The Power of Future Sight

I was speaking with a client a couple days ago. We were in the midst of talking about some of her goals as we had just finished up removing the mental and emotional obstructions to those goals.

I'm in mid tangent (as I sometimes find myself in) when she stops me and asked me arguably the best question I have heard all week:

"Why are people sometimes more committed to talking themselves out of solutions to their problems/challenges than they are committed to finding answers and acting on them?"

Good question, right?

It came up because she is someone who we have spoken about working together a couple times over this year and there was always "something," that kept her from beginning.

"I can't speak for everyone," I told her, "but what I see with most people is that people get so absorbed in their stories about why things are the way they are and how they can't be any different that they are unwilling to allow themselves the gift of future sight."

"What do you mean by future sight?" she asked.

"Future sight is when a person is so committed to making their future brighter: more successful, happy, & fulfilling, than their now, that they are willing to look beyond their problems and create a vision of how life can be."

Unfortunately, Future Sight is not taught in most schools nor is it practiced in most households.

What we get is something drastically different... a "things are as they are," type of an education as to how life will unfold.

Many of us grow up believing things are the way they are and that if we are not naturally smart, confident, courageous, positive, happy, etc... then we can never be those things. Instead, we have to settle for living life with what we have vs creating what we want.

Nothing can be further from the truth.

Walt Disney once said, "If you can dream it you can do it."

Future Sight is your dream. If you limit your dreams you limit what you can experience now and in the future.

If you allow yourself to expand your dreams then the possibility for your future expands too.

You are a born dreamer.

Something to help you get started:

Grab a pen and a piece of paper.

Set a timer on your phone or watch for 5 minutes.

For the next 5 minutes (you can't stop) write down everything you want for your future completely independent of your perceived limitations in the present.

Ex: If you want to be a millionaire, but are in debt right now, write down "Be a millionaire." The exercise is not meant to focus on now, it is meant to allow you to take a gander at a yet to be determined future and give you a glimpse into what's possible.

Once your five minutes are up, pick 3 - 5 of the things that you want to focus on immediately. These can be short-term goals, things you think are more doable, or the ones that emotionally resonate with you the most.

Write them on a separate piece of paper then ask yourself: "Who, What, Where, When, Why,"

"Who do I know that can help me with this?"

Ex: friends, family member, mentor, someone you know or do not know online, a coach, a teacher, etc...

"What do I need to do to begin to accomplish this?"

Ex: Time, an accountability buddy, resources, etc...

"Where do I need to focus my time and energy right now to achieve this?"

Ex: Focus needs to be on finding someone to mentor me through the process.

"When will I accomplish this by?"

Ex: March 29th, 2018

"Why is this important to me?"

Ex: Because I want to be an example to my children about how amazing life can be when you decide that you deserve an amazing life.

Lastly, decide on what your first step forward will be and then the next one after that and take action, Immediately, on that first step.

Ex: Contact the local adult ed program and sign up for the finance class.

You do not need to pay a Miss Cleo type person to see into the future for you were born with the gift of Future Sight.

You can begin to use it right now and make your future as bright as you wish.

It is your destiny!

Any questions at all, please leave them in the comments below.

If you want to share your answers to the above, please do so.

I believe in you.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

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From The Heart

Hi Everyone,

I try to be pretty consistent with my Sunday blogs and if you have been following along you may have noticed I missed last week's blog, here is why:

Last Sunday a very dear friend of my died unexpectedly. She was as full of life as any person I have ever met and her passing has been felt by many.

She touched so many lives and inspired those of us who were privileged enough to know her, how important it is to laugh, to love, and to have fun while you can.

I have taken most of this week to reflect and think about everything in light of this loss.  I recorded a few of them in this video as I wanted to share them with you.

Included are some of my most sincere wishes for you.

I hope this connects with you.






Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge 

Honoring Those You Have Lost

If you live you will lose - as they say two things you can be certain about are death and taxes.

Loss can be one of the most devastating and life altering events you will ever go through. It can rock you to your core and the aftermath of it could derail your life, permanently, if you do not deliberately take steps to get back on track and move forward after your loss.

The challenge of course is "how." How do you do that after you have lost someone you love so deeply.

How?


In the last few years I have lost three very important people in my life: one of my best friends to suicide, my Dad unexpectedly two weeks after being declared cancer free (you can read those stories here) and my best friend to a car crash.

Each of these deaths came with additional life struggles... relationships ending, struggling to "fit in," unmotivated, uninspired, etc...

Through all this, I kept coming back to the question of "how?" How do you move forward after loss?  How do you move forward to not merely exist, but to truly live?  How do you move forward to live a happy and fulfilling life?

Having gone through the challenge of loss myself, as well as with numerous clients from all over the world what I have found to be most effective in doing the above is deciding on a path that honors your loved one and traveling it.

When we allow ourselves to begin to live a life to honor those we have lost, it can give our lives a renewed sense of meaning and purpose.  Two vital ingredients to a fulfilling life.

Recently I shared a video of an event I have hosted for the last three years... it is part of an ongoing mission to live my life in a way that honors my best friend.  Every year, on his birthday, people take a photo of a sunrise and/or sunset and share it on social media.  I take several of the photos and put them together in a video which you can see below.

If you are reading this and you are at a time in your life where you find yourself struggling with loss, I encourage you to look within and ask yourself, "how can I begin to live my life to honor who I have lost?"

Your answer may present the meaning and purpose you seek.

Carpe Diem and with Love,

Jesse

P.S. I also lovingly invite you to check out my "Healing from Loss" program You can learn all about it by clicking here.

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

How to Heal From The Heart Break of Loss

Hi there!

Hope this blog finds you enjoying your day and smiling wherever you are in the world.

I believe a smile is one of the most beautiful expressions we humans have been gifted with.  A smile says so much and each day we are gifted with 24 hours of opportunity to share and express our smiles.

Sadly, so many people do not smile, and for many of them the reason why is because they are handicapped in life by the pain of a loss they endured.

Having struggled through several painful losses of my own, I know, first hand, just how life altering and devastating those losses can be.

Over the years I have had the honor of helping over 4,000 people from all over the world live happier and more fulfilling lives.  Without fail, one of the biggest obstacles I would see people up against, the source of so many of them being "stuck" in life, was loss.

Loss is an inevitable part of life and while we cannot technically prevent that from happening, what we can do is prevent so many beautiful people from suffering so unnecessarily from the ongoing pain of loss.

Recently I hosted a talk on "How to Heal From The Heart Break of Loss," I felt it may be of value to you so here it is.

This talk is intended for those of you who have lost, or know someone who has lost and is struggling with their loss and you want to help them.

My hope is that this video helps you heal and move forward in life.

If you connected with it and would like to take the next step by taking "Healing From Loss," you can sign up here.

It would be my honor to help you Heal From Your Loss.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com/healing-from-loss/

Your Time is a Gift

I have been thinking a great deal about "time" the last few weeks.  I find it amazing that so many of us, myself included, repeatedly squander this most precious of resources.

It is one of the great ironies of our existence - when we are alive we always seem to be in a hurry; always wanting the time to pass.  We future pace ourselves so we can get to the next item on our agenda, the next vacation, the next day off from work, the next big event, and so on.

Yet when we are at the end of our lives we inevitably wish we had more time.  Why?

If only we could adopt that end of life perspective now, in the present, so that we can truly treasure each moment for the gift that it is.

How much would that perspective shift change our lives?

I once gave a speech for a Toastmasters competition.  My speech was on time.  The below is a recording of one of my practice sessions.  I share this video with you in hopes that the message contained within connects with you and inspires you to make the most of your time.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

P.S.

If after watching this video you find yourself with wanting to make better use of your time and eliminate some of the things that are holding you back in life, you and I must talk!

  Click here to schedule a time to meet with me.

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My Dad was Not the Best Dad, Which Made him The Best Dad for Me.

A few days ago it was, what would have been, my Dad's 65th birthday.  Sadly he is no longer physically present to celebrate it as my Dad died very suddenly on February 1st 2010.

The irony, (if you can have irony in death,) was that just two weeks prior to my Dad's passing, he was told by his doctor that he was officially a cancer survivor.

After an over two year battle with colon cancer, my Dad had beat it and was told by his doctor that he was in full remission and had has entire life ahead to look forward to.

My Dad had won a hard fought battle and for his efforts his rewarded with the promise of time.

Time to do all the things he had always wanted to do.

Time to make his priorities a priority.

Time to say I love you more.

Time to forgive and let go of past pain.

Time to travel and see the world.

Time to laugh with friends and connect with family.

Time to live life with a renewed appreciation after having been so close to death.

My Dad was promised, and given, time.... two weeks of it.

Not what he, I, or anyone else assumed, but that is what happened.

On his birthday I took a few moments to reflect on my Dad and what his death has meant to my life, as well as what his legacy is to me.

I recorded these thoughts so I could share them with You.

When I initially shared the video last week on Facebook I got an email from someone asking me "How can you open up and share the way you do."

It is certainly not easy to do so and there are a lot of emotions that come up during the process of sharing.  I do share because with all my heart, I believe what I have experienced and what I have learned from those experiences is meant to be shared.  I feel it would be wrong of me to keep what I have to offer and the insights I have gained locked away - hidden from others.

It is my deepest hope that you are able to find value in what I share and perhaps my words are able to help some of you who are dealing with a significant loss of your own.

Enjoy the pics (they are all of my Dad and I),

Carpe Diem,

Jesse
http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

 

Moving Forward

It is funny… in a blog that I have titled "Moving Forward," I have found myself stuck the last few days on what to say here.  Even as my fingers move around on the keyboard, I am still not sure what is going to come out.

I have had moments of insight the last few weeks, profound, (or at least what I believe are profound,) thoughts that I want to share with you all.  I have taken notes as they come up so I do not forget them, but then there is the whole "how do I introduce this," dialogue that I have with myself.

Do I just lay it out in bullet points?

• profound thought A
• profound thought B
• etc…

Eh, that doesn't really have the effect does it or seem that profound?

Death is an interesting process.  I use the word interesting because I find it interesting how one event, someone's passing, can create a different experience for so many people.

Death brings up more of a variety of thoughts and feelings then probably any other event in our life.  With death comes the full spectrum of our emotional experience.  We have anger and fear at one end and on the other we have joy and love.  In between there are emotions such as sadness, frustration, happiness, guilt, and so on.

Most fields of psychology will say that the grieving/mourning process follows "x" number of steps.  I am not sure I completely agree with it being as clear cut as that.  From a teaching experience there is a need to compartmentalize our thoughts and emotions into steps.  It gives teachers something tangible to pass onto their students.  It also gives those of us going through the process something tangible that we can work with and towards.

However, from an experiential standpoint, as someone who is going through the mourning/grieving process now and has gone through it in the past; I tend to view it more as a vast open field that is filled with hidden "emotion bombs."

These bombs, whenever you step on one of them, cause their respective emotion to explode inside of you.  

Imagine if you will… You have just lost someone you love and you find yourself walking through a vast open field.  You are not really thinking or feeling anything, you are just kind of "numb," and feel an "emptiness."  As you are walking along you step on one of these hidden emotion bombs.  This one happens to be anger, and when you step it, suddenly this angry feeling explodes inside of you and fills up that "emptiness," and takes away the "numbness," you were experiencing just a few minutes before.

As you travel through the field the anger stays with you.  It may have caused you to run now instead of walk.  It may have removed the caution with which you were moving forward because you are now blinded by the anger inside of you.  This continues until you step on the next emotion bomb.  This one happens to be sadness.  When you step on sadness it explodes inside of you.  This new explosion is so powerful that it is able to push the previous explosion (anger) out of you and now you are able to fully experience sadness.

The process repeats itself over and over again.  You keep traveling through the field and you keep stepping on different emotion bombs.  Anger, sadness, happiness, joy, fear, frustration, excitement, etc… they all show up at some point.

This is the best way I can describe how I have felt the last few weeks.  Like I am going through the field, stepping on different bombs from time to time.  What sets off one bomb may be clear, what sets off another one may be a mystery, but none the less, the bombs go off and the feelings are there.

I understand that it is important to allow myself to acknowledge and feel those feelings.  Some of which I may not necessarily want to, but I need to because it is all part of my process.

The field has no end to it because the field is ones' journey through life.  What can end is the presence of the "emotion bombs." They will gradually dissipate and eventually disappear completely as you go through the mourning/grieving process and as you allow yourself to heal.

Allowing yourself to heal… 

I believe that one of the greatest tragedies to ever befall humans is the tragedy that we choose to hold onto so much of the hurt, the loss, the let down, the failures, that we prevent ourselves from ever fully healing.  Thus robbing ourselves of being able to experience those feelings of happiness, joy, pleasure, elation, etc… at a higher level and more consistently.

We experience tragedy in life, we get hurt, we experience pain, and then we never move past it, instead we choose to hold onto it.  The hurt and loss becomes our new reality and we humans have sadly become experts at forming an identity around hurt and loss.

Why do we do this, why?  

I have a theory, but that is for another time and place; another blog.

As previously mentioned, I do have some thoughts/insights that have come to mind the last few weeks, as I have tip toed my way through the "emotion bomb" field, that I would like to share with you all:

I am going to go for the bullet point approach here :)

• What will it take to get people to a place that they celebrate life with the same intensity that they mourn death?
• It is so important to say and do what's most important while you have the breath to do so.
• I have felt sad a lot the last few weeks.  A lot of times people think of sad as a negative feeling, but in situations such as this, I disagree.  I believe sadness is an important emotion to allow yourself to feel in times of loss.  I believe sadness is the yin to the yang of love.  Thus sadness is a way of reminding you the depth of love you felt for the person you lost.
• Sadness continued:  Just because you feel sadness does not mean you have to become sadness or let it control your life.
• How you choose to live your life after you have lost someone is ultimately how you choose to honor that person.
• Whenever you experience loss you have a choice: choose to let the loss define you or choose to define the loss.

As I continue to move forward I have thought a lot about how challenging life can be at times.  It has been my experience that every challenge I have faced, every tragedy I have endured, has ultimately made me stronger and more capable of fulfilling my purpose on this Earth.  I believe the present one will prove the same.

For now, I will leave you with a phrase I have been thinking about quite a bit over the last few weeks.  These words of wisdom come from one of the great thinkers and philosophers of modern time… Rocky Balboa (aka Sylvester Stallone). 

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward."

I guess what he is saying, is that we have a choice… :)

Enjoy the pics,

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://jessebrisendine.com/healing-from-loss/