. If you really are in your relationship for the long haul, drop the fantasy and dig in to getting to know and understand your partner and what their conditions are. Once you understand those, you can make it your relationship mission to ensure those conditions are always met.


* Believing that how you show/express love is how your partner wants to be shown love.

In Gary Chapman's must-read relationship book "The Five Love Languages", Chapman discusses in depth the five distinct ways we show, demonstrate, or communicate love to our partners. The challenge couples face: how you show love and want to be shown love, may be completely different than how your partner show's love and wants to be shown love - in essence, you are speaking different love languages. Imagine going to China and trying to speak Greek... you may not get as far as you would like. Do yourself a favor and read the book "The Five Love Languages." Better yet, make it a mandatory reading for the relationship, and have a discussion about it before you go to bed each night.


* Relying on sex to solve the problems.

A friend of mine would often joke that whenever his relationships were in a rough spot he would just spend a little more time in the "Boom Boom Room" and everything would be OK. To date, he still hasn't found the long term relationship he wants. Sex has an important role in the relationship, but when that role starts to involve sweeping the problems of the relationship under the rug with the rest of the dirt, it is only a matter of time before the relationship and sex life turns sour. The rug can only hide so much so if you want a relationship that lasts, you have to make it a habit to clean under the rug - often. The cool thing is that the more you clean, the less there is to clean. I suggest setting a time, once a week, for a regular relationship check-up. During this time, you and your partner can talk about what is going great in the relationship and what you can improve upon. Making regular communication like this a priority will not only keep the space under the rug clean, it will also ensure that the sizzle stays in your sex life.

I hope you found value in this.  Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

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