My Dad was Not the Best Dad, Which Made him The Best Dad for Me.

A few days ago it was, what would have been, my Dad's 65th birthday.  Sadly he is no longer physically present to celebrate it as my Dad died very suddenly on February 1st 2010.

The irony, (if you can have irony in death,) was that just two weeks prior to my Dad's passing, he was told by his doctor that he was officially a cancer survivor.

After an over two year battle with colon cancer, my Dad had beat it and was told by his doctor that he was in full remission and had has entire life ahead to look forward to.

My Dad had won a hard fought battle and for his efforts his rewarded with the promise of time.

Time to do all the things he had always wanted to do.

Time to make his priorities a priority.

Time to say I love you more.

Time to forgive and let go of past pain.

Time to travel and see the world.

Time to laugh with friends and connect with family.

Time to live life with a renewed appreciation after having been so close to death.

My Dad was promised, and given, time.... two weeks of it.

Not what he, I, or anyone else assumed, but that is what happened.

On his birthday I took a few moments to reflect on my Dad and what his death has meant to my life, as well as what his legacy is to me.

I recorded these thoughts so I could share them with You.

When I initially shared the video last week on Facebook I got an email from someone asking me "How can you open up and share the way you do."

It is certainly not easy to do so and there are a lot of emotions that come up during the process of sharing.  I do share because with all my heart, I believe what I have experienced and what I have learned from those experiences is meant to be shared.  I feel it would be wrong of me to keep what I have to offer and the insights I have gained locked away - hidden from others.

It is my deepest hope that you are able to find value in what I share and perhaps my words are able to help some of you who are dealing with a significant loss of your own.

Enjoy the pics (they are all of my Dad and I),

Carpe Diem,

Jesse
http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

 

Self Love... It is Worth It.

Howdy!

Thanks for stopping by!

One quick update:

The One Billion Steps in March event is underway!!  I need everyone who is able and willing to record their steps to please please do so as we have a big goal to hit.  Click here for more info.

I posted the below to Facebook last week and it received a lot of really positive feedback.  Many people shared how it connected with them.  I felt it was a good idea to share it here in hopes that it may reach a few more people who find value in it.  Please let me know what you think:

 I got my Heart Broken for the very first time and was the BEST thing that ever happened to me!

I had been dating a girl for a couple of years.  Our relationship ran through cycles of being good to borderline great to so so to OMG how can this continue on?  We were each others best friends and at the same time each others worst enemies.  At times when we should have taken a deep breath and talked things out, we chose to instead nit pick, poke, fight, and tear each other down.

There were times throughout the relationship where I felt we needed to walk away, but when she would try to end it, I would fall apart and beg for her to take me back, promising that I, and we would change.

Eventually she got strong enough, or frustrated enough, (maybe both), to walk away for good.

I fell apart.

I could not sleep, I could not eat (I lost 20 pounds in less than three weeks), I cried so much my face was constantly swollen. I felt so lost... like I had lost... myself...

As much as I wanted to try and blame my pain on losing her, the real reality was was that I was lost because I didn't know who I was.  The loss of the relationship brought, like a geyser exploding to the surface, my lack of self love.  She had been filling a void that I had never taken the time, or made the effort to fill myself.  She was doing my job that I should have been doing for myself a long time ago.

One day I had an "Eureka" moment.  I knew I was at a crossroads in my life and the decision I made going forward was going to determine what kind of life I would live.

I had two clear choices in front of me:

A - I could continue down the path I was on, not deal with myself, get into another relationship to put a band aide on my pain, ignore my lack of Self Love be good for a little while, never great, and more than likely end up right back where I was a few more years down the road.

or, I could choose

B - To get real, I mean really real and resolve to do whatever the fuck I needed to do to dump my emotional baggage from the past and start filling up the holes inside of me with the self love I had been lacking and longing for.

"A" was an easy choice, I was familiar and comfortable with that one, "B" was scary as hell and I had no idea what to do or even where to begin.

Have you ever been there?  Had two choices in front of you... one of which is so tempting because it is easy and so familiar, but in your gut you already know how it will turn out.  However, your other option is scary as hell, you have no clue on what to do or how to do it, but in your gut you know that is the one you should choose.

I was terrified when I made the decision to go with choice "B."  Despite that fear I promised myself I would dive head long into it no matter what.  I hired a coach, read every book, listened to every guru, attended the seminars, all of it and more - I would not stop until I got to a place where I felt like I actually Loved me.

And you know what?

I got there - after a lot of hard work, commitment and fear facing, I got there, and now...

I LOVE ME. :)

When my relationship ended, I fell apart, and at the time I thought that was what my life was destined to be, a life of sadness and pain.  What I realize now is that I needed to fall apart so that I could rebuild myself into who I am today.

You see we are all like Legos - when the pieces fall apart it doesn't mean they are broken, it just means there is an opportunity to create something new, something greater.

You will always be missing out on something in life if you never find your love from within.

The greatest tragedy I witness day in and day out professionally, is meeting with folks who lack self love and lack the courage to do anything about changing it.

Their lack of self love causes so much unnecessary pain in their relationships, their professional lives, and their health.

I am so sick and tired of watching good people suffer through life when they do not have to.  Change is available to us all if we are willing to change.

With that being said, because of the overwhelming response to this post, I AM going to do a small training specifically on self love.

I'll be hosting the first ever Self Love Summit and it will begin on Tuesday March 24th.  If you would like to attend, the first step is to fill out the application at this link: 

https://jessebrisendine.wufoo.com/forms/r12weqvo107r022/

Once I receive your completed application, I will get in touch with you (make sure to include your email).

I hope to welcome many of you to the Self Love Summit. :)

#CarpeDiem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

P.S.

Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think of this blog.  I would love to hear your feedback.  What do you think of when you think of self love?  Is it important?