The Power of Future Sight

I was speaking with a client a couple days ago. We were in the midst of talking about some of her goals as we had just finished up removing the mental and emotional obstructions to those goals.

I'm in mid tangent (as I sometimes find myself in) when she stops me and asked me arguably the best question I have heard all week:

"Why are people sometimes more committed to talking themselves out of solutions to their problems/challenges than they are committed to finding answers and acting on them?"

Good question, right?

It came up because she is someone who we have spoken about working together a couple times over this year and there was always "something," that kept her from beginning.

"I can't speak for everyone," I told her, "but what I see with most people is that people get so absorbed in their stories about why things are the way they are and how they can't be any different that they are unwilling to allow themselves the gift of future sight."

"What do you mean by future sight?" she asked.

"Future sight is when a person is so committed to making their future brighter: more successful, happy, & fulfilling, than their now, that they are willing to look beyond their problems and create a vision of how life can be."

Unfortunately, Future Sight is not taught in most schools nor is it practiced in most households.

What we get is something drastically different... a "things are as they are," type of an education as to how life will unfold.

Many of us grow up believing things are the way they are and that if we are not naturally smart, confident, courageous, positive, happy, etc... then we can never be those things. Instead, we have to settle for living life with what we have vs creating what we want.

Nothing can be further from the truth.

Walt Disney once said, "If you can dream it you can do it."

Future Sight is your dream. If you limit your dreams you limit what you can experience now and in the future.

If you allow yourself to expand your dreams then the possibility for your future expands too.

You are a born dreamer.

Something to help you get started:

Grab a pen and a piece of paper.

Set a timer on your phone or watch for 5 minutes.

For the next 5 minutes (you can't stop) write down everything you want for your future completely independent of your perceived limitations in the present.

Ex: If you want to be a millionaire, but are in debt right now, write down "Be a millionaire." The exercise is not meant to focus on now, it is meant to allow you to take a gander at a yet to be determined future and give you a glimpse into what's possible.

Once your five minutes are up, pick 3 - 5 of the things that you want to focus on immediately. These can be short-term goals, things you think are more doable, or the ones that emotionally resonate with you the most.

Write them on a separate piece of paper then ask yourself: "Who, What, Where, When, Why,"

"Who do I know that can help me with this?"

Ex: friends, family member, mentor, someone you know or do not know online, a coach, a teacher, etc...

"What do I need to do to begin to accomplish this?"

Ex: Time, an accountability buddy, resources, etc...

"Where do I need to focus my time and energy right now to achieve this?"

Ex: Focus needs to be on finding someone to mentor me through the process.

"When will I accomplish this by?"

Ex: March 29th, 2018

"Why is this important to me?"

Ex: Because I want to be an example to my children about how amazing life can be when you decide that you deserve an amazing life.

Lastly, decide on what your first step forward will be and then the next one after that and take action, Immediately, on that first step.

Ex: Contact the local adult ed program and sign up for the finance class.

You do not need to pay a Miss Cleo type person to see into the future for you were born with the gift of Future Sight.

You can begin to use it right now and make your future as bright as you wish.

It is your destiny!

Any questions at all, please leave them in the comments below.

If you want to share your answers to the above, please do so.

I believe in you.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

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Where Do You Look for and How do You Find Hope?

During my brainstorming session of what I wanted to write about today I came across a video that had no words, only music. The video told a visual story of an underdog rising above the perennial favorite to win the competition the two were engaged in.

It was from this video that I heard the words "people are always looking for hope," speak as clear as day in the depths of my unconscious mind.

Myself being one who advocates the trusting of one's intuition to my clients as well as a continued dedication to improve my own acting on my silent voice - I'm going with this message with the belief that it will connect with exactly who it is meant to.

I once gave a talk on suicide awareness/prevention and one of the key points of that talk was the power of hope - that hope cannot only change lives, it can save them too.

Aside from love, I'm not sure any other emotion has the power that hope does. It can change lives, create lives, pick us up from our darkest places, and inspire us to reach higher than we have ever reached before.

Hope can be the fuel for eradicating diseases (look at the recent work done with polio) and it can inspire the discovery to some of the biggest questions we have (look at Elon Musk's pledge to get to Mars in the next several years).

We know how powerful hope is, how important it is to our overall quality of life, so then why is it sometimes so hard for us to find it?

The short answer of that is: Life.

Life can be extremely hard at times and when we lose our way or something derails us on our journey it can be tough to get going again. This process is made all the more difficult by the stories we tell ourselves and to anyone who will listen.

These stories evolve from "what happened," into "what happened + the impossibility of the future we face." It is in the "impossibility" that hope disappears for the story teller and becomes seemingly elusive.

An example of this "impossibility" in action:

Jane dates Mark then Mark cheats on her. Jane then decides that she cannot risk loving again because ALL men are cheaters.

Jane has closed off her future because she has allowed her pain to paint a picture of a dismal future - a future where all men are cheaters like Mark and Mark hurts Jane.

Here's another example:

Jane dates and marries Mark. They live a happy life with a happy family until suddenly, one day, without warning, Mark dies. Jane is now a widow. Jane feels pain and loss unlike she has ever felt before. Breathing takes effort and eating seems impossible at times. Someone tells Jane that she is depressed, so Jane becomes "Depressed." As her Depression Jane sees a future only through the lens of "no Mark" and a future of "no Mark," = depressing.

