Merry Christmas with Gratitude

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

I really enjoy the Christmas season because of all the uniqueness that comes with it:

Christmas lights

Christmas Music

Delicious Food

Holiday Parties

Christmas Cookies

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays well wishes and greetings

Dd I mention Delicious Food

and the people.

I often wonder if life would be different for people if the "holiday spirit" stayed with them 365 days a year.  What would that be like if we made a point of spreading and wishing Christmas-esq cheer everyday instead of just the Holiday's. 

What if peace on earth and good will towards men & women was a daily intention instead of just a holiday intention?

Would our lives be different?  I certainly think so.  After all change begins with the intention to change.  The change of our thoughts/feelings/actions begins with the intention to change our thoughts/feelings/actions.

I also love Christmas time because folks tend to be more positively reflective about the people in their lives.  They make the extra effort to express appreciation, gratitude, and love for those who are a presence in their lives.

I wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude for all of you.

Our 1000 Challenge Community has grown to over 50,000 strong (as of this writing).  I feel so blessed to be a part of so many of your journey's.  Every day I read Your comments,posts, tweets, and emails. I am continually inspired by your journey's and the steps you are taking to build your extraordinary life.

Thank you so much for sharing your journey's with me.  My Christmas wish this year is that 2015 is full of love, laughter, learning, and continual growth for you all.

Remember that You deserve to have the best life possible.  Never settle for anything less than that.

CarpeDiem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

P.S. I have been chatting with one of my best friends about doing some guess blogging on here in 2015.  One idea she had is that she could share some stories about me... offer a personal perspective which might help you all get to know me a little better.  What do you think?  Is this something you are interested in?

One Year Later... Remembering My Best Friend

Hi All,

With this being the one year anniversary of my friend Paul's passing, I wanted to say a few words. I will keep the text brief since I said pretty much everything I want to say in the video below.

I want to be clear: I choose to be happy, I work hard at it every day, and I also have my own personal struggles; just like you. I am human and when I feel, I feel very very deeply.  Happiness, Joy, Love, Laughter, Sadness, Frustration, etc... I feel all of it and I feel it all at equally deep levels when emotions are appropriate.

This last year has been a hard one.  I lost the two people I was closest to in my day to day life.  One of them, Paul, died a year ago today.


One thing I forgot to mention in the video is that Paul, in this last year, has taught me a great deal of patience. It is hard to lose someone you love, it is even harder when that person is someone the whole world wants to talk about. This last year there have been many times I have gotten pissed off and angry to the point where I have wanted to say or do something that is out of character for me.

Each time I feel my blood start to boil I take a breath and hear Paul's voice, "Jesse this is not you."

There have been times this last year I have not wanted to be me, but Paul has always reminded me to be me because me being me is what our friendship has been built on.  Me being me and him being Paul, not the actor, not the movie star, just Paul.

My personal life is very similar to all of yours.  It is one that is filled with all that comes with living a complete life: Love, Loss, Happiness, Sadness, Laughter, Hurt, Joy, etc...

My life is far from perfect and I do not want to mislead any of you in thinking that it is, nor would I want it that way.  The "hard stuff" of life does not happen to make our lives become hard.  The hard stuff happens to give us an opportunity to grow, to learn, and to make our lives better.

I hope you find value in this video as the message is one I believe in with all my heart.  If you do find value please share it with someone.  Here is a link to share: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBrn9GtJF0U&list=UUJnymgVGKg2WQSv-wXotRdA

I have also included links to donate to ROWW.  The following link goes to the fundraising page that I started for Paul's birthday.  It is my goal to raise $1,000,000 for Reach Out World Wide. I believe that we can reach that goal. Please donate by clicking here or using the link below.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

www.jessebrisendine.com
www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge


Here is the link to donate to ROWW: https://donate.roww.org/fundraise?fcid=339063

Here is the link to the Sunrise/Sunset video from Paul's birthday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbAek5oTPdc&list=UUJnymgVGKg2WQSv-wXotRdA

Here is a link to the Facebook photo album on the 1 Year 1000 Challenge page that has all your photos from those of you who sent in ROWW donation confirmation pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.967604023266338.1073741835.187115434648538&type=3

An Adventure Within an Adventure

I recently returned from my first ever Fall Foliage tour of New England - it was amazing.  I wanted to share with you a little bit about my adventure.  First, a couple important updates:

Save the date!!

Sunday, November 23rd, at 7:30am PST is when the next #Youtube chat will be held

The topic will be: How to keep your spirits up and attitude positive when others are unconsciously bringing your down.

You can join the chat by clicking here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgbHRe1ghso

Secondly, boy I am really excited about this one: On Monday November 24th or Tuesday November 25th I will be opening enrollment for the Zero Limits Mastermind.  (Insert happy dance).  More information about the program will be coming out over the next two weeks in addition to what I have been sharing on the 1 Year 1000 Challenge page.  This will be a year long program that is open to those of you who are fully committed to making 2015 your most epic year yet.

As many of you know I love to travel and do it as often as I can.  Whether it is for business or for pleasure I love going on adventures, making new memories, and creating new experiences.

As I mentioned earlier I recently visited New England, specifically Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut.  For years I have wanted to visit New England in the Fall to take in some of the fall foliage.  This year I finally made it happen.  I met up with one of my best friends and we embarked on a multi day multi State road trip.

What was especially fun is the adventure within the adventure we created.

The first night we were in Boston Massachusetts and it was cold (maybe not that cold for most of you, but keep in mind I live in Santa Barbara AND I am a weenie when it comes to the cold) so we sought refuge in a local restaurant/bar.

As we were sitting there ordering our food it turned out that the place we were in happened to be one of the oldest restaurants in the USA.  This intrigued me so a quick google search later and I discovered this list: the 10 Oldest restaurants in America.  What I was excited to see is that I had already been to the one in New York and since I was at the present one in Boston, I had two out of the 10. Further reading revealed that three of the remaining eight were located in Connecticut and Rhode Island. 

The idea was born to visit these and make a little mini adventure of visiting all the top 10 within the next couple years.

I have found that being flexible in my travel plans, meaning, being able to let go of an itinerary and go with where the road takes me when time allows, really opens up the possibility of new and unplanned experiences for me. 

As the road took us through miles of beautiful fall leaves and fall colors, it also took us to some delicious places to eat.  Furthermore I already have one restaurant picked out for when I visit New Orleans next March with the Exercise Accountability Group, as well as one to visit next time I am in Colorado (which I am plan on doing next year as well).

AND one final surprise that came as an unplanned adventure - I participated in and completed my first 5k race in over three years.  This was... surreal.  As many of you know I have had numerous health challenges over the last few years that have really limited much of what I have been able to do physically.  Running this race was a significant step in the healing process for me.

To sum up: whether it is travel, work, play, or anything else limitations (and your belief in them) will only do just that, limit you.  Even as I go through the healing process physically I acknowledge that I have some physical limitations at this time, but I do not believe it will always be that way. In fact I believe the opposite that I am healing, I will heal, and that the day will come where I will be better than ever. Along the way I focus on what I can vs what I am temporally unable to.

Oh, and if you find yourself in the middle of an adventure remember to stay flexible and open to new experiences.  Breaking away from the itinerary may lead to your most memorable moment(s) of the experience.

Enjoy the pictures.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

www.jessebrisendine.com

www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

What If the Past Was NOT Real?

I know, I know, I have gotten a little behind on blogging, but I promise I have a great excuse!

My Excuse is: I have spending a lot of my free time developing my Zero Limits Mastermind program that I hope to be able to share with you all by the end of this month.  It is going to be a year long group program that will run from January 1st 2015 until December 31st 2015.  My intention is to help those who participate make 2015 the most epic year of their life!!

Today I wanted to share with you something I have been thinking about a lot... the past.

At present I am attending a 15 day long seminar in an area of psychology and communication that I find very fascinating.

The other day we had a discussion on the past and how the past is constantly changing and therefor not real.

Some of you may have just read that and said, "HUH! Jesse you totally lost me... are you smoking something?" 

No I am not smoking anything nor have I gone crazy (well maybe a little crazy), I do have a point; stay with me.

The example the instructor used was this:

In America, as kids we are taught the story of the first Thanksgiving.  When I was a kid the story went something like this:

Many years ago a group of settlers from Europe called the Pilgrims sailed across the Atlantic Ocean and made landfall on the East Coast of the United States.  These kind people were setting up a society and met some very friendly locals called Indians.  These Indians lead by a man named Squanto taught the Pilgrims how to farm and utilize the land.  When the time came to harvest some of the first crops the Pilgrims and Indians came together and celebrated Thanksgiving as friends because they had so much to be Thankful for.  The End.

Over the last several years this story has changed to go something like this:

Pilgrims came over they took the Native American's land infected them with diseases and tried to force their way of life on them.  The pain they caused ran so deep that we are still dealing with the repercussions of it today.  One of the latest examples is the movement to have the name changed of the professional football team "Washington Redskins," saying that the term Redskin is offensive.  Several years ago this was no problem, now people are calling for a Congressional move to ban the name.  The end... or is it.

How can the past have changed so much if the past was permanent.

The reason is because the past is and always will be subject to our interpretation of it and how we choose to interpret things can change from moment to moment. 

Have you ever had a really bad day and when someone asked you about the past you remembered it unfavorably?

Have you ever had a really great day and when someone asked you about the past, something that once was so painful for you, was remembered, in that moment, as not being that big of a deal

Two of the greatest examples of this are little kids and dogs.

The other day I was at a friends house and watched as their one year old son hit his head so hard on a table.  He cried, his Mom comforted him, and 10 seconds later he was back running around the table with no fear.  For him there was no memory, or perceived painful memory, keeping him trapped in the past... for him there was just the present and the experience that comes with it.

Dogs... dog owners know that dogs have a tremendously quick rebound rate.  They do not hold onto pain because they want to experience as much love and joy as possible.

Think about yourself - how often have you found yourself trying to remember who said what in a movie, which one of your friends shared the latest gossip with you, or who sang what song lyrics.  Do you even remember what color shirt the person next to you in the elevator was wearing yesterday?  Do you remember specifically what your boss was angry with you about?

My point is this, how can you be 100% certain the past is real when we often do not remember what just happened five minutes ago? Yet we base so much of who we are today on our past, specifically the painful parts of the past.

If the past is ever changing, and we can be certain that we may not be 100% certain of how things happened (think Thanksgiving story) doesn't it seem to make a little less sense to live your life today based off of what may or may not have happened in the past??

What do you think?

I look forward to reading your thoughts.


Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Is it a Crime to Die?

 I came across an article (click here to read it) that really moved me and I wanted to share it with you.  The article is about a recently married young woman (29 years old) who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness.  Rather than stay in California where laws would prevent her from choosing to die on her terms and die with dignity, she moved to Oregon where laws allowed her to have that option.

I have been thinking a lot about this as of lately.  My Grandmother has advanced alzheimer's.  It has been over eight years since I had an adult conversation with her.  It has been at least four since I was able to have a conversation with her that I might have with a four year old.

She is at the stage where she is wheel chair bound, in diapers, and drooling.  She barely opens her eyes nor raise her head.  She cannot speak but mumble an occasional word or two. 

My Grandma was the person who used to make you wash your hands before you ate because she was so meticulous about things being clean and sanitary. My Grandma was a proper lady who would be appalled to have a conversation about pooping.

I wonder if my Grandma knew the fate that was in store for her, would she have taken steps to prevent it. If my Grandma had been given an opportunity to die with dignity, would she have taken it?

I would.

 The experience has been heartbreaking for me.  I struggle with seeing her now because the images of today are over taking my memories of her... I do not want to remember her this way so I do my best to try and remember her how she was.

Watching her pain and the sadness it brings to my family I feel completely certain that if I ever faced a similar situation I would take measures to end my life on my own terms.

Would you?

My question to you is this: when facing a terminal illness, one that will induce great suffering and rob you of the essence that is you, is it a crime to choose to end your life vs face that fate?

I am looking forward to reading your thoughts.


Carpe Diem,

Jesse

www.jessebrisendine.com

www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

A Day I Will Never Forget

International Sunrise and Sunset Day around the world was nothing less than amazing.

I wanted to post a quick blog so that there was a place to view the photo albums as well as the video from the event.

I also wanted to extend a huge thank you to all of you who participated.  This event more than exceeded my expectations.

I feel so blessed to have been able to be a part of something that brought so many of us together from all over the world.  One of the greatest things about technology is the ability it creates to bring people together and make the foreign less foreign.

Seeing all the money that was raised for Reach Out World Wide by our 1000 Challenge Community has really inspired me to look for more opportunities for more good that we all can put out into the world.  We are becoming a community with a very powerful voice. This gives us a lot of leverage in hosting more amazing events in the future.

Imagine what we can do if we had similar numbers for Trash Clean Up Day or if all of us gave up sugar for a month... do you think companies would be willing to start being more transparent if 46,000+ people stopped using one of their products??? Something to certainly think about.

The point of this blog is this: when we come together for a greater good there is no limit on what we can do/achieve/accomplish.

I am so grateful to all of you and extremely excited about future projects that we can all do together.

I have been tossing around some ideas for our next community challenge, but wanted to check with you all first to see if you have any suggestions.

What should our next 1000 Challenge Community Challenge be?

I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Enjoy the photos and video.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

Sunrise/Sunset Photo album Part 1

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.971931062833634.1073741836.187115434648538&type=3

ROWW Donations

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.967604023266338.1073741835.187115434648538&type=3

International Sunrise Sunset and Reach Out World Wide Fundraiser Update

Well I have some news...

I still have not come close to downloading all the Sunrise, Sunset, and ROWW donation confirmation pictures yet.  There are 1000's of them.   The process of downloading them all is overwhelming at times.  One minute I will be smiling, the next I will be updating my "places to travel list," and then the next I may be crying and having to step away because wounds that have not fully healed began to hurt.

I will keep this blog brief as I still have a couple hours of downloading I want to try to get in before bed time.

Sunrise/Sunset numbers:  All seven continents, even Antarctica, submitted pictures!!  I don't know if I have ever said "So Fucking Cool!!" out loud as loudly as I did when I saw the Antarctic picture pop up.

I have seen pictures from at least 50 countries, but I am pretty sure there are many more than that.  My goal is to have a final count by the end of the week.

Here in the USA it looks like we got a picture from every State!!  Way to go!! :)

Amazing!!

As for the Reach Out World Wide fundraiser:  Paul once told me, "It takes about $50,000 to fund one deployment."  I am proud to say that because of our efforts we have raised almost exactly $50,000 to date.  On the official donor page (see picture below,) because of the donations of nearly 1,300 people we have raised $46,000!!!

I know many of you bought merchandise in lieu of direct donations.  I also know that many of you donated directly through Reach Out World Wide vs using the donor page (I have received many emails explaining this).  So I am willing to bet that our fundraising efforts came in just about $50,000, enough to fund a future Reach Out World Wide deployment!!  How amazing is this!

None of this would have been possible without all of you.  Please, do me a favor and allow yourself to soak this in for a moment: because of You, next time a natural disaster happens and Reach Out World Wide is deployed to help, You have made that possible.  The kids who need medicine are going to get medicine because of You.  The person who is trapped will get rescued because of You.  

This is a prime example of what can be accomplished if like minded people come together to work for a greater good.  If we can accomplish this now, imagine what we can do over the next year?  After all we still have some work to do to reach our goal of One Million.  Keep sharing the link and keep getting people involved.

With all my heart I thank you all for making this happen. 

Being a part of this has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  Stay tuned for the Sunrise Sunset album as well as video in the next couple weeks.

You are amazing.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse 

https://donate.roww.org/fundraise?fcid=339063

Happy Birthday Paul Walker & Reach Out World Wide Fundraiser

HI!!!

We are just a couple days away from International Sunrise/Sunset Day aka Happy Birthday Paul aka One Million for ROWW day!

I am really excited for the big event.

As a follow up to last weeks video/blog,  I recorded this video that shares some of my experiences about Reach Out World Wide's first trip to Haiti as well as Paul's commitment to helping people.

To see the photo of Paul I mentioned in the video, click here to go to the Reach Out World Wide Haiti page.

Earlier this year I wrote a blog recounting more about my trip to Haiti.  If you would like to read that blog, please click here.

Friday is the big day.  Remember to post all photos directly to the 1 Year 1000 Challenge Facebook page.

The Goals:  1 Million dollars raised for Reach Out World Wide, A photo of a Sunrise and or Sunset taken on September 12th, from 100 Countries.

This will happen because you all are making it happen by sharing and promoting the event.  I thank you all for all you have done thus far.  We are on the final push... please keep spreading the word.

I look forward to spending Friday with you.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

https://m.facebook.com/events/1468415000077566?acontext=%7B%22ref%22%3A22%7D&aref=22&ref=bookmark

Suggested hashtags: #InternationalSunriseSunsetDay #1Year1000Challenge #HappyBirthdayPW

https://donate.roww.org/fundraise?fcid=339063

Suggested hashtags: #HappyBirthdayPW #ROWW #OneMillionForROWW

Honoring a Friend... Happy 41st Birthday Paul

Hi all,

The blog is going to be switched up a little bit these next two weeks so that I can use it to communicate with all of you about the up and coming International Sunrise/Sunset around the world event.

As many of you know, my best friend was killed in a car accident late last year.  I wanted to do something special to honor him and celebrate what would have been his 41st birthday on September 12th.

What I have done is organize an event that has two parts to it.  You can view the event information in its entirety by clicking here.

This event means so much to me and I wanted to try to convey just how important it is to me so I recorded this video to share with you all.

I hope that the video motivates you to take part in Paul's birthday celebration on Friday, September 12th, 2014.

Paul Walker was my best friend.  I miss him everyday... this is one small gesture that I feel will help keep a part of him alive.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

p.s. please share the event info and video with your friends and family.  I need all of you to reach the goals I have set.

To view the event on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/events/1468415000077566?acontext=%7B%22ref%22%3A22%7D&aref=22&ref=bookmark

Suggested hashtags: #InternationalSunriseSunsetDay #1Year1000Challenge #HappyBirthdayPW

To donate to Reach Out World Wide, use this link: https://donate.roww.org/fundraise?fcid=339063

Suggested hashtags: #HappyBirthdayPW #ROWW #ISupportROWW #DonateToROWW

Physical Pain an Almost Full Disclosure Part 2

Hi All,

I appreciate all your comments and feedback from my blog last week.  The authorship process is one I want to learn and grow with.  Your feedback is invaluable to me and helps me to better myself as well as produce a better book for the world at large to benefit from.

Before I get to part two, I wanted to pass on a couple of updates:

The next 1000 Challenge Community event has been scheduled.  If you are going to participate in one event, this is the one to join.  It is a very special one for me.  Please click here to learn all about it.  Also be sure to invite your friends and family to join in.

Our next Youtube chat has been scheduled.  Sunday, September 7th, at 7:30am PST.  The topic will be: "Moving Forward from Grief, How to Honor Those You have Lost."
You can join the chat by clicking here:

Signups for the next 28 Day Flat Belly Challenge will be open on Monday September 22nd.  I will only be allowing 30 people to the opportunity to participate.  If you want to join you need to make sure you are subscribing to my newsletter as newsletter subscribers will get the first shot.  Click here to subscribe to my newsletter.

Ok: Physical Pain an Almost Full Disclosure Part 2

As I said last week this is a brief excerpt of the book I am working on.  Any/all comments, suggestions, and feedback are welcomed and much appreciated.

In March of 2012, nearly nine months post hernia surgery, the pain downstairs had subsided enough were I was starting to feel more normal in that area.  Normal in the sense that I was no longer getting the constant pain I had been previously, but there were still problems.  My back had gotten so bad that my movements were very limited.  Sitting for more than 20 minutes was a challenge, as was walking, hiking, etc...  (those of you who have been following the 1000 Challenge page since the beginning have noticed the decrease in hiking photos) This again affected the more intimate parts of my life because if I made any sudden movements, I would be greeted with a shooting pain through my body.  Reaching out to open the door hurt, imagine how much other things would hurt.

I was in so much pain, I felt completely emasculated, and was so frustrated with not being able to do some of the physical activities I enjoyed doing.  I began seeing a chiropractor that I was referred to by a friend.  I saw him for several months and my back did not improve, it only got worse.  In late June of 2012 I was referred to a Physical Therapist.  I saw him a couple times and for the first time since April of 2011 I felt a little better.

When I left to live in Europe, July of 2012, I was hopefully and optimistic that I was finally healing.  I had made a promise to myself that I would take a long walk around London every weekend.  The first weekend I was there I took about a seven mile walk.  The second weekend I walked the length of the Thames River up to London Bridge.  It was awesome.  I was doing the exercises religiously that the physical therapist had prescribed.  I was excited to continue to heal and return home in the fall back to my normal self.

Two weeks into my London adventure I went to the bathroom, number two.  It was really painful.  I thought that was weird, but figured it would go away. It didn't go away, it was there the next time I went to the bathroom and the time after that.  Not only was the pain there, but it was getting more intense and leaving me with a bloody mess.  

It only continued to get worse and worse.  After two weeks of this I was terrified to go anywhere or do anything.  If I walked longer than 10 minutes I felt uncomfortable.  I was scared of being away from a bathroom because the whole process of going was now taking me three times longer than normal.  It hurt so bad that I found myself at times biting down on towels to try and keep myself from yelling out in pain.

I was able to fly back to the States in late August to go to the doctor. By this time I had scared myself stupid by reading horror stories on websites about what could possibly be happening.  The first doctor I went to suspected I might have hemorrhoids. I started taking medicine (the kind you have to shove up your ass) as well as spending 30 minutes a day, two times a day, soaking in an epson salt bath trying.  As you might imagine, I was feeling really good about myself, especially since I had just started to feel better about my sexuality a few months earlier.  Now I am back to having pain and problems in areas that are some of our most sensitive.

 I also went to an acupuncturist who prescribed me to drink aloe vera juice (which tastes gross) as well as wheat grass juice, everyday.

I did all of this and it still did not get better.  I flew back to the States again and went to a different doctor.  He told me a I had an anal fissure, which is basically a tear in the tissue of your butt.  He said it was a fifty fifty chance it gets better on its own.  If it didn't the other option was surgery.  I again read the horror stories about how if the surgery did not go right you could lose control of your ability to control those muscles needed to go to the bathroom.

There was no way I was going to roll the dice and do the surgery, especially after I had had such a "positive" experience with the hernia surgery.  I convinced myself that I could heal naturally and I resolved to do anything and everything possible to heal.

I was doing everything I could to be proactive with my new “condition.” I changed my diet around by adding in a ton of extra fiber, stool softeners daily, eliminated alcohol, and eliminated red meat.  I stopped going out to eat because I was so terrified of not having full control over what went into my body.  Naturally this had a pretty shitty (Pun intended) affect on my social life.

I continued to take the Epsom Salt baths twice a day for 30 minutes at a time. The baths were frustrating to me because they took up so much time, but I had committed to follow instructions.  I began using the time in the bathtub to meditate.  I would go through a visualization of healing energy entering inside of me, healing my body.   Along with the Epsom Salt baths, I was applying this cream one to two times daily that if I put to much of it on it made me light headed, dizzy, and gave me an instant headache.  There was more than one time I almost passed out using this stuff.  The cream of course has to be applied to the injured area, so needless to say the rubber gloves that you see at doctor’s offices became staples in my day-to-day life.  I got very familiar with a part of the human body that most of us never have to acknowledge save  for disposing of our  “wastes” and that is it.  This was definitely some of the more humbling times of my life.

I was miserable.  I had finally started to feel better and now here I was with another problem below the waist.  I felt emasculated even more so and horribly inadequate as a man.  All those feelings I had of not being good enough, of hating myself, of being unattractive that I had fought my entire life were beginning to come rushing back to me.  

A large part of my adult identity had been built around the physical aspects of who I was: being able to be fit, active, and desirable by the fairer sex.  Now my ability to move was again limited; my back was only getting worse and now I was having new problems downstairs. More significantly for me was the emasculating feeling.  I was in so much pain I could barely think about sex let alone be sexual.  It was challenging, in my mind I did not feel attractive, in my mind I felt broken and focused on pain.

I can go a couple ways with next weeks blog... I can share with you part 3 or I can switch it up, save part 3 for later, and go with a different topic.

It is up to you.

Thanks for reading and your feedback. :)

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

Physical Pain an Almost Full Disclosure part 1

As many of you know I have been busily writing my second book.  A couple weeks ago I asked if there would be an interest in me sharing some of what I had written.  Today's blog is just that, a small excerpt of some of what I have been working on for the book.

This is my first share and so I would appreciate your feedback from two perspectives: One as a stand alone blog post and two as a perspective reader of a larger book... is this something that interests you, what more would you like to know, what can make it better, is it something you would want to read more of?

Thank you in advance. :)

I say "almost" full disclosure because I want to do my best to be fully honest, but at the same time I will spare you all from reading some of the less pleasant details.  I will include more of those details in the book as my intention with the book is to be as transparent as possible in hopes that it will inspire others.

Some of the stuff I am about to share is pretty personal.  I am not going to lie, I am a little embarrassed talking about these parts of my life, but I am going there in the hopes that my sharing can maybe help inspire at least one other person out there who is struggling with pain.

What I also help you all will take away is this:  That while I have kept this part of my life hidden, you all have still been able to watch me over the years.  Watch me grow, watch me share my message, and watch my choose my attitude and how I wanted to experience life.  I could not control some of the physical stuff, but I have always had a choice in my attitude.

We all experience pain in various forms throughout life.  Mental, emotional, and physical pain will affect us all in some way and at some point in life.  Different types of pain have different affects on each individual.  When it comes to pain, there is not a universal right or wrong for how to experience it.

The last three years I have been in a lot of physical pain.  As painful as the physical part has been, the real daily challenge for me has been the mental and emotional obstacles that my physical pain has imposed.

I have had back and neck problems since I was a little kid.  In fact one of my earliest memories is of being in a chiropractors office, getting my necked cracked, when I was about five years old.  Over the course of my life my back would "go out" at random.  If you have never had your back go out on you it feels, at least for me, something like this: like you got punched in the lung and the fist that punched you is still there squeezing your lung making it hard to breathe.  While you are struggling to breathe, your entire back seizes up making it virtually impossible to do the simplest of movements like standing, sitting, or even reaching out to open a door.

When I got into college and started exercising the frequency of my back going out dramatically decreased.  I had begun giving my spine the structural support it needed to stay in place.  Without fail, it would still go out once every six to eight months, but the recovery time was now quicker.  Usually I would be able to be back to normal function three or four days later.

So in early April of 2011, as I was sitting in a hotel room in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, working on my taxes, it really did not come as much of a shock when I turned to my side and felt my back snap. It was painful, but no more painful than it had been in the past, and I figured it would be back to normal within a week.  A week came and went, but the pain remained.

Not only was the pain still there, but my range of motion had started to diminish, especially on my right side.  I was having a hard time bending or rotating to my right.  When I would try to, I would instantly get this shooting pain through my body.  If I tried to push through the pain I would get a feeling like my spine was about to snap... it would take my breath away.

I was cautious with day to day activities and did my best to take care of it as I always had in the past. Since this happened right in the middle of the 1 Year 1000 Challenge, I was constantly on the go and did not give it the attention I could have or probably should have.  Plus shortly after this had all started I had to have surgery to repair an inguinal hernia that was bulging and beginning to cause me a lot of pain and discomfort.

I never got a really good vibe from my surgeon. This was confirmed the morning of the surgery when he showed up 15 minutes late, rushed into the room looking a little disheveled and asked me, "what are you here for?"  I remember thinking to myself: It is reassuring to know my health is the hands of someone who obviously cares so much about it.

It took several days for the initial swelling to go down.  By the end of the third or fourth day most of the surgery pain (pain that comes from getting operated on), had subsided.  I seemed to be healing with the exception of lingering pain in my testicles.

As the days turned into weeks the pain below the belt not only remained, but got worse.  When I asked the surgeon about it during my post op check up he said (if I recall correctly) it could take upwards of 12 weeks for pain to full subside.

12 weeks went by and the pain was not only still there, it was really impacting my life.  I tried to run, the impact hurt to much... felt like I was getting punched in the balls over and over again.  Even things like hiking had become difficult because the downhill vibrational impact really hurt.  I can vividly remember driving back from San Diego in early September when suddenly I got an intense pain, again feeling like someone was beneath my seat punching me over and over again in a very sensitive area.

Naturally this affected certain other areas of my life... without mincing words, my sex drive all but disappeared and the act of having sex became way way more painful than pleasurable.  I felt horribly inadequate and unattractive.

In the fall of 2011 I went to one of the top penis doctors in the world.  He had me get an ultra sound ( is that what it is called where they take the instrument and look inside you like they do for pregnant women?).  Results said I had a lump in one side and it may or may not be the cause of the pain I was experiencing.  He also revised my post op window for side affects and said to give it until 16 weeks.

16 weeks went by... the pain was still there, not as bad, but still there.  What also happened during this time was my back got worse and worse.  With some of my physical activity being reduced (no running, hiking, jumping, etc...) I was sitting a lot more.  Sitting meant more compression on my already painful back.  I did not pay as much attention to it because I was so preoccupied with what was going on downstairs.

Part two will be posted next Sunday...

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

Forgiveness of Self

Hi!

I hope this blog finds you happy and healthy.  Before I get to the blog I have one update I wanted to pass along to you, as well as ask a quick question.

Quick question: I was thinking about sharing with you all in a future blog a little bit about what I have been writing for the new book.  Any interest in that?

This coming Tuesday, August 12th, at 5:30pm PST will be our next #Youtube chat.  The topic will be: "Fear, what it costs us and how we can overcome it."  As always there will be a Q&A portion of the chat.  I hope you can join me.  Here is a link for Tuesday's Youtube chat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeW1YXHNCOc

The other day I was chatting with a friend about life.  Life is one of my favorite things to talk about and conversations about it can be fairly broad: love, death, changes, fears, hopes, relationships, dreams, and everything in between. On this particular day we talked about forgiveness, specifically forgiving of self.

When forgiveness is talked about it is so often talked about with the context of forgiving others.  Forgiving others is important, as the act of it allows us to free ourselves from the emotional control that the act that was forgiven, had over us.

So often we put our focus on forgiving others, that we forget to look in the mirror and acknowledge who else needs to be forgiven.

When we hold on to our own mistakes, our own missteps, and our own short comings, we are essentially allowing weeds to be planted in the garden that is our mind.  These weeds, will spread like wildfire when given the slightest bit of attention.

When we fail to forgive ourselves it is like putting on a back pack and filling it with heavy rocks.  Each rock represents something we are holding onto.  The more we hold onto the more weight we have to carry.  The more weight we have to carry the slower we move, the faster we get worn out, and the more rapidly we cease moving forward. The power in forgiving yourself is that it allows you to live in the present rather than be held back by the past. 

Forgiveness with yourself begins by first honestly acknowledging what part you played in whatever happened.  Allow yourself to see the situation for what it was, not better than it was and not worse than it was, just for what it was.  Accept that what happened has happened and it is now in the past.  You can't go back and change it (as much as we all my like to in the moment), what you can do is learn from it and resolve to use it for a greater good in your life going forward.

Remember you are human which means you are not above or beyond making mistakes.  You, despite your best efforts, will likely cause pain, hurt feelings, piss off, and frustrate other people.  It is a part of life.

What does not have to be a part of life is holding onto the pain that comes from those events.

Free yourself by forgiving yourself.

My questions to you is this:  Are you willing to forgive yourself?  Can you remember a time you forgave yourself?  What was that experience like and how did it impact your life?  Is there something you are holding onto and have not forgiven yourself for?  What is it and why?

Unchain yourself from the past by forgiving yourself and embrace the life that is waiting for you.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

Life of an Author

Hi All! :)




A couple of quick updates before I get to this weeks blog:



1.)  The start date for my Six Weeks to Your Greatest You program has been pushed back by one week.  Additionally, I have opened a couple extra spots to give a few more people the opportunity to participate in this program.  If you are looking to and ready to make some changes, You NEED to click this link and sign up for the program.  Click here to learn more and sign up.

2.) Our next 1000 Challenge Community Youtube chat has been scheduled.  It will take place on Tuesday, August 12th, at 5:30pm pst.  On Monday morning August 4th, I will put up a post with the opportunity for you to choose and vote for the topic you would like me to discuss.  I am excited and looking forward to chatting with you all then. Youtube Chat

As I shared on the 1 Year 1000 Challenge page yesterday I have fully immersed myself in the writing process of the book about the 1000 Challenge.

What has been interesting thus far is the book has begun to take on an entirely new life than what I originally thought it would be.  Initially my intention, at least for the last couple years, was to have a book that was all about the 1000 Challenge and my experiences in doing so.  In the future I may still write that book.  This book I am writing now, is turning into more of a tale of my life, experiences I have had, what lead me to the 1000 Challenge, and how life has changed since.

This, as many of you know, will be my second book I have written to completion.  Over the years, I have "attempted" to write four other books, with only one of them Ouch My Heart Is Broken, being written to the finish.

When I wrote Ouch My Heart Is Broken, it felt like it was something I had to do, something that needed to be done.  The process was very satisfactory and I am extremely proud of what I produced.  However, writing it was more of a challenge as at times I struggled to get into the writing flow.  I believe this in large part to be because I was writing the book as I was going through "my stuff," and learning.  In the near future I will update the book to add on how I have learned and grown since.

With this book, the writing process is different, it feels like I am writing and doing what I am meant to be writing and doing.  Mental and emotional blocks that have held me back from writing seem to be gone and what is emerging in their place is a flow of words, concepts, ideas, thoughts and feelings.  All with the intention, to help anyone who reads it to learn, grow, get inspired, and live their best life possible. :)

Even the writing "process," of this one has more of a process to it.  I have a block of time each day that I am allocating to writing.  During this time, I sit down, put my headphones in, turn the Superman theme song on repeat (yes I really do here is the link to which version I use) and type.

What comes out during these sessions has been typically anywhere between 2-5000 words about my life, my journey, how I have viewed and experienced life, how I have changed, how I have grown, and how I am still learning.  Of what has been written: there are sections that will make you laugh (I hope readers think I am funny), will make you cry, will make you stop and think, and will hopefully inspire you to take action to change.



Every single one of us has a story worth sharing.  Every single person has a great novel, great idea, great concept living on inside of them.  The only difference between the ones that get told and the ones that don't is the actions that get taken to get the story told. 


What is your great story?  What is one action you can take to get it told?  Note: this does not mean you have to write a book.

I am excited to have this opportunity to write, to share, and hopefully inspire millions all around the world. I will keep you updated and share more as the process continues along.  For now, I must bid you adieu for it is time for me to transition over to the book.

Until next time,

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

Lessons from My Dreams Part 2

The reason this post is titled "Lessons from My Dreams Part 2," is because two years ago I wrote a blog with the same name about a dream I had about my Dad.  If you would like to read that blog, click here.

A couple days ago I had another dream that I wanted to share with you all.  I have told myself on numerous occasions that I want to start being more mindful about writing my dreams down.  When I woke up from this dream I quickly typed up notes on it and boy am I glad I did as I feel the meaning of the dream sinks in more now than it did when I was experiencing it.

Have you ever seen the movie "The Never Ending Story?"  If you haven't, I highly encourage you to watch it, it is a fantastic movie.  The reason I ask is because some of the characters and themes that appeared in my dream were from the Never Ending story.

The last few months I have been spending a great deal of time reassessing my values and what my highest values are in life (more to come on this in future blogs/videos).  What I have discovered is that love has always been my highest value, I just never identified it directly (again more to come at a later date). 

I share the above because it sets the backdrop and provides the inspiration, I think, for the dream.

In the dream "The Nothing," (the same Nothing from The Never Ending Story) was coming to consume the world. The Nothing is essentially a void of darkness that consumes everything, especially all light and love.

In my dream I took on Atreyu's role as the hero.  I realized the only way I could save the world and stop The Nothing was by poring as much love as possible into The Nothing.

Even though I was up against The Nothing, a gigantic void of darkness, in my dream The Nothing, like most bad guys and evil things, had an evil layer that it liked to linger and lurk at.  I conveniently knew where this was and was able to drive over to it... again, very convenient. :)

On the drive over, someone who had been consumed by the nothing got in the car.  The person was dark and soulless. he looked like a cross between an evil zombie and an evil ghost.  He tried to get me, but I was able to grab onto the side of his head and focus on pouring my love into him.  This was the first real test of my strength and I was able to free the person, but doing so left me in a weakened state after.  This process repeated as I continued moving towards The Nothing; every time I gave my love to fight The Nothing, I was drained of love available to give.

I had reached a point where I was so drained that I felt like I was not going to be able to continue on when suddenly Falkor ( a half dragon half dog from The Never Ending Story) appears.  (Side note: as a kid Falkor was one of my favorite movie characters.  I used to pretend that one day he would appear and I would jump on his back and together we would fight bad guys and help those who needed help.) Falkor had somehow managed to escape The Nothing.  When he flew up to me I began to cry tears of joy because I realized I no longer had to face The Nothing on my own.  (As I slept I could feel the tears running down my face, the dream was that powerful.)  I jumped onto Falkor's back and off we went to fight The Nothing.

Falkor got me to where I needed to be and I began to make progress in my fight against The Nothing, but as I continued to fight on, I had begun to die.  I was dying because I was rapidly running out of the love I had to pour into the fight and was not getting refueled.  Much more was going out than what was coming in.

At some point during this fight, I am transported to a briefing room, the type of room you see in the movies where all the military people are sitting around making decisions (the best part about dreams is the ability to time travel and be in multiple places at once.)  While in this briefing room I am shown a map of the world and how fast The Nothing is consuming the entire planet (think any Zombie movie where they show the map and how fast the virus is spreading).

Everyone looks to me to decide what to do, but they can all tell I am dying.  That is when a few people stand up and offer to help me fight The Nothing.  When they do this I regain some of my strength, it is like their act of kindness/love refilled me enough so that I had more love to use to fight The Nothing.

I resume my fight with The Nothing and again am making progress.  I can see the top of the hill where The Nothing resides, but the hill is getting steeper and steeper and I again am running low on energy.  The Nothing is to powerful and has to many minions and evil allies. At this point in the dream I am fighting an army of The Nothing's prisoners.  I am running low on energy and slowly begin to die.  I see something in one of the prisoners, I don't know what, but I go to her and pour what little love I have left into her.  As I do this and she changes, she changes back to a human and then into a warrior who begins to fight along side of me.  I free more prisoners and they continue to turn into warriors who help me push on up the hill.

The warriors are able to hold off The Nothing's evil minions long enough for me to make my way to the final battle at the center of The Nothing.  I am in the car driving up the hill (don't ask me how I got back into the car, it is a dream remember) right before I get to the top of the hill, which has now turned into a mountain, I stop the car because I don't have the strength to drive anymore.  I begin to cry, again, feeling defeated, feeling like I am letting the world down.

Suddenly people show up and offer to help.  I recognize some of their faces as people who I freed earlier in the dream.  One picks me up and helps me back in the car, another takes over driving, the 3rd begins to hug me, and then hugs me tighter and tighter.  This person hugs me as tight as they can and tells me, "thank you, I am so grateful that you are fighting this fight to save all of us and give us all a chance at life."

This act of love, their embrace and words, from the unidentified person give  me a new level of strength.  I felt like Link from The Legend of Zelda must have felt every time he got all of his hearts fully recharged.  I actually think that image popped into my head during the dream.  ( See this video for an example ).

Before I go into the final battle I am able to record a speech that eventually gets played around the world.  In this speech I talk about how love is the ultimate power and that if we all, from this day forward, live our lives focusing on loving others and putting our love out into the world, then The Nothing and all other evils have zero chance of ever existing again. (In the dream the speech is very heartfelt and dramatic).

I charge into the battle and then the dream ends with The Nothing being defeated and white light fills up my mind.  I do not know if I survived the battle or not, but I was aware that The Nothing's presence had been eliminated.

I have reread the above a few times now and each time I find a new metaphor or a new interpretation of different elements in the dream and the dream as a whole.

What do you think of my dream?  Are there any particular elements to it that stick out?  What metaphors did you find?

I would love to hear your thoughts.  Please share them in the comments below.  If you found value in this blog, please pass it onto your friends and encourage them to "subscribe" to it.

I am looking forward to hearing what you all think of my dream.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse