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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Destination vs. The Journey or The Journey vs. The Destination January 29th 2012

January has been a Hodgepodge for me.  A mix of creative brilliance combined with infinite energy and procrastination combined with just ehhhh energy.  A mix of waking up with the excitement to take on the world and a little "I don't want to do this or that right now, I'll do it later," itus.  The first three weeks were the former while this last week has been more of the later. Is it part of being sick, yeah, maybe a little.  Is it a case of being a lazy procrastinator... yea definitely a little of that too (as of this writing I have about exhausted all the time I care to dilly dally on YouTube).  And then there is the 1000 Challenge, day to day life without day to day challenges to go on; that is the bigger part of it which is the reason for my title of this blog "The Destination vs. The Journey or The Journey vs The Destination."

When I was in Texas two weeks ago for my birthday road trip I found myself pondering the above.  As I drove by historical land marker after historical land marker, I realized already how different 2012 was than 2011.  In 2011 each of those land marks would have been a stopping point, an experience to have, history to learn, and thus become part of the 1 Year 1000 Challenge.  This time though I traveled with an agenda.  I had four days to cover about 2000 miles which left little to no time for stopping, save for gas and the planned stopping spots on the trip: Roswell, Carlsbad Caverns, Guadalupe Mountains, Big Bend, and the Alamo.

I am not going to lie, at first I was very sad.  I squirmed, I fidgeted, I fussed about not stopping.  It felt like I kept passing one of my best friends on the side of the road, but I never stopped to say hi.  I realized in these moments just how desperately I wanted to hold on to 2011 and the year that was the 1 Year 1000 Challenge. 

I think it was the band, "Aerosmith," that sung about "Life's a Journey not a Destination."  I found myself silently pondering this.  Actually in the early stages it was more of a stressing out about this to be perfectly honest.  Was I falling back into an old routine?  Was I allowing so much of the world to pass me by?  Was I back to focusing on one thing and one thing only instead of slowing down to appreciate all  the world around me??!!   AHHHHHHHHH!!!

By giving myself a limited amount of time and focusing on the Destination was I missing out on the entire Journey?  Then suddenly I had an epiphany, the Destination was the Journey, they had become one in the same.  This time the journey had become the trip itself.  The adventure of getting to these places, the great distance to travel, the bonding time with a friend, the long days, all of it was part of the Journey.  The Journey had just changed a little, change can be good.

Last year was about a challenge, a challenge to do at least one new thing, but averaging close to three a day, for an entire year to try and do/see/experience 1000 things I never had done/seen/experienced.  From that challenge all sorts of wonderful things have been born, amongst which are my goals for this year.  And my goals for this year are part of my life's journey. 

Even more than that the journey has evolved to something new.  Last year was constantly about Challenge's and with having so many to do in such a short time, I often felt like I was rushing from some places I would have liked to spend more time at.  This year, part of the journey is to have the option to take those extra few minutes and really enjoy all that I experience. 

Ok, this is all great Jesse, and a big high five to you for this little epiphany you have had, but it still does not explain why you have been procrastinating so much this last week (hence not blogging for over two weeks).  I would love to say it was some deep profound reason, but I think the real deep down reality of it is: I kind of enjoyed being lazy the last several days.  Despite what I may say to the contrary, I just kind of wanted to chill for a few days.  After being "on" non stop for over a year; once I finished my website it was time to just unwind. 

It was great and all.  I finished a video game that I never finished the last time I played it back in 2005.  I watched a couple of really bad movies.  I was sick and spent a day in bed.  I ate some junk food, but mostly healthy food.  I went to lay on the beach a few times (yes our winter has been that nice that we can go lay on the beach).  I..., well that was really about the extent of it.  And now I am over it. 

You see it was nice to relax for a bit, but the problem with being lazy for to long is that it is not going to help me achieve my goals and fulfill my dreams.  I truly enjoy my job, my day to day life, and I love working hard - it brings me a sense of fulfillment, a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.  Why would I ever want to check out from that?

I really enjoy the life I have created for myself.  As I have said before and you all will hear me say again and again sometimes you have to spend some time in the valleys to appreciate the view from the tops of the mountains.  I voluntarily gave up my amazing view from the top of the mountain and went down below for a little R&R.  I am grateful for the opportunity I had to do it and also the insights I have had during it.  However, I am beyond eager to get back up and enjoy the view from the top of the mountain.  It is all just a part of the Journey.

Enjoy the pics,

Carpe Diem,

Jesse






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