Obviously these are condensed down examples and life rarely happens as neat and tidy as I have presented them here. When we experience loss and with it a loss of hope, there are often dozens of other things, people, factors that contribute to the story we tell that limits our hope.

Which leads us to: Where should one look for hope and how should they go about finding it?

The best place to look for hope when you feel an absence of it, is look outward, look to the external world for hope. Look at the smile on a newborn baby, look at the excitement of a dog before they go for their walk, look at the carefree laughter of a child. Look at nature and you will see hope in the form of the blade of grass breaking through the sidewalk, or the first flower of spring to bloom. You will see examples of hope wherever you look.

Finding hope is different. To find hope means one must find hope within themselves. How do you do that when the feeling of hope is absent?

It begins with changing your story by deleting the impossibly hopeless future and rewriting it to allow space for possibility.

Lets go back to Jane to see an example of what I am saying.

When Jane just dated Mark and Mark cheated on her, Jane decided that she could not risk loving again because ALL men are cheaters?

What if Jane changed her story to something like:

"What happened with Mark is heartbreaking and it has made me all the more aware of the type of man I want to date. I know my best friend Sally is married to Jeff who is the most amazing man ever. I am committed to only dating men that embody characteristics similar to Jeff."

In this new story their is the acknowledgement of the pain, but what's different now, is that the future is no longer impossible and Jane's pain has a purpose - a purpose to find someone like Jeff.

In our other example where Jane and Mark were married then Mark died suddenly, what if Jane's story went something more like this:

"Mark was the love of my life and he brought me so much happiness and joy. My heart is broken right now, but I am committed to picking up the pieces one by one because I know Mark would want me to do that. I know Mark would want me to find my happiness again for myself and for our children. I am committed to finding my happiness because by doing so I will be loving Mark and honoring what I know in my heart his wishes for me are."

Again Jane is acknowledging her pain, but she has changed her story to give her pain a purpose (honoring Mark by finding her happiness).

Stories are powerful - they have been how we have passed human history from generation to generation. The stories we tell ourselves are the most powerful.

Hope exists everywhere, but to see it, to find it, and to experience it, the hopeless must change their story.

If you are still reading this, my guess is that you are seeking hope in some way in your life. You may not be seeking it in the same way as Jane. Perhaps you are seeking it for your health, for your self confidence, or your career. Whatever the case may be hope is never lost and it is always there waiting to be found by you.

The discovery begins with the story you tell yourself and about yourself.

Good news is: You are the author of your story. This means you hold the pen that will write your future.

Use it to write a future filled with hope.

Carpe Diem and With Love,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Five Ways to Fight Feelings of Failure

Feelings of Failure Will Fuck You Up!

Now that we got that out of the way lets dive in.

I opened with a strong statement because this is not something to pussy foot around on. Failure, specifically our perception of it and the inevitable feelings that come with "THAT" perception, can really "F" things up if something is not done about it.

Failure is one of the greatest universal fears.

Whether it is failure in a relationship, failure at work, failure at money, failure with health, failure at winning the game, or/and failure in life... perhaps more than anything else, the fear of failure keeps people frozen and prevents the transformation of ordinary to extraordinary.

Speaking from personal experience, the fear of failure has been the source of more sleepless nights, more waking up with my heart racing, more self deprecating feelings, and more cold sweats than just about anything else.

If you have spent anytime wading in the failure pool you know that it is not a place you want to spend anymore time in (been there, done that, don't need the postcard). To help you out, here are five ways to fight feelings of failure.

#1 Exercise

What positive benefit about exercise have you not heard yet? It's good for virtually everything and fighting off feelings of failure is at the top of this list. Not only does it produce good feeling chemicals like endorphin's, engaging in it helps clear your mind, distracting you from the thoughts that feed feelings of failure, and at the end of it all you get a sense of accomplishment.

#2 Shift Perspective

We feed feelings of failure by focusing on a couple key things that we use as fuel for our feelings. Shift your perspective away from this to something you have done well.  Or, even better, shift your perspective outside of yourself to someone or something else.  This might be the perfect time to reflect on the one time you helped that friend who later came back and said that your kindness changed her life.

#3 Focus on Gratitude

You, I, and everyone else have so much to be grateful for. Everyday there are 1000's of things that have to go right just for us to stay alive.  Often when we are self consuming with feeling of failure we miss all that is going right all the time around us.  The roof over you head, the air in your lungs, your eyes and being able to read this (if any of those were gone, you may be willing to trade in some feelings of failure to have them back).

#4 Talk it out

If we do not express what is on our mind and heart then we will depress it.  The trash can can only hold so much before it starts to overflow.  Which is exactly why making it a regular habit of emptying out what's inside (the thoughts you are thinking and the feelings you are feeling) is imperative.  Often just having an ear to listen or some advice from a friend, a family member, or guidance from someone like a life coach, can be just what you need to get back on track.

#5 Analyze your Successes

It has been said that success leaves clues and if you are willing to go back and examine your successes you may very well find those bread crumbs of clues that map out exactly what you need to do to replicate the success. Everyone has done something that they can call a success. What separates those who can replicate it is they become students of their success and find those key actions they took to do it again.

I encourage you to really dig in and play around with these five ways to fight feelings of failure.  Doing so can radically transform your life.

Any questions, please leave them in the comments below.

If you want to dive deeper into this and trade in your feelings of failure for the success you desire, click this link to set up a strategy session with me.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

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Why you need to be working with a coach

Hi all,

I thought I would write a short article about the coaching industry and some of the benefits of working with a coach.

I hope this is of value to you and something you can use to help propel your life forward.

The coaching industry has exploded in the last 10 years! The most recent report I read estimates that there are currently over 50,000 people, worldwide, who are earning an income as some sort of coach.

What is perhaps even more amazing is that the revenue generated from the coaching industry is now well over $2 BILLION!

One of the biggest driving forces in this rapidly growing industry has been corporate coaching... essentially where more and more organizations are hiring coaches to help them develop their employees and get them to operate at peak performance which is very good for any companies bottom line. 

Coaching is a key asset to help employees thrive under rapidly changing business environments and always evolving corporate cultures. It does this by providing essential skills, support, and strategies to optimize employee performance independent of external circumstances. 

Coaching is an unique process for each individual who participates in it. The focus is often on gaining a clear understanding of the "coachee's goals', overcome any mental/emotional barriers that may pose a challenge to achieving those goals, and developing forward progressing action steps.

The reason why organizations and individuals are investing in coaching... 86% saw a return on the initial investment they made in coaching. Over 96% of those said they would do the process again if given the opportunity!

The obvious tangible returns on investment are things like increased income earned, increased productivity, and higher retention of employees.  There are also many intangible benefits that come with coaching some of them are: improved relationships, stronger communication strategies, more confidence  in themselves as individuals and as employees. 

Coaching has such a high success rate because a unique bond is formed between the coach and coachee.  Imagine having a person in your life whose sole role is to help you cut through the "BS" get crystal clear on what it is you want to accomplish and focus solely on helping you achieve that while simultaneously being happy and fulfilled in life.

If the coachee ever finds them-self "stuck," (which we all do from time to time) the coach will help them quickly shift out it and engage with new behaviors that propel them forward.

I hope this gives you a little more clarity on the coaching profession.

If this has inspired you to look at yourself and ask, "Would working with a coach be beneficial to me?" then I highly encourage you to look into it.

If you want to see if you and I would be a good match, click this link.

Otherwise do some research as there are a lot of amazing coaches out there.

If you have any questions at all, please leave them in the comments.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse 

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Do you ever stop and listen to the birds?

Hi!

I was just sitting here, quietly for a moment, when I began to hear the faint chirp of a bird. As I listened more intently, I heard a couple other birds who began to respond to the initial "Chirp-er."

Soon I began to hear a couple different species of birds, some more loud and distinctly than others (yes that is you Mr. Crow).

Do you ever stop to listen to the birds?

Life can be so busy. We live in a fast past digital world where we have access to more content and information in one hour than our ancestors of 200 years ago did in their entire lifetimes.

With distractions coming at us at light speed and there always being "something else that needs to be done," now more than ever we need to make sure we take a few moments to check in with ourselves and make sure we are meeting our most important needs.

Listening to the birds today reminded me of that.

They also reminded me that my self care and awareness does not need to be a long drawn out process where I have to light candles, do some chanting, and spend an hour stretching (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Being in the moment - getting out of my head and tuning into the world around can take only a moment.

You deserve to give yourself a moment.

Whether you spend your moment listening to the birds, feeling the wind move through your hair, or the warm sunshine on your face - choose to gift yourself with a moment that is just for you.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge 

You Must Become Your Own Super Mario

There is one person and one person only that holds the power to take your life to the next level and that is you.

Life isn't like a Mario Brothers video game where you can just find a magic power up and level up in life.

To get to the next level requires 3 things from you:

1.) A decision - you must decide that it is no longer acceptable to continue on as you have. You must draw your line in the sand and decide that from this day forward you are going to live life at a new level.

2.) A commitment - you must commit to playing a bigger game. You must commitment to beginning a new journey and traveling a path few have ever traveled before. You must commit to remaining on the path and acquiring the tools/skills necessary to travel this path. This path will not be free from obstacles or challenges so you must commit to facing them as they arise.

3.) Implementation and Effort - no one said it would be easy, but the destination will be worth the effort it takes to get there. Learn, implement, learn, implement, learn, implement, adjust, refine, learn, and implement more.

If you stick with it your efforts will yield what you seek.

You hold the power.

Today can be the day you begin to take your life to the next level.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse 

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Three Must Do's to Create an Epic Legacy

What do you want to leave behind? How do you want people to remember you?

Are you living your life in such a way, right now, that you are living the legacy you would want to leave behind?

Recently, I've been having a number of conversations with clients about their legacy. The conversations have been thought provoking and inspiring.

I wanted to share with you some of the key things I have been encouraging them to focus on in regards to legacy.

I hope the below video serves you well in creating your legacy.



Carpe Diem,

Jesse

P.S.

You too can take advantage of the offer I mentioned in the video.

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

What this picture means

Hello.

I'd like to tell you a story and see if I can help you, just as someone once helped me.

Before we get to story time, I wanted to give you some context first. This picture was taken just a couple weeks ago:

I took it at one of my favorite Sunrise viewing spots in Santa Barbara, California. 

I had just finished up a morning walk where most of the time was spent in deep thought of how I could be more effective at empowering you with the tools you need to build the life you want. 

I wake up, do my warm up exercises to help make my back happy, take a walk, and recite numerous things I am grateful for while noticing the beauty of the world around me. Then I begin asking myself questions: "how can I more effectively reach them." "What is the difference that will make the difference for them?" "How can I empower them with more certainty so they will listen to their heart instead of talking themselves out of something with their fear voice?"

I love this morning routine - I always feel happy, grateful, and inspired after.

There was something a little different about this particular morning walk which is why I am writing you today.

As I was enjoying the sunrise, I found myself reflecting back to a turning point in my life that happened nearly 15 years ago.

I was shy, self conscious, insecure, staring at myself in the mirror having just finished my then morning routine of telling myself: "how awful I was," "what a loser I was," "how worthless I was," "I didn't have anything worth contributing," etc...  There were moments during those days where I hated virtually every fiber of who I was.

To make matters worse, I had just received a letter from UCSB (my college I was attending) saying if I didn't get my grades up I would be kicked out of school.  Not only that I was on probation from the dorms for alcohol abuse (about to be kicked out of there too).

On that fateful day there was a spark that I had never noticed, (or maybe had never listened to before), that told me I could be more.

I had no idea how, but I knew one thing with absolute certainty, I did not want to keep living feeling the way I had any longer.

 For the first time I felt inspired to want to be happy, feel confident, and to matter. It was an important time in my life, a turning point.

Maybe you've had one of those? Or maybe you're in a transition right now, or ready for one.

My transition began with: figuring out what makes me happy, discovering how I could create self confidence, caring more deeply for those around me, and giving back to those who would listen.

People noticed and asked what had changed. I would tell them about what I was learning from all the books I was reading and training's I was attending.

My heart would break when I would meet people who were allowing fear to be in the driver's seat of their life.  I wish I could count on one hand (unfortunately the actual number is much larger) how many beautiful, potential filled people I have met, who were settling for less than their desired life because their minds were plagued with fear, self doubt, and uncertainty.

I believed if these people only had the right tools then they too would be able to eliminate their fears, get rid of the bad B.S. (belief systems), ditch stress, worry, and anxiety so that they could build a life filled with financial abundance, happiness, joy, and freedom to live life the way they want to live it.

I knew I wanted to make my life about making a difference in the lives of others by empowering them with the essential tools and techniques for building an extraordinary life. 

I never imagined I'd have the freedom to do some of the things I get to do. I call one of the most beautiful places in the world my home.  I get to set my own schedule, travel when I want to, test out new ideas, and have the opportunity to contribute meaningfully to the lives of others.

And I never imagined that yours' and mine paths would cross (I am very thankful you read my blogs). :) 

I never foresaw Facebook, YouTube, Instagram or blogs. I just wanted to inspire others as I had been inspired. I wanted to help others achieve the life they truly desired instead of settling for the life they were living.

I'm sharing this with you because I know you see all my posts, videos, and courses I offer. 

But behind it all, there's this excited big kid who still feels lucky to have had a second chance at life to do life the way I was meant to vs the way fear was dictating to me. Today, as I share this with you, , I remain in awe of the tremendous freedoms and impact I have been blessed with.

Lastly, this blog wouldn't be complete if I didn't check in on you to make sure you are living the life you desire? 

If not, maybe you never realized that you could? 

It's not unrealistic. No one knew me when I began, so it's not like I was special or had some secret advantages like money or a huge network of friends (I grew up fairly poor and my shyness/insecurity/lack of self confidence put a big stop on friendship forming).

I think my only advantages I had were:

1.) I knew I wanted more.

and

2.) I knew that if someone else could accomplish what I wanted, then the potential was there for me too.

If you want to have some of the mental and emotional breakthroughs like I did, so that you can live the life you know you were born for, then, you probably need to do what I did. 

Here's the abbreviated list:

    - I read approximately 200 books on mindset, emotional mastery, psychology, business, biology, successful people, and human behavior.

    - I participated in several 1000 hours worth of various trainings... both online and live (in person).

    - I hired several different mentors/coaches

    - I tried, I failed, I tried other stuff out, failed, learned, grew, tried, made progress, etc...

    - Most importantly I got my thoughts and emotions to sink up so that I could get what I wanted to get out of the above.

    - I believed I could.

If you and I never connect beyond this email, I wanted you to at least have some rough guidelines of what I did, and continue to do.

If you would like to accelerate your results and cut out a lot of the frustration and uncertainty then I have an eight week coaching program that is designed to help you do exactly that.

If you are struggling to master your mindset and feel like you do not have the emotional control you want, I would love to speak with you!

Let's set up a complimentary strategy session and discuss exactly how this eight week coaching program will help you breakthrough the wall(s) of limiting thoughts and master your emotions so that you can build the high quality of life you were meant to live.

To set this up simply click here, fill out the short form, and pick a time that works best for you to meet.

I sincerely hope you take me up on this eight week program as I would love to have some more friends to join me in the next sunrise selfie. 

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

Click here to fill out the form
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Do You Make Time for You?

Hi

In this modern day, fast paced, wired in, online all the time world, it is so easy to focus on everything but ourselves.

In all this hustle and bustle, what about you?

I get it, I get it, you want to be on and ready for everyone, but what about being "on," and "ready" for your life?

Taking just a few minutes a day, for yourself, can radically improve your focus, your energy, your mood, your efficiency, and your health.

This super short Vlog entry is all about you taking time for you.

After you watch it, leave a comment and let me know what you are doing for you today.



Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

What would happen if you no longer feared rejection?

One of biggest fears shared by many of us is the fear of rejection.

Dreams will be dismissed before they even begin when faced with the prospect of rejection.

One "no," can lead to a lifetime of what could have been's.

Great love story's, amazing inventions, and much more remains unrealized because the prospect of potential rejection becomes to much to face.

Every day I am blessed to be able to speak with people from all over the world.  So many of these amazing people are living a life that is less than what they desire because they fear the potential of rejection.

Recently I came across a TED talk where the speaker made it his mission to tackle rejection head on.  Having lived much of his early life "safely," to avoid being rejected, he decided to make a challenge ( it reminded me very much of my own 1 Year 1000 Challenge) to basically seek out rejection for 100 days straight.

The video is about 16 minutes long, it is funny, it is insightful, it is inspiring, and it is well worth the investment of time to watch it.

As a side note - the story about the doughnut shop he mentions in here, I remember hearing that story when it first happened. Perhaps you did too?

What did you think his talk?  Are you willing to risk the potential of a "no," so that you can get a yes to living the life you want?

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

The Three Big Mistakes People Who Want to Live Great Lives Make

Every day I speak with people who want more out of life. And every day I speak with people who are unsure why they do not have everything they want.

Often times people fall under the hypnosis that living a great life is as easy as being positive all the time.

"Jesse, you don't understand, I think positive thoughts. I say my prayers.  I express gratitude constantly.  Why I am not getting the results I want in life?"

As they say: If it was that easy everyone would do it.

Unfortunately, it isn't always that easy and to live what one would consider a great life (note the term "great life" is subjective as I believe it is defined on an individual basis) there are some things we typically need to do and some we need to avoid doing.

Recently I recorded a short training on "Three of the Big Mistakes People Who Want to Live Great Lives Make.'  These three big mistakes are mistakes I have seen many people who want to live great lives make.

I wanted to share them with you so that if you are making any of these mistakes you can avoid them in the future, correct course, and also bring it to the attention of the people you care about the most if you see them making any of these three mistakes.

You can watch the training in the video below.  Or you can click this link to go and watch it in youtube.

If you have any questions about what is discussed in this training video, please leave them in the comments below.


  


 I hope you found value watching "The Three Big Mistakes People Who Want to Live Great Lives Make."

 Carpe Diem,

 Jesse

 http://www.jessebrisendine.com 

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge 

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Five Reasons Why You Fail to Achieve Your Goals

It has been conclusively proven time and time again that goal setting leads to goal achieving.

Countless studies have shown that taking the additional steps of writing down your goals, sharing them with someone else, and creating a deadline to accomplish them also enhances the likelihood of them being accomplished.

With so much success science available on the importance of goal setting, why is it still that so many people still fail to achieve their goals?

If you are someone, or you know someone, who has goals, but at times struggles to achieve them, then you want to watch this training on "The Five Reasons Why You Fail to Achieve Your Goals," I put together for you.

In it I share with you Five of the main reasons why people fail to achieve their goals.  If you take the neccessary steps to stop yourself from doing these five things then you will be fast tracking yourself on a path to goal achievement .




Click here to watch the training in Facebok


Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

+Jesse Brisendine

Four Steps to Create Immediate Positive Change

Every day I talk with amazing people from all over the world.  And every day, without fail, I speak with at least one person that says "Jesse I would love to make more positive changes, but I don't know how."

Is that you?

Or

If you are doing awesome at life (YAY you), could you make one or two key positive changes that would would elevate your life from awesome to even more awesome?

Whether you are struggling to figure things out or you are on cruise control - I have yet to meet an honest person who doesn't have at least one positive change they would like to make.

Positive changes in our lives lead to positive results experienced not only by us, but often the people we care about the most.  After all, when we are at our best then we often show up and bring our best to the table when we are spending time with our main people.

Because positive change is so important, I recently hosted a Facebook Live training sharing four steps that anyone can take right away to create immediate change.  You can watch that training by clicking here. Or click the video below.



I encourage you to watch the entire training, but if you are short on time and want to get the main bullet points right now, here they are:

Change Your State

Whether it is our mental or emotional state - our thoughts and feelings will dictate the quality of our lives.  Here's a video I put together on Mastering Your Mindset. 

Connect to Your Why

Our "why" is our greatest source of inspiration/motivation/determination for why we do what we do.  If you are struggling to accomplish something or not following through on your goals it is likely because you aren't connecting to your "why."  Here's a great video about your "why."

Utilize a Mentor

The simplest way I can explain the role a mentor/coach can have in your life is to help you get from where you are to where you want to be as fast, safe, efficient, and effectively as possible.  There is no need to lose days, weeks, months, even years of your life banging your head against the wall in frustration because you are unable to produce the results you want.  Tap into the awesome resources of a coach.  If you want to learn more about coaching services that I offer you can check those out here.

Take Action

Nothing changes if we do not take action to change things.  Click here to watch a video I recorded about making the decision to choose an action of action.


I hope you found value in this blog.  Leave me a comment below and let me know your thoughts.

Until next time...

Carpe Diem,
Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

5 Common Misunderstandings that Will Ruin Any Relationship

Hi Everyone,

Recently I was asked to guest blog and the topic I was asked to write about is: "5 Common Misunderstandings That Will Ruin Any Relationship."

I wanted to make sure you had the chance to read it as well.  I have included it below along with a few links to helpful resources.

Please feel free to pass it along to your friends.

Relationships are the source of some of our most blissful, fulfilling, and pleasurable experiences when they are working; but when they are not, they can be the root of some of our deepest pain.

When our relationships are going well, we walk with a lightness in our steps, sunshine follows us everywhere, and the birds are always singing. When our relationships are not going well, we drag ourselves through the day with a dark cloud following us everywhere and the birds are nowhere to be found.

To minimize the pain and maximize the pleasure of your relationship, here are 5 common misunderstandings that will ruin any relationship:


* It is your partner's job to fix you.

As you go through life you learn how to fear, doubt, and form limiting beliefs about yourself and the world at large. This "stuff" of yours likely has negative consequences on your mental, emotional, and physical states - perhaps making you feel broken in some ways. It is not your partner’s job to fix you. The tools of love, while powerful, are not necessarily the tools that can ease fear, dispel doubt, and repair limiting beliefs. If you have “stuff” affecting your quality of life and your relationship, seek the help of a counselor, a coach, or a therapist. If you rely on your partner then you are adding a burden that the relationship was not meant to bare.

(Check out my program "Your Life Toolbox" to get an assortment of tools designed to help you live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.)


* Your relationship has space for your "baggage”.

Airlines limit your carry-on items to two and the more checked baggage you have, the higher the fee they charge you. There is a reason baggage is limited: There’s only enough room for two and in your relationship, that is You and Your partner. When you embark on new adventures go forth with only what you need and leave the rest behind. If you bring into your new relationship all of your past relationships and the mental and emotional turmoil they entail, you undoubtedly set yourself up for a challenging road ahead. Want your relationship to succeed? Then adhere to the wise words of "leave your baggage at the door."

(I have an awesome course on Self Love that can really help you with this.  Check it out by clicking here.)


* Assuming you are loved unconditionally.

I get it - I too was raised on the Disney inspired notion of happily ever after and the unconditional love that comes with it. But, after the handsome prince rescues the damsel in distress, they kiss, and ride off into the sunset have you ever stopped to wonder- what then? That's when the real relationship happens and the work to make it a lasting and fulfilling one begins. The biggest mistake I see couples make is assuming that their partner loves them unconditionally and that no matter what they say or do their partner will continue to love them. Unconditional, meaning without conditions, and yet you, me and everyone else has conditions that need to be met for our relationship to last and our love to flourish. If you really are in your relationship for the long haul, drop the fantasy and dig in to getting to know and understand your partner and what their conditions are. Once you understand those, you can make it your relationship mission to ensure those conditions are always met.


* Believing that how you show/express love is how your partner wants to be shown love.

In Gary Chapman's must-read relationship book "The Five Love Languages", Chapman discusses in depth the five distinct ways we show, demonstrate, or communicate love to our partners. The challenge couples face: how you show love and want to be shown love, may be completely different than how your partner show's love and wants to be shown love - in essence, you are speaking different love languages. Imagine going to China and trying to speak Greek... you may not get as far as you would like. Do yourself a favor and read the book "The Five Love Languages." Better yet, make it a mandatory reading for the relationship, and have a discussion about it before you go to bed each night.


* Relying on sex to solve the problems.

A friend of mine would often joke that whenever his relationships were in a rough spot he would just spend a little more time in the "Boom Boom Room" and everything would be OK. To date, he still hasn't found the long term relationship he wants. Sex has an important role in the relationship, but when that role starts to involve sweeping the problems of the relationship under the rug with the rest of the dirt, it is only a matter of time before the relationship and sex life turns sour. The rug can only hide so much so if you want a relationship that lasts, you have to make it a habit to clean under the rug - often. The cool thing is that the more you clean, the less there is to clean. I suggest setting a time, once a week, for a regular relationship check-up. During this time, you and your partner can talk about what is going great in the relationship and what you can improve upon. Making regular communication like this a priority will not only keep the space under the rug clean, it will also ensure that the sizzle stays in your sex life.

I hope you found value in this.  Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

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Action Creates Change

January 20 and 21st 2017 marked two significant days in the history of the United States and greater world at large.

On January 20th a new President was sworn into office (this is not a political blog).

On January 21st millions of people from all over the world came together to march, peacefully, "to stand together for human rights and to protect, defend and advance human rights, even in the face of adversity."

The human spirit is powerful and when we find something to channel our passions into there is virtually nothing that can't be accomplished.

BUT

Passion alone will not produce results, action does.

Here's what I mean.




Think about our experiences with New Years Resolutions.  Every year people begin the year pledging to do "X,Y,Z' this year.  But after life happens the excuses start to surface and once they do we suddenly put our "X,Y,Z" on the back burner justifying that "life got in the way." (Side note - head over to my "Your Life Toolbox" program to get help accomplish your New Year's Goals)

For change to happen, to evolve, and to continually change consistent action must always be taken.

Think about what Dr. King was able to accomplish in the Civil Rights movement or Mahatma Gandhi in the India Independence movement.  Neither made just one speech, both created change because of persistent and consistent action being taken. Furthermore, and most importantly, they inspired others to adopt the same mentality: take action, take action, take action.

The "Women March on Washington" is amazing.  Nothing like it has ever happened in history.  Millions of people worldwide participated. 

When trying to create a movement, people must keep moving.  Many marchers may be tempted to make the mistake of hanging up their marching shoes now that the big day is done and over.  For some they will be satisfied with "just being there," being a part of history, and having the pictures to prove it.

Real change continues now - the day after when each person has the opportunity to take another step towards what they want. This is where momentum is created.

Whether you participated in the march, or there is something else you are passionate about, if you want to create lasting change, you got to be willing to stay the course - treat it as a marathon and not a sprint.

Sprints are quick - done and over in the blink of an eye with the finish line always in sight. 

A marathon goes on for much longer and the majority of it is run with the finish line no where near in sight for most of the race.

Imagine if today, tomorrow, and every day forward, every person who is passionate about something took action to help bring about the change's they wanted to see.

What actions could these be?

Here are just a few ideas

Volunteer at local organization that shares a similar passion.

Organize meet ups in your community where like minded people can come together and share ideas.

Boycott industries/businesses who do not share the same beliefs as you.

Set up accountability buddies - people who will help hold you accountable in your pursuit of your goals.

Organize educational events for the public.

Utilize your social media feeds to start healthy, positive, and loving conversations. (Hint - arguing over who is right and who is wrong, name calling, and putting others down on social media does little to advance your cause).

Join a Toastmaster group or take a Writing course to improve your communication skills so you can become more effective at delivering your message.

Become an "open minded listener." Learn how to listen.  If you want to understand the psychology of your opposition you need to learn to really listen to them.  The biggest mistake one can make is to tune out the opposition.  Their words (which can only be heard by listening) often contain your keys to winning.

The above short list is just a small tip of the iceberg of what you can do, continue to do, and build on to bring about positive changes for the things you are passionate about.

The potential for change is always there.  Now more than any time in history you have a voice. In hte words of Gandhi, "You must be the change you want to see in the world." 

Nothing will change with inaction.  Everything can change when you take action to create change.

Momentum is created not with the first step, but with the second, third, and fourth.

Take those next steps today - the world needs your passion.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Merry Christmas 2016

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

I hope this message finds you doing something you love.

I always enjoy the notions that come with the Holiday Season: giving gifts, thinking of others, peace on Earth, and goodwill towards others.

If we could embody these principals all the time, imagine what the world would be like :)

One thing I was able to appreciate this season is how much I enjoy Christmas lights (I mean I have always recognized that, but this year there was a little deeper appreciation).  In fact, I think I am going to keep them up and turn them on (often) year round.

What about you?  What have been some of your favorite memories and aha's from the 2016 Holiday Season?

Another special moment I wanted to share, very quickly with you:

As a kid Home Alone and Home Alone 2 became part of the Christmas tradition.  My favorite scene from the franchise has always been the scene where Kevin is standing in front of the Rockefeller Christmas tree in New York and is eventually reunited with his Mom.  I love everything about that scene: the setting, the sweetness, the Christmas revelations, and especially the music (I included a Youtube video below).

On a recent trip to New York I fulfilled a long standing goal of recreating that moment - something I have wanted to do for a long time. I still catch myself humming the song as I reflect back on that special moment. You can watch it here

Sending you lots of love, health and happiness. 

I hope our paths cross in 2017.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

P.S.

I would love to help you get a jump start on 2017!  On New Years Day, I am hosting a live Goal setting training that you can attend for free!!  Click here to register.  So far we have folks from more than 13 countries participating. Hope you can be a part of it too. :)

How to Create More Time

I would be willing to wager that all of us, at some point in our lives, have found ourselves wishing to have more time.

"If only we had a few extra minutes..." how much more could we accomplish, how much less stress would we have in our lives, how much more time would we have for the things that matter most to us.

Well, there is a way to create more time.  It is a practice that has been around for 1000's of years. Many of the most successful people that I have studied, incorporate this practice into their daily routine.

This short video below will explain the practice, how you can begin incorporating it, and the benefits that come from it.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge 

P.S.

If you find yourself constantly being a slave to time and are looking reverse the roll and become the master of your time, then you can I need to chat about exactly how you can do this.  To set up a time to chat, take a few minutes to fill out the short form here.

Choosing Life Then Career

Hello Everyone!

I hope this blog finds you all smiling and doing your best to make this day a great one!

Awhile back I had an amazing conversation with a good friend of mine and I felt it was worth revisiting to share it with you all.  My friend, at the time, was 27 years old and is a true Entrepreneur.  After college he took out a huge loan, moved away from his friends and started his own business.  He has now started several other small businesses over the years.  The guy has an amazing work ethic, a good business sense, and the drive to succeed.

As we were chatting the other day he told me he was struggling trying to figure out what he wanted his career to be.  He has a ton of ideas, knows that he could be good at many jobs, but he is unsure about what is right for him.

I told him this, "Instead of focusing on what your career is going to be, focus on what you want your life to be like, then figure out a career that will support that."

The change in the language is a tiny one, the change it produces in ones' though process is HUGE!

So often we human beings live our lives according to what our job's allow.  If our job says we can only have 1 week of vacation a year we wait to take that one week of vacation.  If our job says we can only ever make "this much" then we focus in on that number and shut down the potential we all have to make more.  If our job says we are supposed to work at it for 30+ years until we retire, THEN we can finally start living life, we listen, we settle into the routine, and we look ahead to 30 years from now when we can start doing all the things we really want to do.

I am not saying the above is a bad thing because it is not.  And, it works really well for a lot of people.  The problem I do have with the above is it puts limits on our thinking.  It forces you to narrow your focus to the future and limits you from exploring the possibilities that exist around you at this very minute.  To give you an example:  Put your hands up to the side of your eyes, notice how your field of vision is reduced because your hands obstruct your peripheral vision.  You are left with the ability to see only what is right in front of you.  Now, if you take your hands down, you will notice that you can see all that is around you as well.  It is as if a whole new perspective just opened up for you.

When you get into the mindset of building your life around your job/career, your job becomes the focus, it becomes the driving force for what you do.  When your job is the focus, guess what, the hands go up to the side of your face, and your field of vision is reduced.

When you instead get into the mindset of building your job/career around your life, your life now becomes the driving force for what you do because it is now front and center, it is your focus.  Your hands come down from the side of your face and now you are able to see the world that is around you.

The world that is around you is where all the possibility lies.

I promise you, there are jobs out there that will support you living how you want to live.  I promise you that there are inventions out there that need to be invented that will give you the freedom you desire.  I promise you that there are opportunities out there that will let you live the lifestyle of your dreams, if you will just start challenging yourself by dreaming what you want your life to be like.

Most of us wish we could live life in a certain way, but we never challenge ourselves to start thinking about HOW we can live it in that way.

Focus on your life and what you want it to be like.  As you learn to do that, you will figure out a way to make it happen.

I would love to hear your thoughts, please share them below.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

What Makes You Happy?

"I wish I was happier...," "If only I was happier, then____ (fill in the blank)"

Do either of the above sound familiar?  Have you ever heard friends, family, co-workers, or yourself say either of these phrases or something similar?

I know I sure have!

Happiness is something we all want yet it seems to be so elusive for so many.

The ironic part of happiness is that it is available anywhere, at anytime, and is unlimited in the amount of it you can have.

How is that so?

Well, put simply, happiness isn't a thing, it is a state of mind.  Things can stimulate our brain to produce "happy chemical's,"  things like images of puppies playing, little kids trying to walk, old people in love; are some universal images that conjure up the happy thoughts inside of us all.

We have the ability to be happy all the time.  We really do!  We just have to make it a point to train our mind to focus on and look for thoughts, things, ideas that make us feel happy vs. the opposite.

What makes you happy?

In the video below I discuss happiness and how to create it.

I hope it helps you bring more happiness into your life.

Carpe Diem,

 

Jesse

 

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Six Years Later...

My Dad died on Monday February 1st, 2010.

I had the good fortune to speak with my Dad on Sunday January 31st, 2010.

I say good fortune because looking back on that day six years later,  I feel like I won the lottery having had the opportunity to speak with him just one day before his passing.

My Dad and I did not talk regularly - I held onto childhood baggage that I allowed to keep me at a distance.  Our relationship was alright, which I recognize is much better than the relationships many kids have with their parents.

I am grateful for much of my time I had with him and I regret some of the opportunities I wasted.

Looking back I can recognize and appreciate both my Dad and I did the best with what we knew.  The last couple years our relationship had started to grow because we both had chosen to begin to grow as people.

I have shared quite a bit about my Dad in various other blogs and videos.  I do not want to make this post as much about the past as I want to make it about the present.

I know with 100% certainty that my Dad loved me and in the end that is what is most important.

As I type this I find myself reflecting on some of the most significant life lessons I have learned since my Dad's death.


1 - Say I love you when you get the chance:

Had I known my Dad was going to die I would have said I love you over and over until my voice stopped working.  There were 1000's of day to day opportunities I let pass me by because I always assumed there would be another chance.  Imagine the chance you have right now is your only chance... let people know that you love them as if this is your only chance to tell them

2 - Give your parents a chance... let them be proud of you.  Your baggage isn't worth depriving yourself of love

Only reason I spoke with my Dad on January 31st 2010 was because I had been in Haiti early that month helping out with the earthquake recovery efforts.  My Dad was so excited and proud of me that he had emailed me that week a very thoughtful note telling me so.  I realized I hadn't gotten back to him so I decided to call.

There were countless times over the years I did not allow my Dad to be my Dad, to love me, to be proud of me.  I had my walls up, I justified every ounce of emotional baggage I held onto... you know the drill.

The irony of it was I would always circle back to choosing to feel like my Dad didn't care, didn't love me, or wasn't proud of me, I was resentful because he didn't "love me" the way I wanted him to, or at the times I wanted him to.  So because he wasn't doing it "MY WAY" I deprived both myself and him of experiencing a closer connection.

3 - Make the effort

I can appreciate wanting others to put forth the effort or not wanting to be the one "Always" having to make the effort.  I have been there and I have done that.

Trust me when I say this: when the people you care about die, you will wish you had made the effort.

4 - Tomorrow isn't promised

A phrase said so many times it often sounds cliche, but it is so true.  Today millions of people did not wake up who went to sleep last night planning to wake up.  At this very moment, people are being killed, dying of diseases, meeting their end because of a tragic accident.

All we are guaranteed is right now.  Please treat this moment as the gift that it is.  Ask yourself, "If this moment was my last, what would make it meaningful?"  Whatever your answer is, please do that.

5 - Forgive

Forgiveness is a biological gift we have all been given.  Tragically so many of us choose to never unwrap it.  Your life will only improve, the meaning of your life will only deepen, the love you experience will only grow when you forgive.

6 - Choose Love

No one ever said it would be easy and in a world where "being right," and someone else "being wrong" is sadly often valued in the moment more than love; love can be a challenge.

Send love towards others and most importantly choose to love yourself.  You are the one 24-7 relationship you will always have.

Nurture you, love you, and then love yourself some more.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge