The Power of Future Sight

I was speaking with a client a couple days ago. We were in the midst of talking about some of her goals as we had just finished up removing the mental and emotional obstructions to those goals.

I'm in mid tangent (as I sometimes find myself in) when she stops me and asked me arguably the best question I have heard all week:

"Why are people sometimes more committed to talking themselves out of solutions to their problems/challenges than they are committed to finding answers and acting on them?"

Good question, right?

It came up because she is someone who we have spoken about working together a couple times over this year and there was always "something," that kept her from beginning.

"I can't speak for everyone," I told her, "but what I see with most people is that people get so absorbed in their stories about why things are the way they are and how they can't be any different that they are unwilling to allow themselves the gift of future sight."

"What do you mean by future sight?" she asked.

"Future sight is when a person is so committed to making their future brighter: more successful, happy, & fulfilling, than their now, that they are willing to look beyond their problems and create a vision of how life can be."

Unfortunately, Future Sight is not taught in most schools nor is it practiced in most households.

What we get is something drastically different... a "things are as they are," type of an education as to how life will unfold.

Many of us grow up believing things are the way they are and that if we are not naturally smart, confident, courageous, positive, happy, etc... then we can never be those things. Instead, we have to settle for living life with what we have vs creating what we want.

Nothing can be further from the truth.

Walt Disney once said, "If you can dream it you can do it."

Future Sight is your dream. If you limit your dreams you limit what you can experience now and in the future.

If you allow yourself to expand your dreams then the possibility for your future expands too.

You are a born dreamer.

Something to help you get started:

Grab a pen and a piece of paper.

Set a timer on your phone or watch for 5 minutes.

For the next 5 minutes (you can't stop) write down everything you want for your future completely independent of your perceived limitations in the present.

Ex: If you want to be a millionaire, but are in debt right now, write down "Be a millionaire." The exercise is not meant to focus on now, it is meant to allow you to take a gander at a yet to be determined future and give you a glimpse into what's possible.

Once your five minutes are up, pick 3 - 5 of the things that you want to focus on immediately. These can be short-term goals, things you think are more doable, or the ones that emotionally resonate with you the most.

Write them on a separate piece of paper then ask yourself: "Who, What, Where, When, Why,"

"Who do I know that can help me with this?"

Ex: friends, family member, mentor, someone you know or do not know online, a coach, a teacher, etc...

"What do I need to do to begin to accomplish this?"

Ex: Time, an accountability buddy, resources, etc...

"Where do I need to focus my time and energy right now to achieve this?"

Ex: Focus needs to be on finding someone to mentor me through the process.

"When will I accomplish this by?"

Ex: March 29th, 2018

"Why is this important to me?"

Ex: Because I want to be an example to my children about how amazing life can be when you decide that you deserve an amazing life.

Lastly, decide on what your first step forward will be and then the next one after that and take action, Immediately, on that first step.

Ex: Contact the local adult ed program and sign up for the finance class.

You do not need to pay a Miss Cleo type person to see into the future for you were born with the gift of Future Sight.

You can begin to use it right now and make your future as bright as you wish.

It is your destiny!

Any questions at all, please leave them in the comments below.

If you want to share your answers to the above, please do so.

I believe in you.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

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Where Do You Look for and How do You Find Hope?

During my brainstorming session of what I wanted to write about today I came across a video that had no words, only music. The video told a visual story of an underdog rising above the perennial favorite to win the competition the two were engaged in.

It was from this video that I heard the words "people are always looking for hope," speak as clear as day in the depths of my unconscious mind.

Myself being one who advocates the trusting of one's intuition to my clients as well as a continued dedication to improve my own acting on my silent voice - I'm going with this message with the belief that it will connect with exactly who it is meant to.

I once gave a talk on suicide awareness/prevention and one of the key points of that talk was the power of hope - that hope cannot only change lives, it can save them too.

Aside from love, I'm not sure any other emotion has the power that hope does. It can change lives, create lives, pick us up from our darkest places, and inspire us to reach higher than we have ever reached before.

Hope can be the fuel for eradicating diseases (look at the recent work done with polio) and it can inspire the discovery to some of the biggest questions we have (look at Elon Musk's pledge to get to Mars in the next several years).

We know how powerful hope is, how important it is to our overall quality of life, so then why is it sometimes so hard for us to find it?

The short answer of that is: Life.

Life can be extremely hard at times and when we lose our way or something derails us on our journey it can be tough to get going again. This process is made all the more difficult by the stories we tell ourselves and to anyone who will listen.

These stories evolve from "what happened," into "what happened + the impossibility of the future we face." It is in the "impossibility" that hope disappears for the story teller and becomes seemingly elusive.

An example of this "impossibility" in action:

Jane dates Mark then Mark cheats on her. Jane then decides that she cannot risk loving again because ALL men are cheaters.

Jane has closed off her future because she has allowed her pain to paint a picture of a dismal future - a future where all men are cheaters like Mark and Mark hurts Jane.

Here's another example:

Jane dates and marries Mark. They live a happy life with a happy family until suddenly, one day, without warning, Mark dies. Jane is now a widow. Jane feels pain and loss unlike she has ever felt before. Breathing takes effort and eating seems impossible at times. Someone tells Jane that she is depressed, so Jane becomes "Depressed." As her Depression Jane sees a future only through the lens of "no Mark" and a future of "no Mark," = depressing.

Obviously these are condensed down examples and life rarely happens as neat and tidy as I have presented them here. When we experience loss and with it a loss of hope, there are often dozens of other things, people, factors that contribute to the story we tell that limits our hope.

Which leads us to: Where should one look for hope and how should they go about finding it?

The best place to look for hope when you feel an absence of it, is look outward, look to the external world for hope. Look at the smile on a newborn baby, look at the excitement of a dog before they go for their walk, look at the carefree laughter of a child. Look at nature and you will see hope in the form of the blade of grass breaking through the sidewalk, or the first flower of spring to bloom. You will see examples of hope wherever you look.

Finding hope is different. To find hope means one must find hope within themselves. How do you do that when the feeling of hope is absent?

It begins with changing your story by deleting the impossibly hopeless future and rewriting it to allow space for possibility.

Lets go back to Jane to see an example of what I am saying.

When Jane just dated Mark and Mark cheated on her, Jane decided that she could not risk loving again because ALL men are cheaters?

What if Jane changed her story to something like:

"What happened with Mark is heartbreaking and it has made me all the more aware of the type of man I want to date. I know my best friend Sally is married to Jeff who is the most amazing man ever. I am committed to only dating men that embody characteristics similar to Jeff."

In this new story their is the acknowledgement of the pain, but what's different now, is that the future is no longer impossible and Jane's pain has a purpose - a purpose to find someone like Jeff.

In our other example where Jane and Mark were married then Mark died suddenly, what if Jane's story went something more like this:

"Mark was the love of my life and he brought me so much happiness and joy. My heart is broken right now, but I am committed to picking up the pieces one by one because I know Mark would want me to do that. I know Mark would want me to find my happiness again for myself and for our children. I am committed to finding my happiness because by doing so I will be loving Mark and honoring what I know in my heart his wishes for me are."

Again Jane is acknowledging her pain, but she has changed her story to give her pain a purpose (honoring Mark by finding her happiness).

Stories are powerful - they have been how we have passed human history from generation to generation. The stories we tell ourselves are the most powerful.

Hope exists everywhere, but to see it, to find it, and to experience it, the hopeless must change their story.

If you are still reading this, my guess is that you are seeking hope in some way in your life. You may not be seeking it in the same way as Jane. Perhaps you are seeking it for your health, for your self confidence, or your career. Whatever the case may be hope is never lost and it is always there waiting to be found by you.

The discovery begins with the story you tell yourself and about yourself.

Good news is: You are the author of your story. This means you hold the pen that will write your future.

Use it to write a future filled with hope.

Carpe Diem and With Love,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Honoring Those You Have Lost

If you live you will lose - as they say two things you can be certain about are death and taxes.

Loss can be one of the most devastating and life altering events you will ever go through. It can rock you to your core and the aftermath of it could derail your life, permanently, if you do not deliberately take steps to get back on track and move forward after your loss.

The challenge of course is "how." How do you do that after you have lost someone you love so deeply.

How?


In the last few years I have lost three very important people in my life: one of my best friends to suicide, my Dad unexpectedly two weeks after being declared cancer free (you can read those stories here) and my best friend to a car crash.

Each of these deaths came with additional life struggles... relationships ending, struggling to "fit in," unmotivated, uninspired, etc...

Through all this, I kept coming back to the question of "how?" How do you move forward after loss?  How do you move forward to not merely exist, but to truly live?  How do you move forward to live a happy and fulfilling life?

Having gone through the challenge of loss myself, as well as with numerous clients from all over the world what I have found to be most effective in doing the above is deciding on a path that honors your loved one and traveling it.

When we allow ourselves to begin to live a life to honor those we have lost, it can give our lives a renewed sense of meaning and purpose.  Two vital ingredients to a fulfilling life.

Recently I shared a video of an event I have hosted for the last three years... it is part of an ongoing mission to live my life in a way that honors my best friend.  Every year, on his birthday, people take a photo of a sunrise and/or sunset and share it on social media.  I take several of the photos and put them together in a video which you can see below.

If you are reading this and you are at a time in your life where you find yourself struggling with loss, I encourage you to look within and ask yourself, "how can I begin to live my life to honor who I have lost?"

Your answer may present the meaning and purpose you seek.

Carpe Diem and with Love,

Jesse

P.S. I also lovingly invite you to check out my "Healing from Loss" program You can learn all about it by clicking here.

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

How to Heal From The Heart Break of Loss

Hi there!

Hope this blog finds you enjoying your day and smiling wherever you are in the world.

I believe a smile is one of the most beautiful expressions we humans have been gifted with.  A smile says so much and each day we are gifted with 24 hours of opportunity to share and express our smiles.

Sadly, so many people do not smile, and for many of them the reason why is because they are handicapped in life by the pain of a loss they endured.

Having struggled through several painful losses of my own, I know, first hand, just how life altering and devastating those losses can be.

Over the years I have had the honor of helping over 4,000 people from all over the world live happier and more fulfilling lives.  Without fail, one of the biggest obstacles I would see people up against, the source of so many of them being "stuck" in life, was loss.

Loss is an inevitable part of life and while we cannot technically prevent that from happening, what we can do is prevent so many beautiful people from suffering so unnecessarily from the ongoing pain of loss.

Recently I hosted a talk on "How to Heal From The Heart Break of Loss," I felt it may be of value to you so here it is.

This talk is intended for those of you who have lost, or know someone who has lost and is struggling with their loss and you want to help them.

My hope is that this video helps you heal and move forward in life.

If you connected with it and would like to take the next step by taking "Healing From Loss," you can sign up here.

It would be my honor to help you Heal From Your Loss.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com/healing-from-loss/

My Dad was Not the Best Dad, Which Made him The Best Dad for Me.

A few days ago it was, what would have been, my Dad's 65th birthday.  Sadly he is no longer physically present to celebrate it as my Dad died very suddenly on February 1st 2010.

The irony, (if you can have irony in death,) was that just two weeks prior to my Dad's passing, he was told by his doctor that he was officially a cancer survivor.

After an over two year battle with colon cancer, my Dad had beat it and was told by his doctor that he was in full remission and had has entire life ahead to look forward to.

My Dad had won a hard fought battle and for his efforts his rewarded with the promise of time.

Time to do all the things he had always wanted to do.

Time to make his priorities a priority.

Time to say I love you more.

Time to forgive and let go of past pain.

Time to travel and see the world.

Time to laugh with friends and connect with family.

Time to live life with a renewed appreciation after having been so close to death.

My Dad was promised, and given, time.... two weeks of it.

Not what he, I, or anyone else assumed, but that is what happened.

On his birthday I took a few moments to reflect on my Dad and what his death has meant to my life, as well as what his legacy is to me.

I recorded these thoughts so I could share them with You.

When I initially shared the video last week on Facebook I got an email from someone asking me "How can you open up and share the way you do."

It is certainly not easy to do so and there are a lot of emotions that come up during the process of sharing.  I do share because with all my heart, I believe what I have experienced and what I have learned from those experiences is meant to be shared.  I feel it would be wrong of me to keep what I have to offer and the insights I have gained locked away - hidden from others.

It is my deepest hope that you are able to find value in what I share and perhaps my words are able to help some of you who are dealing with a significant loss of your own.

Enjoy the pics (they are all of my Dad and I),

Carpe Diem,

Jesse
http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge