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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Being Scared vs Living in Fear

Greetings everyone!

I hope this blog finds you doing well and pondering "what could you do if you knew you could not fail;" the question posed on the 1 Year 1000 Challenge page today.

I am writing today to share with you all some exciting news that I think fits in quite well with the "what could you do if you knew you could not fail" question.

First a quick update:

Many of you have asked me if I would ever consider selling some of my photos.  Well I have listened to all your requests and finally have some of them up for sell.  You can get them as photos, mouse pads, and calendars.  If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know.  To view the photos please click here:  Jesse Brisendine Photography

Before I get to my news I want to distinguish the difference between being scared and living in fear.

There are dozens upon dozens of emotions we human beings feel.  Happy to Angry, Scared to Excited, Hopeful to Insecure, and the list goes on and on.  Perhaps no emotion is more powerful and weighs more heavily on the human experience than Fear.

Often times Fear and being Scared get confused as being one of in the same.  If I am scared I must be fearful right?  Well not necessarily.

Let me give you an example:  A couple of years ago a good friend of mine hid in my closet and jumped out at me and yelled really loud when I opened the closet.  Her action scared the you know what out of me.  But, I was only scared in the moment.  I did not develop a fear of opening the closet because someone would jump out at me.

Being scared happens, it is an experience and then it is gone.  Fear is something that is learned and something that becomes a part of who we are, if we allow it.  Being scared affects you in the moment.  Fear affects you long after the moment has passed and will continue to affect subsequent moments if it is never addressed and conquered.

I feel that for the most part I am pretty fearless.  There are still a few out there I need to conquer, but all and all I live pretty fear free.  I do however get scared from time to time.

Which leads me to my exciting news.  I have been presented with the opportunity to travel with a few clients for several months in Europe.  They will be working in Europe and I have been invited to go and work as a trainer with them as well as any others who may want to utilize my services.

I was super excited, what an amazing opportunity this is, right?  And then I got a little scared.

I have traveled a lot, but I have never really been away from home for a long period of time.  I love my life here in Santa Barbara.  There is so much I will miss: the people, the beach, the weather, my view, the sun, my tan, the mountains; I could really go on forever.  As much as I love to travel I love it equally as much to come home to Santa Barbara.

What would life be like without Santa Barbara?

Then there are my clients.  My coaching business is remote, I can do that anywhere in the world, but I still have many clients here in town, including many personal training clients who, - gosh I have been with them for years.  The majority of my adult life has been spent with them, what will life be like without seeing them on a day to day basis?  Will they be ok without me?  Will I be ok with out them?


A couple of times I got myself worked up into such a tizzy I almost had myself convinced not to go. Despite the abundance of opportunity that will come with this adventure, I was contemplating letting that which I was scared of, the unknown, keep me from pursuing the opportunity in front of me.

I was, and still am a little, scared of the unknown - my life away from Santa Barbara.  Here is what is important: if I had made that decision to stay based on the above, then that would have become the moment in life where a change occurs from being scared to living in fear.  I do not want to live my life in fear.  AND if I examine the handy reference guide that I call my past, I know that every time I have ventured into the unknown I have always come out better off than before.

Europe here I come!  Its ok to be scared, but remember to always live fearlessly!

Enjoy the pics,

Carpe Diem,


P.S. Remember to check out my photography:  Jesse Brisendine Photography


  1. You are going to work hard and have a great time. Look forward to hearing from you while you are away.

  2. Ok first I like how you threw in there "I will miss my tan, lol! Wishing you all the best on your journey to a new venture in life. May you enjoy and embrace it to the fullest and then tell us all about it, blessings! :)

    Carpe Diem,
    NancyM - NYC

  3. Have you been bouncing around in my head all day? Your question today got me thinking along those same lines. Why am I fearful of making a major change in my life? It's not as though I've never done it before. I up and moved from TX to Fl 16 yrs ago within 2 weeks of deciding to do so. It's been one of my best decisions in life. I am very happy and excited for you and your decision. ;0) Santa Barbara will be there when you get home, along with your friends and clients. Thanks for sharing! I always find your posts enlightening or inspiring & sometimes both. Enjoy this new venture!

  4. That is awesome! When presented with opportunities, or when I'm convincing friends to follow through on amazing opportunities they have (that I wish were mine) :) I usually ask, "Will you/I regret NOT doing this?" In a year. Or a month. Or next week. I don't wonder if I would regret doing it. Whether or not it sounds scary at the time, if I feel like I would regret NOT taking advantage of the chance in front of me to do something amazing, I do everything I can to take the leap and do it!

  5. I love all the comments. Thank you everyone for taking the time to leave them :)

    I think Sarah M. said it best "will you regret NOT doing this in a year, a month, a week" if so then just get out there and do it!

    Wise words :)

    Carpe Diem,


  6. I find comfort in knowing that you are still be accessible to us no matter where you are in this world. Thank goodness for modern technology and I hope that you have the time of your life!:)

  7. I Jesse!
    Last week I had a business trip to Las Vegas for a job that I work at from home. I hadn't ever met any of my co-workers in person, and I had never been to Las Vegas, either. I was scared to go, as I'm very self conscious and usually feel quite socially awkward. Also, being in that big if a city scared me- what if I got lost? "Carpe Diem" became my mantra. I went and dove into meeting people, exploring, and had a great time. I follow you on Twitter and Facebook, and I just wanted to let you know that your message has made a difference to me. Sappy, I know, but I wanted to thank you.

  8. Thanks for sharing everyone. I love hearing your stories :)