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Saturday, January 24, 2015

The Inside Scoop on Jesse Brisendine part 2

Hi there!

Last week I invited one of my best friends, Macie Berlin, to do a guest blog and share some stories about me.

If you haven't read last week's blog, aka Part one of "The Inside Scoop on Jesse Brisendine" you are going to want to read that first before you read today's.  Click here to read it.

Before I get to part 2, can I first say how much I love Macie's writing.  Over the course of our friendship I have gotten to read a lot of Macie's writings and each time I am amazed by the talent she has for it.  She has a way of capturing moments/memories and putting the emotion and feelings right back into them.

Anyways, I know you are eagerly waiting for part two, before I get to that just a quick reminder that beginning tomorrow, Monday January 26th, enrollment will open up for the Six Weeks to Your Greatest You program.  I'll only be taking 20 people for this one of a kind experience.  Claim your spot quick because this program will sell out. I will be sending an email out on Monday as well as posting it to Facebook on the 1 Year 1000 Challenge page.

Ok, onto Maice:

I take a lot of pride in how hard I can make that guy laugh. I have always thought of myself as quick-witted and humorous, but it's always a sort of self-fulfilling validation when someone else receives you the same. It also matters to me that I make Jesse laugh because I have seen him go without laughter for what has felt like eternities.


I know you know about Gabe. Or “Maverick” as I knew him based on Jesse's introduction one Super Bowl Sunday years ago. What you don't know is that Gabe's death occurred the day after my college graduation ceremony and party, both of which Jesse had attended. Or that it came 5 days before we were supposed to be getting on a plane to Texas to board a cruise ship and sail around the Caribbean. Or that Jesse and I had pondered life's meaning and direction minutes before the infamous text message in the public library. I didn't really understand Gabe's death at the time. I cried at his funeral, I questioned the note that he left, and I hurt for my friends. I didn't know what to do. So I just listened. I had nightmares every night because Jesse would describe the event in such detail to me. I had nowhere to place the images that I concocted via his descriptions, so they became figments of a scary fantasy, but I knew that Jesse needed to spill those memories somewhere. One day, shortly after everything, Jesse pulled up outside of my apartment and we just sat in his car and cried. He had a tupperware of tuna on his lap and I remember staring at it, as I held his head to my shoulder. I couldn't take my eyes off of that damn tuna. And I couldn't figure out how to save my savior.

Life did go on, but it took a really long time. The relationships that existed in our little circle of friends were strained and changed forever. Drinking had an edge to it, and the elephant in the room was life size. Jesse wasn't famous back then, but he was still well-known and well-respected. He had a lot of people who were there for him, and eventually the people who weren't were weened out and life started to take a new form of regeneration. It took a lot though. I moved in at the same time Tomas did, and the three of us lived together. I attribute some of their coping mechanisms to deal with the weight of Gabe's brutal death to having me as a “little sister” who lived with them during that time. Their pranks and teasing were a mutual ground for both of them, and we all knew what was at stake without the fun and the games. I was willing to be subjected to getting locked in my own closet and having the life scared out of me every time I came around a corner and they jumped out at me in order to give them some sort of solace. Some sort of ground to pick up the pieces that were so broken.

The other mutual ground around that time was the women who pined after my roommates. Girls – if you ever live with two straight men – brace yourself for the folly of females. I learned a lot about who I did NOT want to be by watching the women think they were involved with these men who had zero interest in them. They would invite themselves over for bbqs and explain to me their dating history with Jesse or Tomas, and they would want to be my best friend. (I was the roommate, but I was a threat in their eyes nonetheless – hence the desperation of friendship). Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a revolving circle of endless women; it was just a hilarious enjoyment for me to watch the girls expect what I knew would never come for them. Jesse has always had many admirers. He doesn't share very much about them, so I'm doing my woman-friend duties and breaking down the reality for you.

He doesn't date well. The girls are either in it for the wrong reasons or a complete snooze-fest. I'm protective and picky for Jesse, so it's not like I'm not on the hunt. But regardless. The man can use some help in this department.

I secretly applied Jesse to be on ABC's The Bachelorette one year, and then completely forgot about it until the producers called him and pushed him through to the next level. It was the most confusing day of his life, and one of the best of mine. I filled out all of the questions, shot his video, and coached him to say all of the right things to get the final slot. I was excited and the teenage girl in me flew to action. I made him brush his teeth with his shirt off like 14 times just to say “Hello ABC.” I think he went through an entire tube of toothpaste. It worked. He had a final interview in LA, and I knew he would get on.  Except that he dropped out. Know why?

The ex.

That's how I refer to her. I tolerated her for about 8 months simply because Jesse told me to, but I never liked her. And I wasn't exactly shy about my feelings toward her. Jesse would say “you guys are a lot alike and she's really driven and blah blah blah,” and I would shoot daggers at him through my disinterested green eyes – we were not alike, and I was insulted to hear such a claim. She was using him, and I wanted her GONE. She stayed at the house without permission, her humor was acceptable once every 16 dirty jokes or so, and she was completely lost and dependent on my friend. She didn't want to date Jesse, she wanted to BE Jesse. But instead she tore him down. She told him all the things he wasn't good at and could never be. She misread his sensitivity for weakness, and she was always on to the next best thing. Girlfriends must be accepted by the girl friend. It's the cardinal rule of co-ed friendship. She failed miserably.

She broke up with him and then threw her fishing rod out to lure him back in once in a while when she felt low about herself, which I imagined to be often. Unfortunately for ABC, this kept Jesse from being a shoo-in on The Bachelorette. Sorry America, I tried.

Sometimes I wonder if many of his followers are intrigued by Jesse because of his good looks and then somehow end up falling for him. It's totally in your right. I always worry that you won't really understand Jesse. You won't see him beyond his online presence. And that scares me. Regardless, if you think you're the bee's knees and made for Jesse Brisendine, I would truly love to talk to you.

Admittedly, I don't have a perfect dating record either. Jesse has helped scoop me off of the floor after cheater and liar have crushed my open heart, and he has been the bearer of bad news when he has sensed or seen a major red flag in the men of my liking. When I lived with Jesse and Tomas, they would salivate at the idea of a boy coming over. When we would go out together, if I was talking to a guy, they would come over, shake his hand, fart, and then walk away, leaving us with the literal stench and discomfort. But Jesse has also been my biggest pusher toward love. He has made an effort to meet the men I've loved, to listen to my ups and downs, and to weigh in from a male perspective. Between the two of our dating lives, we have come to simply call it “girl talk.” I wrote a book a few years ago and then decided I didn't want to publish it. It depicts my entire (relatively short) life in the scheme of men who have affected it in various degrees. It became more of a cathartic process for me, but I shared it with Jesse nonetheless and he has continually supported my writing habit. That's another thing about him – he is passionate about my passions.


Did I mention one of those passions is feminism? I won't go through the name-calling that Jesse teased me with when I first told him I was a feminist, but I knew it was out of love. And let's be honest, everyone has an eye roll and label to press when it comes to feminism. I studied it in college, went on my first protest when I was 20, and continuously dabble and dive in the ever-present issues that are dripping in feminism. Jesse never identifies me as just that, but he is always up for a good discussion about assholes and opinions. We share the commonality of defying connotative stigmas attached to many of our characteristics. I am young, blonde, and light-eyed; I wear high heels and get dressed up at times; I cuss and cry and watch really, really bad tv. But I'm a feminist. People can't seem to get that. Jesse is a 6'4” body builder type with bubbling muscles and clear skin; he works out pretty much every day (often twice a day) and brings his own protein powder to the gym. But he's sensitive. People can't seem to latch on to that easily either.


So who is Jesse Brisendine? Is he... to be concluded next week.

Next week's blog: Jesse's weird habits, Haiti, more grief, and who he is today

Macie's Bio:

Macie is your average Feminist Studies and Exercise and Sports Science major from UCSB. By average, she means she's a walking contradiction. She loves all things sports and competition, and she is also a passionate philanthropist and activist. Most important, she is a nerd at heart. Macie coaches and runs character development programs from high school girls soccer players, and she continuously pursues her favorite activity - writing. Macie's various, but important passions include her non-profit organization, H.E.E.A.L. (Hope through Exercise, Energy, and Art for Life), which serves to fund other organizations who promote and provide exercise and art outlets (www.heealsb.org). They also include her podcast, Dropping the F Bomb (www.droppingthefbomb.org), which delves into modern-day feminism with a little bit of an attitude, and her blog, Lifestyle of the Torn and Triad, which follows her journey through her 3rd knee surgery in her 20s (http://lifestyleofthetornandtriad.weebly.com/blog). Macie will also be starting as a contributor for Elite Daily (www.elitedaily.com).

Jesse Here:

There is something both scary and freeing about having someone so close to you write about you. I don't think I would let anyone do this other than Macie.  I trust her and I am thankful for that trust as allowing her to do this has been a trip down memory lane for me.  It has allowed me to relive some amazing memories and process experiences in the past from the present perspective.  I hope you all are enjoying Macie's stories as much as I am.

I have attached a few more photos of Macie and I.

Enjoy the photos,

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge






Saturday, January 17, 2015

The Inside Scoop on Jesse Brisendine part 1

Greetings!!

As promised, this week's blog comes courtesy of my dear friend Macie Berlin.  She will be popping in from time to time to share some awesome content, along with a few personal stories about me in an effort to help you all get to know me better.

I told her she had free reign to write whatever she felt would be of value to all of you. I hope you enjoy:




“What the hell is panhandling?” I asked, infuriated, confused, and taken aback.

I was behind a red velvet curtain in a Las Vegas casino with my bathing suit cover up and flip flops, handcuffed to a plastic diner-esq chair, staring down some rent-a-cop, and I had no purse, phone, or anything useful. Someone had called to report that I had been panhandling? Begging for money? What? How? I was lost.

I had no idea how long I had been gone since I was grabbed seemingly out of the blue in the middle of the afternoon, but I imagined that it had been at least an hour since I got up from the bar-side table and ran to the restroom after having half of a drink with my new friend, Jesse. I had just started working at the personal training studio he was at back in Santa Barbara, and we worked out a way to meet up when we learned we were both going to be in Las Vegas attending separate (but surely equally destructive) birthday parties. Except I never returned from the bathroom.

Hours later, after hundreds of tears, questions, and interrogative notions, I was released (apology still pending), and I sobbed myself to sleep alone in my hotel room as my girlfriends partied the night away. At some point, I finally re-connected with Jesse. He sounded exhausted. Little to my knowledge, he had been on a wild goose chase. He was enraged that I had been so mistreated, saying that he had receipts with the time I was with him that would serve as eventual evidence and then went on to portray his panic while I was missing because no one would check the surveillance cameras to help find me. He was up in arms, ready to sue, worried, yet relieved, and he would not rest until some sort of justice prevailed. I couldn't believe how worried this guy was about me and how adamant he was about being in my corner. He barely even knew me yet.

It's been over 6 years since that trip to Vegas, and we've been roommates, best friends, running partners, and each other's “person” for so much of that time, and I consider a lot of that to be because of that initial meet up. I seemingly can't think of one secret that I have that Jesse doesn't know, and vice versa. I can think of many that the two of us share together, and there is no doubt we will take those to our grave.

So when I take a look at who Jesse Brisendine, the man behind The 1000 Challenge, behind the sunset pictures, the inspiring quotes, and the gut-wrenching story is, I see a lot of what you, his followers see; but I also see Jesse, the guy who made me cry on my 23rd birthday because he hid my stuffed polar bear in the pantry, the man who has backed the two-timing douchebag into a corner in my defense, and the guy who I have watched deal with life's cruel, but intentional hand in the best and worst of times. You know Jesse, but I dare to argue that I know just a little bit more.

Jesse and I are alike in about as many ways as we are different. We are both smart. We have lofty discussions about everything, and we are so thirsty to learn more about everything that we can instantly feed off of one another. We read a lot. I play fantasy football, and Jesse can't stand it. We grew up on opposite ends of the state. One of us enjoys television. In my 27.5 years alive, I have gone just ONE of those years without the luxury of cable tv. That was 2010, the year I lived with Jesse. Don't get me wrong – books are, and always have been, a huge part of my life. But so has cable! I grew up pining over One Tree Hill while downing chicken and veggies with my mother, having girls' night for OC viewings, and have been a die-hard Lakers fan since the Nick Vanexel and Eddie Jones days. No cable tv?! Pardon my french, but fuck that. It was hard. One of the clear, compelling differences between the two of us. There is something about Jesse, however, that allowed me to allow him to win that battle. That's what's funny about our relationship – we don't battle because there is a wordless understanding of who should ultimately get it. Sure, we've had fights. We've even gone weeks without speaking. But 100 times out of 100 times, we understand each other.

I can't believe I'm going to admit this in writing, but I am a huge proponent of honest script, so here it goes. I shit my pants one time. No seriously. Like full blown. I was out for a run with Jesse's then girlfriend and one of his clients. He was overseas with Paul. I want to say it was about 4 years ago. Jesse had a way of connecting all of the important people in his life so that we functioned well with or without him. The three of us went for a routine 12 mile run that day. At mile 10, I shit my pants. My stomach had been hurting for about 6 miles, but I would have taken 1000 needles jabbing at me over the mess that actually ensued. I had to lay down in the thinning grass and foxtails on the side of the very well traveled road next to the ocean with his girlfriend crouching beside me while the other guy sprinted on to bring the car back around. I had to ditch my (literally) soiled running shorts, wrap Jesse's beach towel around my waist, and humiliatingly get a ride home. This will be the first time that Jesse finally figures out why his beach towel was gone when he returned from overseas. See? No secrets. So I emailed Jesse to tell him the story. I spelled it out entirely and asked him if he thought a guy would ever want to date a girl who shit her pants in her 20s. Minutes later I got a call long distance from Europe. You know what I heard?

Laughter. Joyous, child-like, incredulous laughter. He was laughing at me! He said he didn't care how much the phone call was costing him because that was the funniest story he had ever heard and he needed to relive it verbally. I suppose this is now one less story he has to worry about taking to his grave. Cat's out of the bag.

That's what is so special about the kind of friend Jesse is. He's not going to walk me through life's lessons when I've just traumatized myself in a way that just doesn't seem to happen. Ever. He's going to have a good laugh. Over and over again.

I take a lot of pride in how hard I can make that guy laugh. I have always thought of myself as quick-witted and humorous, but it's always a sort of self-fulfilling validation when someone else receives you the same. It also matters to me that I make Jesse laugh because I have seen him go without laughter for what has felt like eternities.

To be continued...

Next week's blog will delve into dating and how Jesse was almost a Reality T.V. star.



Macie's Bio:

Macie is your average Feminist Studies and Exercise and Sports Science major from UCSB. By average, she means she's a walking contradiction. She loves all things sports and competition, and she is also a passionate philanthropist and activist. Most important, she is a nerd at heart. Macie coaches and runs character development programs from high school girls soccer players, and she continuously pursues her favorite activity - writing. Macie's various, but important passions include her non-profit organization, H.E.E.A.L. (Hope through Exercise, Energy, and Art for Life), which serves to fund other organizations who promote and provide exercise and art outlets (www.heealsb.org). They also include her podcast, Dropping the F Bomb (www.droppingthefbomb.org), which delves into modern-day feminism with a little bit of an attitude, and her blog, Lifestyle of the Torn and Triad, which follows her journey through her 3rd knee surgery in her 20s (http://lifestyleofthetornandtriad.weebly.com/blog). Macie will also be starting as a contributor for Elite Daily (www.elitedaily.com).

Jesse here:

I hope you enjoyed Macie's blog.  Please let us (Macie and I) both know what you think in the comments below.  I'm looking forward to reading part 2 next week. :)

The below photos are two of my fav's of Macie and I.  The first one is the one that if you asked either of us what photo best describes our friendship, we would both say "the one at the bowling alley."

Enjoy :)

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge





Sunday, January 11, 2015

Travel Frustrations Lead to Opportunity

Happy New Year!

Wow I cannot believe 2015 is here! I bet you in a year from now I will be saying, "Wow I can't believe 2016 is here!" hahaha

A couple quick updates before we get to this weeks blog:

1 - I have been getting inquiries asking when I will be hosting the next Six Weeks to Your Greatest You program?  The answer... The first week of February!  Signups will open up towards the end of January.  Keep your eyes open for enrollment opportunity as this program fills up fast.

2 - To answer your questions, Yes You can still join the Zero Limits Mastermind.  Click here to learn more. The group members are all awesome and doing some really extraordinary things.  This group is only for those of you who want to make 2015 an Epic year.

  3- Lastly, I love saving the best for last, I mentioned in my Christmas blog the idea of bringing in one of my best friends to do the occasional guest blog and share some personal stories about me along the way.  There was a ton of positive feedback about the idea so I wanted to take the opportunity to introduce you to my very very dear friend, Macie Berlin. Some of you may recognize Macie's name as I have referenced and supported her non profit HEEAL in the past.  In fact, HEEAL partnered up with me when I did the first International Trash Clean Up Day back in 2011.  Macie's first post will be next week.  I am really looking forward to what she comes up with as she is an extremely talented writer. 

In the meantime, I asked Macie to write up short bio to introduce herself to you all.  Here is what she came up with:

Macie is your average Feminist Studies and Exercise and Sports Science major from UCSB. By average, she means she's a walking contradiction. She loves all things sports and competition, and she is also a passionate philanthropist and activist. Most important, she is a nerd at heart. Macie coaches and runs character development programs from high school girls soccer players, and she continuously pursues her favorite activity - writing. Macie's various, but important passions include her non-profit organization, H.E.E.A.L. (Hope through Exercise, Energy, and Art for Life), which serves to fund other organizations who promote and provide exercise and art outlets (www.heealsb.org). They also include her podcast, Dropping the F Bomb (www.droppingthefbomb.org), which delves into modern-day feminism with a little bit of an attitude, and her blog, Lifestyle of the Torn and Triad, which follows her journey through her 3rd knee surgery in her 20s (http://lifestyleofthetornandtriad.weebly.com/blog). Macie will also be starting as a contributor for Elite Daily (www.elitedaily.com).

Ok on to this weeks blog...

I went up North, to where I grew up, to visit my Mom, Brother, and Nephew for Christmas. I only make it up there about once a year, the reason being is, well to be frank, traveling up there can be a pain in the ass.  

To fly up there you have to fly through two of the most delayed airports in the world, San Francisco International Airport, and little tiny Eureka/Arcata airport that is technically located in McKinleyville (Humboldt County joke). If everything is on time I can make it door to door in about 4 1/2 hours.  BUT, if there is a hiccup it can turn into an event like the one that happened this recent trip, which leads to a full day of airports and travel.

I was supposed to leave for Santa Barbara early Sunday morning and be back in town by 10am.  Saturday morning (December 27th) I got a text message saying that my flight had been canceled.  The next available flight they could get be on was not until Tuesday, December 30th!!  


I am not going to lie... I was bummed... this was the last day with my family and I was going to lose out on it now because the airline could not find crew to operate the plane.  

I'll make a long story short and summarize the rest of the day: I left my Mom's house at 11am to drive to the airport to rent a car. I then had to drive to Redding California (about three hours) and bring my Mom with me as the airport would not let me rent a car one way.  I get to Redding, grabbed some food and checked my Mom into her hotel (My Mom cannot see very well at night. I put her up in a hotel so she could drive home in the daylight and well rested).  I had just sat down to relax for a few minutes before catching a cab to the airport when I get a text message saying my flight out of Redding was now delayed.  (I may expand on this more at a future date depending on how the airline handles reimbursing me for expenses incurred because of this). I eventually make it to SFO 10 minutes before the Santa Barbara flight leaves.  I sprint through the terminal make it onto the plane just in time and make it into my bed about 1am.  Like I said traveling to where I grew up can be a pain in the ass.

Ok, so why I am I sharing this travel odyssey with you all

Well a couple reasons:


When I got the initial text message that Saturday morning, I could have gotten angry, I could have gotten pissed off, I could have focused on being felt like I was being robbed of the time with my family, but what would have that gotten me? A whole lot of exactly what I was focusing on. I would have likely spent the day angry, pissed off, and missed out on the time with my family.


Instead I told myself, "I must make the best out of this situation."  So what happened instead was I got a chance to visit the memorial bench for my Dad that one of his best friends got commemorated for him.  Then I got to have some quality time with my Mom I would not have had. Prior to leaving, I got to witness  both my brother and my nephew jump up and offer to help me out.  When I got to the Redding airport, all three of the airline employees working there shook my hand and thanked me for being so pleasant and cheerful.  They commented that it was not often that they saw someone smiling and happy after having the travel challenges I had had that day. Because I was nice they helped me out with my flights as much as they could which ultimately led to me making my flight to Santa Barbara (2 minutes later, aka the back of the plane, and I would not have made it).


Events like this that happen are just that, they are events that happen and are often out of your control.  The only thing that you can control is how you react to the event.  

If I would have gotten angry and been mad the whole day, no one would have blamed me, but look at all that I would have missed out on. I believe that when events like this happen, they are opportunities in disguise, opportunities to help us solidify the reality we want to live in.

I want to live in a happy, fun, and loving reality, so those are the things I focused on and did my best to make the experience just that: happy, fun, and loving.  If I wanted to live in an angry, pissed off, and frustrated reality I could have focused on those things and had that reality more deeply solidified.



The only reality you ever live in will be the one you choose to create.  The reality you create will be built out of what you choose to focus on.

What type of reality do you want to live in?  How would you have handled my situation and why?


Remember next week will be Macie's blog debut.  Please support her and show her the same love that you so graciously show me.

Enjoy the pics, they are all from Northern California where I grew up.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse 


http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge