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Sunday, October 8, 2017

Five Ways to Fight Feelings of Failure

Feelings of Failure Will Fuck You Up!

Now that we got that out of the way lets dive in.

I opened with a strong statement because this is not something to pussy foot around on. Failure, specifically our perception of it and the inevitable feelings that come with "THAT" perception, can really "F" things up if something is not done about it.

Failure is one of the greatest universal fears.

Whether it is failure in a relationship, failure at work, failure at money, failure with health, failure at winning the game, or/and failure in life... perhaps more than anything else, the fear of failure keeps people frozen and prevents the transformation of ordinary to extraordinary.

Speaking from personal experience, the fear of failure has been the source of more sleepless nights, more waking up with my heart racing, more self deprecating feelings, and more cold sweats than just about anything else.

If you have spent anytime wading in the failure pool you know that it is not a place you want to spend anymore time in (been there, done that, don't need the postcard). To help you out, here are five ways to fight feelings of failure.

#1 Exercise

What positive benefit about exercise have you not heard yet? It's good for virtually everything and fighting off feelings of failure is at the top of this list. Not only does it produce good feeling chemicals like endorphin's, engaging in it helps clear your mind, distracting you from the thoughts that feed feelings of failure, and at the end of it all you get a sense of accomplishment.

#2 Shift Perspective

We feed feelings of failure by focusing on a couple key things that we use as fuel for our feelings. Shift your perspective away from this to something you have done well.  Or, even better, shift your perspective outside of yourself to someone or something else.  This might be the perfect time to reflect on the one time you helped that friend who later came back and said that your kindness changed her life.

#3 Focus on Gratitude

You, I, and everyone else have so much to be grateful for. Everyday there are 1000's of things that have to go right just for us to stay alive.  Often when we are self consuming with feeling of failure we miss all that is going right all the time around us.  The roof over you head, the air in your lungs, your eyes and being able to read this (if any of those were gone, you may be willing to trade in some feelings of failure to have them back).

#4 Talk it out

If we do not express what is on our mind and heart then we will depress it.  The trash can can only hold so much before it starts to overflow.  Which is exactly why making it a regular habit of emptying out what's inside (the thoughts you are thinking and the feelings you are feeling) is imperative.  Often just having an ear to listen or some advice from a friend, a family member, or guidance from someone like a life coach, can be just what you need to get back on track.

#5 Analyze your Successes

It has been said that success leaves clues and if you are willing to go back and examine your successes you may very well find those bread crumbs of clues that map out exactly what you need to do to replicate the success. Everyone has done something that they can call a success. What separates those who can replicate it is they become students of their success and find those key actions they took to do it again.

I encourage you to really dig in and play around with these five ways to fight feelings of failure.  Doing so can radically transform your life.

Any questions, please leave them in the comments below.

If you want to dive deeper into this and trade in your feelings of failure for the success you desire, click this link to set up a strategy session with me.

Carpe Diem,



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