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Saturday, January 24, 2015

The Inside Scoop on Jesse Brisendine part 2

Hi there!

Last week I invited one of my best friends, Macie Berlin, to do a guest blog and share some stories about me.

If you haven't read last week's blog, aka Part one of "The Inside Scoop on Jesse Brisendine" you are going to want to read that first before you read today's.  Click here to read it.

Before I get to part 2, can I first say how much I love Macie's writing.  Over the course of our friendship I have gotten to read a lot of Macie's writings and each time I am amazed by the talent she has for it.  She has a way of capturing moments/memories and putting the emotion and feelings right back into them.

Anyways, I know you are eagerly waiting for part two, before I get to that just a quick reminder that beginning tomorrow, Monday January 26th, enrollment will open up for the Six Weeks to Your Greatest You program.  I'll only be taking 20 people for this one of a kind experience.  Claim your spot quick because this program will sell out. I will be sending an email out on Monday as well as posting it to Facebook on the 1 Year 1000 Challenge page.

Ok, onto Maice:

I take a lot of pride in how hard I can make that guy laugh. I have always thought of myself as quick-witted and humorous, but it's always a sort of self-fulfilling validation when someone else receives you the same. It also matters to me that I make Jesse laugh because I have seen him go without laughter for what has felt like eternities.

I know you know about Gabe. Or “Maverick” as I knew him based on Jesse's introduction one Super Bowl Sunday years ago. What you don't know is that Gabe's death occurred the day after my college graduation ceremony and party, both of which Jesse had attended. Or that it came 5 days before we were supposed to be getting on a plane to Texas to board a cruise ship and sail around the Caribbean. Or that Jesse and I had pondered life's meaning and direction minutes before the infamous text message in the public library. I didn't really understand Gabe's death at the time. I cried at his funeral, I questioned the note that he left, and I hurt for my friends. I didn't know what to do. So I just listened. I had nightmares every night because Jesse would describe the event in such detail to me. I had nowhere to place the images that I concocted via his descriptions, so they became figments of a scary fantasy, but I knew that Jesse needed to spill those memories somewhere. One day, shortly after everything, Jesse pulled up outside of my apartment and we just sat in his car and cried. He had a tupperware of tuna on his lap and I remember staring at it, as I held his head to my shoulder. I couldn't take my eyes off of that damn tuna. And I couldn't figure out how to save my savior.

Life did go on, but it took a really long time. The relationships that existed in our little circle of friends were strained and changed forever. Drinking had an edge to it, and the elephant in the room was life size. Jesse wasn't famous back then, but he was still well-known and well-respected. He had a lot of people who were there for him, and eventually the people who weren't were weened out and life started to take a new form of regeneration. It took a lot though. I moved in at the same time Tomas did, and the three of us lived together. I attribute some of their coping mechanisms to deal with the weight of Gabe's brutal death to having me as a “little sister” who lived with them during that time. Their pranks and teasing were a mutual ground for both of them, and we all knew what was at stake without the fun and the games. I was willing to be subjected to getting locked in my own closet and having the life scared out of me every time I came around a corner and they jumped out at me in order to give them some sort of solace. Some sort of ground to pick up the pieces that were so broken.

The other mutual ground around that time was the women who pined after my roommates. Girls – if you ever live with two straight men – brace yourself for the folly of females. I learned a lot about who I did NOT want to be by watching the women think they were involved with these men who had zero interest in them. They would invite themselves over for bbqs and explain to me their dating history with Jesse or Tomas, and they would want to be my best friend. (I was the roommate, but I was a threat in their eyes nonetheless – hence the desperation of friendship). Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a revolving circle of endless women; it was just a hilarious enjoyment for me to watch the girls expect what I knew would never come for them. Jesse has always had many admirers. He doesn't share very much about them, so I'm doing my woman-friend duties and breaking down the reality for you.

He doesn't date well. The girls are either in it for the wrong reasons or a complete snooze-fest. I'm protective and picky for Jesse, so it's not like I'm not on the hunt. But regardless. The man can use some help in this department.

I secretly applied Jesse to be on ABC's The Bachelorette one year, and then completely forgot about it until the producers called him and pushed him through to the next level. It was the most confusing day of his life, and one of the best of mine. I filled out all of the questions, shot his video, and coached him to say all of the right things to get the final slot. I was excited and the teenage girl in me flew to action. I made him brush his teeth with his shirt off like 14 times just to say “Hello ABC.” I think he went through an entire tube of toothpaste. It worked. He had a final interview in LA, and I knew he would get on.  Except that he dropped out. Know why?

The ex.

That's how I refer to her. I tolerated her for about 8 months simply because Jesse told me to, but I never liked her. And I wasn't exactly shy about my feelings toward her. Jesse would say “you guys are a lot alike and she's really driven and blah blah blah,” and I would shoot daggers at him through my disinterested green eyes – we were not alike, and I was insulted to hear such a claim. She was using him, and I wanted her GONE. She stayed at the house without permission, her humor was acceptable once every 16 dirty jokes or so, and she was completely lost and dependent on my friend. She didn't want to date Jesse, she wanted to BE Jesse. But instead she tore him down. She told him all the things he wasn't good at and could never be. She misread his sensitivity for weakness, and she was always on to the next best thing. Girlfriends must be accepted by the girl friend. It's the cardinal rule of co-ed friendship. She failed miserably.

She broke up with him and then threw her fishing rod out to lure him back in once in a while when she felt low about herself, which I imagined to be often. Unfortunately for ABC, this kept Jesse from being a shoo-in on The Bachelorette. Sorry America, I tried.

Sometimes I wonder if many of his followers are intrigued by Jesse because of his good looks and then somehow end up falling for him. It's totally in your right. I always worry that you won't really understand Jesse. You won't see him beyond his online presence. And that scares me. Regardless, if you think you're the bee's knees and made for Jesse Brisendine, I would truly love to talk to you.

Admittedly, I don't have a perfect dating record either. Jesse has helped scoop me off of the floor after cheater and liar have crushed my open heart, and he has been the bearer of bad news when he has sensed or seen a major red flag in the men of my liking. When I lived with Jesse and Tomas, they would salivate at the idea of a boy coming over. When we would go out together, if I was talking to a guy, they would come over, shake his hand, fart, and then walk away, leaving us with the literal stench and discomfort. But Jesse has also been my biggest pusher toward love. He has made an effort to meet the men I've loved, to listen to my ups and downs, and to weigh in from a male perspective. Between the two of our dating lives, we have come to simply call it “girl talk.” I wrote a book a few years ago and then decided I didn't want to publish it. It depicts my entire (relatively short) life in the scheme of men who have affected it in various degrees. It became more of a cathartic process for me, but I shared it with Jesse nonetheless and he has continually supported my writing habit. That's another thing about him – he is passionate about my passions.

Did I mention one of those passions is feminism? I won't go through the name-calling that Jesse teased me with when I first told him I was a feminist, but I knew it was out of love. And let's be honest, everyone has an eye roll and label to press when it comes to feminism. I studied it in college, went on my first protest when I was 20, and continuously dabble and dive in the ever-present issues that are dripping in feminism. Jesse never identifies me as just that, but he is always up for a good discussion about assholes and opinions. We share the commonality of defying connotative stigmas attached to many of our characteristics. I am young, blonde, and light-eyed; I wear high heels and get dressed up at times; I cuss and cry and watch really, really bad tv. But I'm a feminist. People can't seem to get that. Jesse is a 6'4” body builder type with bubbling muscles and clear skin; he works out pretty much every day (often twice a day) and brings his own protein powder to the gym. But he's sensitive. People can't seem to latch on to that easily either.

So who is Jesse Brisendine? Is he... to be concluded next week.

Next week's blog: Jesse's weird habits, Haiti, more grief, and who he is today

Macie's Bio:

Macie is your average Feminist Studies and Exercise and Sports Science major from UCSB. By average, she means she's a walking contradiction. She loves all things sports and competition, and she is also a passionate philanthropist and activist. Most important, she is a nerd at heart. Macie coaches and runs character development programs from high school girls soccer players, and she continuously pursues her favorite activity - writing. Macie's various, but important passions include her non-profit organization, H.E.E.A.L. (Hope through Exercise, Energy, and Art for Life), which serves to fund other organizations who promote and provide exercise and art outlets ( They also include her podcast, Dropping the F Bomb (, which delves into modern-day feminism with a little bit of an attitude, and her blog, Lifestyle of the Torn and Triad, which follows her journey through her 3rd knee surgery in her 20s ( Macie will also be starting as a contributor for Elite Daily (

Jesse Here:

There is something both scary and freeing about having someone so close to you write about you. I don't think I would let anyone do this other than Macie.  I trust her and I am thankful for that trust as allowing her to do this has been a trip down memory lane for me.  It has allowed me to relive some amazing memories and process experiences in the past from the present perspective.  I hope you all are enjoying Macie's stories as much as I am.

I have attached a few more photos of Macie and I.

Enjoy the photos,

Carpe Diem,



  1. Macie, you are a wonderful writer. You bring your stories about Jesse to life. I look forward to reading them. Jesse, you are a lucky soul to have Macie as your friend. The same goes for you, Macie. To have a friend of the opposite sex is phenomenal to say the least. I am a baby boomer, grew up in the 60's to beach music, dancing the Shag and Myrtle Beach. I'm lucky enough to have kept in touch with my BFS's all these years. Including my male friends. There is one in particular whom every time we see each other, we talk about the past. No matter how bad things may have gotten at times, we always ended up happy and smiling. And most of all, having a great time. So there you go. I sooooo relate to your friendship. You only pass through this world once so cherish the moments that count.
    Luv to both of you.

  2. Thanks a lot for sharing these stories with us! It's nice to get to know Jesse better as I dont want and cant really judge someone who I never talked to personally.
    You're a great writer love to read your stories:) And after all i can say after reading the blogs, a great friend! It's so sweet what you're doing for Jesse.
    Meant for Jesse? Dont know, maybe I am;D Who knows...;)

    I really wont say I know him but that he's sensitive was my opinion when i saw his fb page for the first time and read about the "International Sunrise/Sunset Day". You cant do something like this if you're not sensitive in my opinion:)

    I love your friendship and support for each other hope it'll last a life time!


  3. And it was on this fateful day that Macie, singlehandedly, shattered the dreams of all women across the land. It was said that you could literally hear thousands of hearts break if you were standing upwind.


    ...They shook his hand, farted, then walked away.
    LOLOLOLOL. If THAT doesn't symbolize a true friendship, and tackle that new boyfriend interview, well then I just don't know what does.

    Round 3 of "Who is this Jesse guy" ...can't wait!

  4. Ok...I think that Macie and Jesse need to get married! They are perfect for each other!

  5. Love it. Macie, as an aspiring writer with an English degree who teaches English can I just say that I love how your voice shines through in your writing. I feel like I know you from your writing. Thanks for sharing. I think it's awesome having a friendship like yours. My best friend is a guy and it is a special kind of bond not many can understand. I'm glad Jesse has you because he seems to give so much of himself to others; it's nice to know he has a constant in his life :)

  6. I love reading all your comments and thoughts! I appreciate each and every one of you taking the time to write them. I am glad you have been able to enjoy Macie's writing style. I certainly do as do I enjoy seeing what she comes up with. She is a very talented lady

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  8. This is really great Jesse. What a wonderful way to open us all up to the personal side of you! This is great and Macie sounds just fantastic, she's a keeper:)

  9. Wow !! What an awesome read ! I have always wondered what Jesse is really like..thank you Macie for letting us in. You guys have a beautiful relationship and are both lucky to have each other. I've learnt in life that as long as you have that one special person that truly understands you, gets you, loves you, argues with you because they looking out for you then you will be ok ..I thoroughly enjoyed readings part 1 and part 2 ..I laughed loads and at some points my heart just melted . Macie your writing skills are excellent capture your audience from the minute go and give juicy information to keep me intrigued . . I'm so looking forward to the next read.. I want more !! I want more!! Tam x