Honoring Those You Have Lost

If you live you will lose - as they say two things you can be certain about are death and taxes.

Loss can be one of the most devastating and life altering events you will ever go through. It can rock you to your core and the aftermath of it could derail your life, permanently, if you do not deliberately take steps to get back on track and move forward after your loss.

The challenge of course is "how." How do you do that after you have lost someone you love so deeply.

How?


In the last few years I have lost three very important people in my life: one of my best friends to suicide, my Dad unexpectedly two weeks after being declared cancer free (you can read those stories here) and my best friend to a car crash.

Each of these deaths came with additional life struggles... relationships ending, struggling to "fit in," unmotivated, uninspired, etc...

Through all this, I kept coming back to the question of "how?" How do you move forward after loss?  How do you move forward to not merely exist, but to truly live?  How do you move forward to live a happy and fulfilling life?

Having gone through the challenge of loss myself, as well as with numerous clients from all over the world what I have found to be most effective in doing the above is deciding on a path that honors your loved one and traveling it.

When we allow ourselves to begin to live a life to honor those we have lost, it can give our lives a renewed sense of meaning and purpose.  Two vital ingredients to a fulfilling life.

Recently I shared a video of an event I have hosted for the last three years... it is part of an ongoing mission to live my life in a way that honors my best friend.  Every year, on his birthday, people take a photo of a sunrise and/or sunset and share it on social media.  I take several of the photos and put them together in a video which you can see below.

If you are reading this and you are at a time in your life where you find yourself struggling with loss, I encourage you to look within and ask yourself, "how can I begin to live my life to honor who I have lost?"

Your answer may present the meaning and purpose you seek.

Carpe Diem and with Love,

Jesse

P.S. I also lovingly invite you to check out my "Healing from Loss" program You can learn all about it by clicking here.

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Sunrise and Sunset Around the World Day 2016

For the last several years I have hosted an event called "International Sunrise and Sunset Around the World Day."

Each year 1000's of people from all over the world share a picture of the sunrise and/or sunset from wherever they are.  The event is amazing because there is such a strong sense of community and connection shared by the participants.

In 2010 my best friend Paul, created a charity called Reach Out WorldWide (ROWW), to help people affected by natural disasters.  You can learn all about ROWW by clicking here.

Sadly, in late 2013, Paul was killed.  I was moved to do something that would both honor him and help raise money for Reach Out WorldWide.

International Sunrise and Sunset Around the World Day was moved to its' permanent home on September 12th and became a birthday celebration for Paul along with a fundraiser for ROWW.

I am proud to report that our global efforts last year resulted in more than 3,000 sunrise and sunset photos being shared along with well over $50,000 being raised for Reach Out WorldWide.

If you did not see last year's video, click here.

On Monday September 12th, I'll be hosting this amazing event again and I would love for you to be a part of it

Watch the video to learn more and then click the link below to access the facebook page for the event.

Click here to access the facebook event page.

I am looking forward to sharing a special day with you on Monday September 12th.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

P.S.

Reminder this Saturday (September 12th) is International Sunrise and Sunset Around the World Day, a fundraiser for Reach Out WorldWide.  You can learn all about it here.

International Sunrise & Sunset Day 2015

When I did the 1 Year 1000 Challenge, hands down my favorite of the over 1000 challenges/experiences I did that year, was an event I called International Sunrise and Sunset Day.



The 1000 Challenge community had grown to several thousand around the world.  I had the idea that it would be really cool if on one day, we all shared the sunrise and sunset together. 

The result was amazing! 100's of people from all over the world participated.  You can see that first video by clicking here.



In late 2013 my best friend was tragically killed. Being that he was a well known public figure, the world talked about him, a lot. 


As his birthday approached in 2014, I wanted to do something that would honor him for the man he was/is and not his job.  I decided to move International Sunrise and Sunset day to his birthday and have it be a celebration day and fundraiser for the his charity Reach Out World Wide.

The day was amazing!  Over $50,000 was raised and more than 3,000 people participated in the event.


This year I recently hosted the event.  Again over 3,000 people participated with 10's of 1000's of dollars being raised for Reach Out World Wide.




As I did in years past, I put a video together to commemorate the day which I have shared below.  I hope that when you watch the video, you take the message to heart and it adds an enormous amount of love and value to your life.

2015 Sunrise Sunset Day video

International Sunrise & Sunset Day is such a special event to me.  Not only does it mean a lot being able to honor my friend, I love the experience of so many people from all over the world coming together to share their sunrise and sunset. 

Even though we live miles a part, we are all neighbors here on Earth.  It was a joy watching the sunrise and sunset with You, neighbor.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

P.S.

Did you participate?  What did you learn from the video?

P.P.S

The Sunrise and Sunset photo albums will be posted to the 1 Year 1000 Challenge page this week.

The Inside Scoop on Jesse Brisendine part 3

Well the time has arrived, part 3, the conclusion of Macie's guest blog about me.  Have you all enjoyed it?  I know I certainly have.  I felt all sorts of feelings when Macie and I first spoke of this idea.  I felt shy, I felt naked, I felt some trepidation, and when I read what Macie wrote, I still felt those things, but more than anything, I felt love and loved.  Not only that but reading the overwhelmingly positive response's and comments from all of you has only furthered the love I have been feeling.  This experience has been an amazing one.

Ok, I know you are eagerly awaiting the conclusion of Macie's guest blog, but before we get to that a couple quick updates:

Mark your calendars - Wednesday February 11th at 4:30pm PST will be our next Monthly Motivation Youtube chat.  The topic will be "Love."  To view the live chat, click here

We had some really significant win's this week in the Zero Limits Mastermind - One member got a new job and another went back to school and earned a scholarship to pay for her education.  What the ZLM members are doing is absolutely inspiring.  To learn more about ZLM and how you can become a member, click here.

Lastly, the 28 Day Flat Belly Challenge wraps up today.  There was an awesome group of participants.  I am excited to share with you all the final results as well as the winner who I will highlight in this weeks "Success Story" post on the 1 Year 1000 Challenge facebook page.

Ok, onto Macie:

If you haven't read parts 1 & 2 you are going to want to read them first.  Click here to read part1 and here to read part 2

Jesse is a 6'4” body builder type with bubbling muscles and clear skin; he works out pretty much every day (often twice a day) and brings his own protein powder to the gym. But he's sensitive. People can't seem to latch on to that easily either.

So who is Jesse Brisendine? Is he the man in the pictures that you see on facebook? The brooding specimen that fits emotion, humor, and humility into one, good-looking package? Sure. He's that guy. But he has also been sullen and dark and lifeless. His depression after Gabe's death, and then his dad's inspired H.E.E.A.L., which Jesse has always fully supported, and it was born from that dark period in his life when I had no idea how to pull him out of it. Jesse Brisendine is honest. He is goofy. He has been the voice of reason in my sobriety of four years, and he has been the pouting face after I miraculously beat him in mini golf. He is, and has always been, silly.

<www.heealsb.org>

Right before Jesse lost his dad, he took a trip to Haiti with Paul. It was his first major outing after Gabe's death. It was also right around his birthday, which Jesse has always pretended not to exist, even though I know he secretly loves the compassion and meaning that gets flung at him on that day. I wrote Paul a letter that day. The day they were leaving. I thanked him for helping my friend. Not for being Paul Walker. But for being Jesse's confidant. Jesse wrote me saying they were both in the car to the airport sobbing over the letter. Yes. Boys cry.

Losing Paul seemed like the absolute impossible, and I watched Jesse become a more level-headed griever, if there is such a thing. I hate that he can even be that, but I'm also thankful that he hasn't lost hope. That's really who he is. Cautiously hopeful. He isn't fearless. He is scared, just like you and me. He's scared of love, of failure, and of hurt. He is ambitious and driven, but he is often tired and lonely. He is the healthiest man at times, but he is also my partner in crime for fabulous displays of frozen yogurt and toppings. He prides himself on how little sleep he can get by on, (but falls asleep within the first 20 minutes of movies), he works hard to better himself in every aspect, and he is my absolute favorite person to gossip with. He has faults and flaws just like anyone else, but he is the first to go about bettering himself and basking in who he is. He has an outstanding moral compass.

Sometimes I read the articles that Jesse writes and ponder a little bit. I'll even find myself saying, “ya that's kind of how he felt.” Or, “I guess it was like that.” I pick it apart. Try and find the truth that is hiding between the lines. But that's not really what's happening. He isn't hiding the truth. He is just uncovering it at his own pace. He told all of us at Gabe's funeral that we should hug each other and tell each other we love you every day. He said it's important and it was how Gabe was. I've been in serious relationships with men for probably 85% of the time I've known Jesse. Yet his hugs and “I love yous” have always been the most genuine. That is not to discount the fine suitors I have flocked to, but it is to show some perspective on the grandiose presence of Jesse Brisendine's love. Maybe it's because I thought there was a time when he would never feel positive emotion again. Maybe it's because our trust has never truly been questioned. All I know is that he spoke the truth at that funeral, and he has stuck to his word. That's a pretty bold and badass move to make. I've unfortunately been to my fair share of funerals, and I have come to see them as the place where falsified promises are made out of shock and grief, but where bad habits brood, and grudges fail to dissipate. You can call it pessimism, but I'm just saying what I'm thinking. Jesse defied these generalizations.

This man is not just the one you see online. I mean, he is that man, yes, but he's a real human. We have jumped out of planes together, belted our lungs out to “Livin' on a Prayer” on karaoke night, and played makeshift laser tag in the garage. One time I hid in his closet for 45 minutes on Friday the 13^th to scare the shit out of him, and he was inches away from punching me in the face out of sheer terror. His screams were priceless. We've ridden roller coasters (he's terrified), taken road trips, and thrown parties. We have this high five that we do. Jesse is about a foot taller than me, so he always holds his hand way up high and then we both jump at the same time for righteous contact. It's pretty awesome. Although one time the contact was so intense that I ended up flashing a garage-full of people sprawled on my back. It happens.

Jesse is not perfect. We wouldn't be friends if he was. He has painfully awkward dance moves and he can stink up a room like no one I know. He wears the same 3 tank tops to work out in all the time, and after he washes the dishes he runs his gross hands all through his beard. I never understood that. Once in a while he holds things in and it can come off as passive aggressive, and every now and then he'll text the ex. But he is a flaw forgiver too. He excuses my flannel dog pajamas, calls my constant fashion expression “colorful” instead of childish, and he has yet to exploit that whole I-shit-my-pants incident. He deserves your respect and your commitment to him.

You need Jesse Brisendine. You need a place to feel safe and to explore your insecurities, vulnerabilities, and question marks. And, truthfully, I need Jesse Brisendine for very similar reasons. I laugh at people who say that boys and girls can never be “just friends.” They're right to some extent I guess. Jesse can never be just a friend. That word doesn't do our relationship justice. It's not every day a young man you barely know chases down Vegas workers to find some girl in the dead of the afternoon just because he has a bad feeling. We were destined for life-long togetherness from the start. The truth is, I'm proud of Jesse for inspiring you. I'm proud of him for having these followers, these fans, and this life that he has truly always been after. He has worked hard and earned it. You are important. You are evidence that Jesse's purpose goes beyond our little bubble here. But I will always be on the inside. I will always need just a little bit differently.

And I'll tell you a secret. Jesse needs us too.


Macie's Bio:

Macie is your average Feminist Studies and Exercise and Sports Science major from UCSB. By average, she means she's a walking contradiction. She loves all things sports and competition, and she is also a passionate philanthropist and activist. Most important, she is a nerd at heart. Macie coaches and runs character development programs from high school girls soccer players, and she continuously pursues her favorite activity - writing. Macie's various, but important passions include her non-profit organization, H.E.E.A.L. (Hope through Exercise, Energy, and Art for Life), which serves to fund other organizations who promote and provide exercise and art outlets (www.heealsb.org). They also include her podcast, Dropping the F Bomb (www.droppingthefbomb.org), which delves into modern-day feminism with a little bit of an attitude, and her blog, Lifestyle of the Torn and Triad, which follows her journey through her 3rd knee surgery in her 20s (http://lifestyleofthetornandtriad.weebly.com/blog). Macie will also be starting as a contributor for Elite Daily (www.elitedaily.com).

Jesse here:

Well folks, there you have it.  What did you think of Macie's guest blog?  Did you enjoy it? What are some key take aways you got out of it?  Would you like to see more blog's like this in the future?  I would love to hear what you think (and I know Macie will too) please leave a comment or three below.

Also if you found value or enjoyment in this, please share it with a friend.  Your shares help me to help more people.

I wanted to add one final comment... I do not believe in coincidences.  It was five years ago today (February 1st) that my Dad died.  Macie and I had just left a meeting at the University of California Santa Barbara (UCSB) and had gotten into our respective cars.  I saw my Mom had called and had a horrible feeling.  When I called her back and she told me what happened, I called Macie who had just driven off. 

Macie nor I planned the timing of this to work out that way.  It has been a very special gift, one that I will always treasure.

Thank You for reading, Thank You for your ongoing support, and Thank You for being You. I am grateful for You.

Enjoy the pics,

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

www.jessebrisendine.com
www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

One Year Later... Remembering My Best Friend

Hi All,

With this being the one year anniversary of my friend Paul's passing, I wanted to say a few words. I will keep the text brief since I said pretty much everything I want to say in the video below.

I want to be clear: I choose to be happy, I work hard at it every day, and I also have my own personal struggles; just like you. I am human and when I feel, I feel very very deeply.  Happiness, Joy, Love, Laughter, Sadness, Frustration, etc... I feel all of it and I feel it all at equally deep levels when emotions are appropriate.

This last year has been a hard one.  I lost the two people I was closest to in my day to day life.  One of them, Paul, died a year ago today.


One thing I forgot to mention in the video is that Paul, in this last year, has taught me a great deal of patience. It is hard to lose someone you love, it is even harder when that person is someone the whole world wants to talk about. This last year there have been many times I have gotten pissed off and angry to the point where I have wanted to say or do something that is out of character for me.

Each time I feel my blood start to boil I take a breath and hear Paul's voice, "Jesse this is not you."

There have been times this last year I have not wanted to be me, but Paul has always reminded me to be me because me being me is what our friendship has been built on.  Me being me and him being Paul, not the actor, not the movie star, just Paul.

My personal life is very similar to all of yours.  It is one that is filled with all that comes with living a complete life: Love, Loss, Happiness, Sadness, Laughter, Hurt, Joy, etc...

My life is far from perfect and I do not want to mislead any of you in thinking that it is, nor would I want it that way.  The "hard stuff" of life does not happen to make our lives become hard.  The hard stuff happens to give us an opportunity to grow, to learn, and to make our lives better.

I hope you find value in this video as the message is one I believe in with all my heart.  If you do find value please share it with someone.  Here is a link to share: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBrn9GtJF0U&list=UUJnymgVGKg2WQSv-wXotRdA

I have also included links to donate to ROWW.  The following link goes to the fundraising page that I started for Paul's birthday.  It is my goal to raise $1,000,000 for Reach Out World Wide. I believe that we can reach that goal. Please donate by clicking here or using the link below.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

www.jessebrisendine.com
www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge


Here is the link to donate to ROWW: https://donate.roww.org/fundraise?fcid=339063

Here is the link to the Sunrise/Sunset video from Paul's birthday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbAek5oTPdc&list=UUJnymgVGKg2WQSv-wXotRdA

Here is a link to the Facebook photo album on the 1 Year 1000 Challenge page that has all your photos from those of you who sent in ROWW donation confirmation pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.967604023266338.1073741835.187115434648538&type=3

International Sunrise Sunset and Reach Out World Wide Fundraiser Update

Well I have some news...

I still have not come close to downloading all the Sunrise, Sunset, and ROWW donation confirmation pictures yet.  There are 1000's of them.   The process of downloading them all is overwhelming at times.  One minute I will be smiling, the next I will be updating my "places to travel list," and then the next I may be crying and having to step away because wounds that have not fully healed began to hurt.

I will keep this blog brief as I still have a couple hours of downloading I want to try to get in before bed time.

Sunrise/Sunset numbers:  All seven continents, even Antarctica, submitted pictures!!  I don't know if I have ever said "So Fucking Cool!!" out loud as loudly as I did when I saw the Antarctic picture pop up.

I have seen pictures from at least 50 countries, but I am pretty sure there are many more than that.  My goal is to have a final count by the end of the week.

Here in the USA it looks like we got a picture from every State!!  Way to go!! :)

Amazing!!

As for the Reach Out World Wide fundraiser:  Paul once told me, "It takes about $50,000 to fund one deployment."  I am proud to say that because of our efforts we have raised almost exactly $50,000 to date.  On the official donor page (see picture below,) because of the donations of nearly 1,300 people we have raised $46,000!!!

I know many of you bought merchandise in lieu of direct donations.  I also know that many of you donated directly through Reach Out World Wide vs using the donor page (I have received many emails explaining this).  So I am willing to bet that our fundraising efforts came in just about $50,000, enough to fund a future Reach Out World Wide deployment!!  How amazing is this!

None of this would have been possible without all of you.  Please, do me a favor and allow yourself to soak this in for a moment: because of You, next time a natural disaster happens and Reach Out World Wide is deployed to help, You have made that possible.  The kids who need medicine are going to get medicine because of You.  The person who is trapped will get rescued because of You.  

This is a prime example of what can be accomplished if like minded people come together to work for a greater good.  If we can accomplish this now, imagine what we can do over the next year?  After all we still have some work to do to reach our goal of One Million.  Keep sharing the link and keep getting people involved.

With all my heart I thank you all for making this happen. 

Being a part of this has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  Stay tuned for the Sunrise Sunset album as well as video in the next couple weeks.

You are amazing.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse 

https://donate.roww.org/fundraise?fcid=339063

Happy Birthday Paul Walker & Reach Out World Wide Fundraiser

HI!!!

We are just a couple days away from International Sunrise/Sunset Day aka Happy Birthday Paul aka One Million for ROWW day!

I am really excited for the big event.

As a follow up to last weeks video/blog,  I recorded this video that shares some of my experiences about Reach Out World Wide's first trip to Haiti as well as Paul's commitment to helping people.

To see the photo of Paul I mentioned in the video, click here to go to the Reach Out World Wide Haiti page.

Earlier this year I wrote a blog recounting more about my trip to Haiti.  If you would like to read that blog, please click here.

Friday is the big day.  Remember to post all photos directly to the 1 Year 1000 Challenge Facebook page.

The Goals:  1 Million dollars raised for Reach Out World Wide, A photo of a Sunrise and or Sunset taken on September 12th, from 100 Countries.

This will happen because you all are making it happen by sharing and promoting the event.  I thank you all for all you have done thus far.  We are on the final push... please keep spreading the word.

I look forward to spending Friday with you.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

https://m.facebook.com/events/1468415000077566?acontext=%7B%22ref%22%3A22%7D&aref=22&ref=bookmark

Suggested hashtags: #InternationalSunriseSunsetDay #1Year1000Challenge #HappyBirthdayPW

https://donate.roww.org/fundraise?fcid=339063

Suggested hashtags: #HappyBirthdayPW #ROWW #OneMillionForROWW

Honoring a Friend... Happy 41st Birthday Paul

Hi all,

The blog is going to be switched up a little bit these next two weeks so that I can use it to communicate with all of you about the up and coming International Sunrise/Sunset around the world event.

As many of you know, my best friend was killed in a car accident late last year.  I wanted to do something special to honor him and celebrate what would have been his 41st birthday on September 12th.

What I have done is organize an event that has two parts to it.  You can view the event information in its entirety by clicking here.

This event means so much to me and I wanted to try to convey just how important it is to me so I recorded this video to share with you all.

I hope that the video motivates you to take part in Paul's birthday celebration on Friday, September 12th, 2014.

Paul Walker was my best friend.  I miss him everyday... this is one small gesture that I feel will help keep a part of him alive.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

p.s. please share the event info and video with your friends and family.  I need all of you to reach the goals I have set.

To view the event on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/events/1468415000077566?acontext=%7B%22ref%22%3A22%7D&aref=22&ref=bookmark

Suggested hashtags: #InternationalSunriseSunsetDay #1Year1000Challenge #HappyBirthdayPW

To donate to Reach Out World Wide, use this link: https://donate.roww.org/fundraise?fcid=339063

Suggested hashtags: #HappyBirthdayPW #ROWW #ISupportROWW #DonateToROWW

Swimming with Sharks a very Special Trip

Hi All,

I hope this blog finds you smiling and happy.  If that is not the case, I hope that by the end of this blog you will have smiled at least once, and experienced a few happy thoughts and feelings. 

When I was 5 or 6 years old (or around this age) I saw the movie "Jaws" for the first time.  It literally scared the shit out of me.

No joke, by the time the movie got to the point where Jaws eats the guy in the little jetty area in front of Chief Brody's kids, I was in the bathroom crapping uncontrollable with freight.  

Also around this time, the first season of "Baywatch"had made it to TV.  Towards the end of the season one of the lifeguards, Jill, was killed in a shark attack.  I vividly remember sitting on the toilet, crying, saying "Jill why did you have to die?"

After these two experiences I was terrified to get near the ocean, go into the river, or even get into a swimming pool.  I would still go into pools and the river, but not before nearly hyperventilating and psyching myself up telling myself "it is ok."  It took me moving to Santa Barbara to be able to finally get up the nerve to get into the Pacific Ocean.

At an early age I wanted to get past this fear.  My best friend growing up owned "Jaws," so every time I would have a sleepover at his house, I would watch the movie.  I can't begin to count how many times I stayed up late, while he slept, making myself sit through the movie, trying to get over my fear.  To date, by my best estimate, I have probably watched this movie well over 30 times. Haha

Several years ago I set out to start facing my physical fears.  I went skydiving, rode on some roller coasters... I faced all of them except for the sharks.

I actually had bought a ticket to go and do the shark dive in early 2010, but the earthquake in Haiti happened, and I decided going over there to help was a better and more important way to spend my time than going to the Bahamas to swim with the sharks.  The sharks would still be there.

Over the next four years I talked often about doing this trip, but the trip didn't happen because I didn't make it happen.  Instead life went on, time passed, and the trip remained in the back of my mind.

Beginning with the end of last year, the last several months of my personal life have been very challenging.  I lost the two people I was closest to: one killed in a tragic accident, the other to changing life needs. They were (and still very much are) the most prominent, important, and loved figures in my day to day life. 

A couple months ago I began talking with my good friend Steve about how I needed to change things up and do something to help me get back on track.

(Before I go any further let me be clear.  I am a happy person, and I have worked very hard to condition myself to experience daily happiness in my life.  With that being said when you experience losses in life that person's departure brings with it certain emotions, thoughts, etc... I am a firm believer in experiencing these thoughts and feelings as they are important in the grieving and healing process.  What is essential is that when we are experiencing them, we do not become them.  I think the worse thing a person can do for their own healing process it to lie to themselves and pretend like they are fine, etc... when at times they are not fine.)

Steve and I decided that the timing was right to plan on doing the scuba driving trip to Nassau, Bahamas, to dive with the sharks.  Steve's brother joined us.

The trip was an amazing experience for multiple reasons.  

The flight out there was one of the best.  I had two different flight attendants come up to me and tell me that Steve and I were the nicest people they had ever had on their flight.  I took this as quite a compliment considering how many people they must meet on a daily basis.  It just goes to show you, even when you may not be aware that it is being appreciated, kindness is always appreciated. :)

The diving was incredible.  The first dive I saw three or four sharks that were just hanging out following us around.  It was during this dive that I was able to fully appreciate the beauty of these creatures.  They did not care about me or any of the other divers down there.  They were just doing their thing, hanging out.  I had psyched myself up so much for this moment, the first encounter with the sharks and how scared I was going to be, that I surprised myself about how calm I was and appreciative of their beauty.

When it came time for the final dive of the trip I found myself humming the theme song to Jaws before jumping into the water... I try to keep things real hahaha. 

On the decent I could see several sharks nearby.  When the party got started there were no fewer then 20 -25 sharks swarming around us.  Never once was I scared, only once, (when a 6 + foot shark came within 8 inches of being nose to nose with me) was I nervous.  Instead I again found myself marveling at how amazingly majestic the sharks were and how they just could care less that myself, or anyone else, was down there.

The fear that had consumed most of my childhood and teenage years was non existent.  What was there instead were feelings of peace, tranquility, excitement, joy... HUH?  How do these emotions exist in a place where Fear is supposed to exist?  It doesn't make sense, or does it? ;)

Isn't it interesting that in life we spend so much time fearing something unknown, or something we think we are supposed to be afraid of.  Yet when the time comes to face it we find that what we once feared is really not that scary after all.  I had this same realization when skydiving. 

This trip was one filled with amazing experiences, heart to heart talks, lots of reflection, lots of remembering, lots of questions, lots of love, and a lot of self realizations, insights, and understandings.

When life challenges you, I encourage you to take some time to get away and clear your head and heart.  Treat yourself to an experience so unique and so new as it will help you to become more present to your own thoughts and feelings.  Presence leads to clarity, clarity leads to the emotions you need to feel, processing and feeling these emotions leads to them being freed, freeing these emotions leads to healing.

Thank you for experiencing my journey with me.  I am curious, how do you deal with loss both loss as the result of death and loss as the result of someone choosing a different path in life? If you feel comfortable, please share your thoughts in the comments below.  I would love to read your insights and ideas.

I hope you enjoy the pics

I promise I will get some video put together soon so you can see the sharks up close and personal. :)

Carpe Diem,

Jesse 

Something that made this trip extra special.  The place we dove at is called Stuarts Cove located in Nassau, Bahamas.  I knew about this place because Paul had told me about it.  He said he spent a lot of time here filming a movie and that the people at Stuarts Cove were some of the ones they worked with for the underwater shots.

Before I did the shark dive, I recognized Stuart and introduced myself, telling him we shared a mutual friend.  We chatted for five minutes or so and he shared with me some memories he had.

I had hoped in coming here that I would feel an added closeness to my friend at a time in my life where I wish more than anything I had him to talk to and get advice from about changes in my personal life.  Being down under the water, swimming with the sharks, I definitely felt that closeness.  It made the trip that much more special. :)

Please be Respectful

This blog comes with a disclaimer... Before you read any further, I want to remind you all that I am human, and as a human I experience similar emotions, have similar dreams, deal with similar frustrations, get upset, have highs and lows just like all of you.

As many of you know, five months ago my best friend was killed in a car accident.  Since he was a well known public figure, news of his death, and how he lived his life, swept across the world.

Millions of people have shared stories of what he meant to them, offered love and support to those his loss affected the deepest, and have shown amazing generosity in keeping his legacy alive by supporting his charity Reach Out World Wide. To those of you who have done this and continue to do so, no amount of thanks will ever be able to fully express the gratitude I feel towards you.  Thank You.

There is also a much smaller group of people that has used Paul's tragic passing as a "doorway," to try and claim a piece of him and acquire personal information about him.

The grieving process is hard no matter who you have lost. A different element of "hardness" is added to the grieving process when the person is a celebrity and the world wants to constantly talk about it. I do not fault people for some of the actions they have taken.  Sadly we live in a world where we are taught that what is going on in a famous persons life is more important than what is being done to bring about world peace and end famine. We also live in a  world that is driven by ratings and on that note I will simply say this: I hope you all live your lives and never have to experience seeing someone you love being exploited on TV for a ratings boost.

Last night I was at a BBQ and a guy there, who I had just met, tried to contribute to the group conversation by making an inappropriate "Paul Walker" comparison.  He was very soft spoken so the group did not hear and he only attempted it twice.  I know he didn't know mine and Paul's relationship and I also know he was only trying to gain social approval from the group by contributing something that he felt was significant.  Knowing this, I  silently told myself if he said it a 3rd time I would politely say something, if he said it a 4th time I would not so politely do something.

Last week I was grabbing dinner with a friend.  While we were sitting at the bar a group of guys standing behind us started talking about Paul making jokes about how he is releasing movies now the same way Tupac released music after he died.  My friend saw me fuming and  sent me to the bathroom, he then talked with the guys.  He is a good friend.

Two weeks ago I was sitting with a group of people I had just met, a preview for one of Paul's movies came on, and the topic quickly shifted to Paul and how he died, I started crying.

Several weeks ago I ran into a guy who knew Paul and I, he immediately started asking me about what the family was doing with his estate.  I politely told him that if he wanted to know about that go read the tabloids.

And so on... You all get the idea.  Keep in mind the above are a sample of recent events in the last month.  You can imagine what it was like December - March.  I am not going to lie, it can be really hard to put my own emotions aside and remind myself of where the above people may be coming from and why they choose to talk about my friend.  There are times where I feel like I am going to snap and rip someones head off (yes, even positive happy, motivational guys like myself can and do get angry), I mean this is my friend they are using as dinner table conversation.  How would they feel if it had been their friend and now they were subjected to people using their friend as idle chit chat?

I receive on average a minimum of three emails a week from people claiming to have known Paul, wanting to know Paul, or wanting to know more about him.  Some of the things I have been asked to disclose are completely disrespectful to myself and to Paul.  Some of the things I have been told have been deeply hurtful.  I humbly ask those of you who have done this, those who continue to do this, and those who are thinking about doing this, to please stop. The only personal information I am going to share has been shared.  Your messages hurt my heart and serve as a constant reminder that a person who is very special to me is no longer a physical presence in my life, nor will he ever be again.

If you are going to insist on continuing to contact me, please label your emails appropriately i.e. "This is an inappropriate hurtful message," so that I can delete it without having to view it; vs masking many of the emails as someone who is coming to me for help and trying to improve their life.

Imagine if the roll was reversed and your brother, or your son, or your best friend had been killed, and it was me emailing you, asking you to divulge personal information about him, or pretending I had known him.  It would probably hurt, wouldn't it?

In addition, it seems that there are still people posting "pages" to our 1 Year 1000 Challenge community Page asking people to "like" their page that is related to Paul in some way.  As I have said before the 1000 Challenge page is not an appropriate place for that kind of solicitation.  The 1000 Challenge page is about making the best out of your life, it is about finding the tools and resources to create the life of your dreams.  With this in mind, I humbly ask those of you who continue to do this solicitation behavior on the 1000 Challenge page, to please stop.

I also ask all of you who may be a member of the 1000 Challenge community, that if you see one of these posts, to please report it to Facebook as being spam.

Just because I am this positive motivational guy does not mean I am impervious to pain.  I feel pain and I feel it very deeply, I am human after all.

To the millions of you that have been more than amazing and supportive, I thank you.  To the thousands of you who make up our awesome 1000 Challenge Community and are taking the time to read and share this blog, I thank you.  And to the small few of you who have participated in what has been the main focus of this blog, I want you to know that I forgive you for what has transpired in the past, and I thank you for being respectful and honoring my request to no longer send inappropriate emails, make inappropriate comments, and solicit on the 1000 Challenge page.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse