Choose Your Words

Words...

They give structure to our reality and they can break it apart

They melt hearts and they can break them

They sing praises and they can inflict pain

They build you up and they can tear you down

How much thought do you put into the words you use?

Before you speak, do you consider the affect your words will have on your life, on the lives of others?

A few weeks ago, I can across the short story below - it is an excellent example of the power of words.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. 

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said "I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you."

"Of course I can," said the father.

It's not always anger, it is your actions in general. There are no "fresh starts" in life. There is no new beginning. Forgiveness comes easy for many people but the scars of the past, they never go away. Watch what you do today, because sometimes the price isn't worth the reward.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Six Years Later...

My Dad died on Monday February 1st, 2010.

I had the good fortune to speak with my Dad on Sunday January 31st, 2010.

I say good fortune because looking back on that day six years later,  I feel like I won the lottery having had the opportunity to speak with him just one day before his passing.

My Dad and I did not talk regularly - I held onto childhood baggage that I allowed to keep me at a distance.  Our relationship was alright, which I recognize is much better than the relationships many kids have with their parents.

I am grateful for much of my time I had with him and I regret some of the opportunities I wasted.

Looking back I can recognize and appreciate both my Dad and I did the best with what we knew.  The last couple years our relationship had started to grow because we both had chosen to begin to grow as people.

I have shared quite a bit about my Dad in various other blogs and videos.  I do not want to make this post as much about the past as I want to make it about the present.

I know with 100% certainty that my Dad loved me and in the end that is what is most important.

As I type this I find myself reflecting on some of the most significant life lessons I have learned since my Dad's death.


1 - Say I love you when you get the chance:

Had I known my Dad was going to die I would have said I love you over and over until my voice stopped working.  There were 1000's of day to day opportunities I let pass me by because I always assumed there would be another chance.  Imagine the chance you have right now is your only chance... let people know that you love them as if this is your only chance to tell them

2 - Give your parents a chance... let them be proud of you.  Your baggage isn't worth depriving yourself of love

Only reason I spoke with my Dad on January 31st 2010 was because I had been in Haiti early that month helping out with the earthquake recovery efforts.  My Dad was so excited and proud of me that he had emailed me that week a very thoughtful note telling me so.  I realized I hadn't gotten back to him so I decided to call.

There were countless times over the years I did not allow my Dad to be my Dad, to love me, to be proud of me.  I had my walls up, I justified every ounce of emotional baggage I held onto... you know the drill.

The irony of it was I would always circle back to choosing to feel like my Dad didn't care, didn't love me, or wasn't proud of me, I was resentful because he didn't "love me" the way I wanted him to, or at the times I wanted him to.  So because he wasn't doing it "MY WAY" I deprived both myself and him of experiencing a closer connection.

3 - Make the effort

I can appreciate wanting others to put forth the effort or not wanting to be the one "Always" having to make the effort.  I have been there and I have done that.

Trust me when I say this: when the people you care about die, you will wish you had made the effort.

4 - Tomorrow isn't promised

A phrase said so many times it often sounds cliche, but it is so true.  Today millions of people did not wake up who went to sleep last night planning to wake up.  At this very moment, people are being killed, dying of diseases, meeting their end because of a tragic accident.

All we are guaranteed is right now.  Please treat this moment as the gift that it is.  Ask yourself, "If this moment was my last, what would make it meaningful?"  Whatever your answer is, please do that.

5 - Forgive

Forgiveness is a biological gift we have all been given.  Tragically so many of us choose to never unwrap it.  Your life will only improve, the meaning of your life will only deepen, the love you experience will only grow when you forgive.

6 - Choose Love

No one ever said it would be easy and in a world where "being right," and someone else "being wrong" is sadly often valued in the moment more than love; love can be a challenge.

Send love towards others and most importantly choose to love yourself.  You are the one 24-7 relationship you will always have.

Nurture you, love you, and then love yourself some more.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com

http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

You Come from Love

Hey there!

If you have been a part of my journey for any amount of time, you have likely heard me speak on love and the power of it.

I find love to be absolutely fascinating. There is nothing else like it on our planet.


We crave it.
We fear it.
We want it.
We hide from it.
We seek it.
We reject it.
We love to love it.
We hate to miss it.
We confuse it.
We mis-communicate it.
We give it.
We receive it.
We share it.
We spend it.
We use it.
We abuse it.
We fight over it.
We go to war because of it.
We make peace because of it.
We change our lives for it.
We create lives with it.
We treasure it.
We are born into it.

All this and so much more


Further I believe Love is the first language we communicate with.  In fact I believe that love is our one true language.  It is a universal language that is shared by all living things. 

Tragically we can all to easily allow ourselves to be influenced and pushed away from it.

If we only make more of an effort to reconnect with what we have always known, imagine what type of place your world would be?

Recently I stumbled across one of the most beautiful videos I have ever seen.  The caption on the video had said this:

"This incredible video shows two newborn twins who still think they’re in their mother’s womb.
Using a new bathing approach called ‘The Baby Spa’, nurse Sonia Rochel gently eases the babies into their new surroundings with warm water and calming music."

As I watched this video I had goosebumps. I smiled and cried witnessing such a pure form of love on display.

As you watch I encourage you to ask yourself:

"What can I do today to focus on love?"

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Growing Patience and Making Decisions

Hi,

Without fail, two areas I consistently see people struggle in are: Decision Making and Exercising Patience.

At first I was hesitant to record a video addressing decision making and patience at the same time because sometimes excuses about being "patient" are used to justify indecision.

The reality is indecision is almost never due to being patient and collecting more info, indecision is most often born from a fear to act.

A lack of patience can be costly - think of how much time you lose to stress and anxiety... getting worked up over things you cannot control, like traffic, simply because you do not have the patience to negotiate the situation.

If you exercised patience, perhaps your experience would be a little different.

I hope you find value in this short video.  In it I share some strategies I use for exercising a greater level of patience and making decisions.

Looking forward to reading your comment.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

The Holiday Season - Reflecting and Planning for the Future

I don't know about you, but for me the holiday season is a time of reflection and planning.

Reflecting on the year I have lived, and planning for the year to come.

I hope you don't mind, I want to share some of the questions I ask myself to help me prepare for the year ahead.

If you feel like sharing your answers, I would love to read them in the comments below.

I hope you find value in this. :)

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

In 2016...


1 - What do I want to accomplish?
2 - Why do I want to accomplish this?
3 - What can hold me back from achieving this goal?
4 - What can I do now to address #3?
5 - How will accomplishing this impact my life?
6 - Is the accomplishing of this in alignment with my higher values?

I challenge you to ask yourself the above questions and dig deep, especially when you get to question #3.  That is the one that derails most people because they will often settle for an answer like "lack of time, or lack of money."  

If it is something you really want to accomplish, I promise you that if you fully commit to doing it, you will be able to find the time, and figure out the money part along the way.

P.S.

I have a weekly segment I post on the 1 Year 1000 Challenge Facebook page where I answer questions asked by the 1000 Challenge Community members.  Would it be helpful to you if I started posting those answers, along with other videos I do here, in this blog?

Reflecting, Remembering, and Honoring

Today was a day of great forward progress coupled with deep reflection.

It is the reflection I find myself most fascinated by today.

I started to write, but my fingers did not seem able to produce the words I wanted them to, so I opted for a video today.

A V-log (that's the technical term right?)!

As you finish watching the video, please ask yourself:

"How can I live a life that will make the Heavens smile?"  "What can I do today to honor someone who I love?"

Looking forward to reading your comments.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge

Making Dreams Come True

We all have dreams.

Tragically, not enough of us make those dreams come true.

The reasons "why" are many: "I don't know how," "it's impossible," "it's to hard," "I don't have enough money," "if only," etc... Do any of these sound familiar?

Over the course of its' four year life, this blog has been about a lot... dreams, goals, life, death, love, and the ongoing journey of living and experiencing life to the best of my ability.

I try to be open and share with you all in hopes that my candor may inspire you in how you choose to live your life.  In no way am I suggesting your life should look exactly like mine, what I am saying is that perhaps you can gain inspiration for your journey as you share in mine.

Recently my journey brought me to a day that I had dreamed of for years.  My first ever Jesse Brisendine live event!

Up to this point I had spoken to numerous audiences and organizations, been a featured presenter at corporate training's, and gifted with the opportunity to educate and inspire students at several High Schools and Universities.  This all was, and continues to be amazing (something I want to keep building on), however I had never hosted my own event.

Something that was uniquely mine in everything from the content, to the music, to the location, and most importantly the jokes (haha) all of it was "Jesse."

This had been a dream because I want to help people, a lot of people, live extraordinary and fulfilling lives.  To be able to help as many as I want to, I need a platform that allows me to interact and work with multiple people at once.  Enter Unlock Your Greatness - a program conceived by the idea to bring people together from all over the world to learn, to grow, to let go, and to move forward.

Last week (I cannot believe it has been a week already) I hosted the first ever Unlock Your Greatness (UYG) live event in Santa Barbara, California.

It was attended by folks from seven different countries and 15 different States.  If I had only one word to describe it, I would say WOW.

WOW... because I was proud of what I created, WOW because of the moments I shared with the participants, WOW because of the breakthroughs people had, WOW because of the feeling I had watching the attendees Unlock a Greatness that had always been inside of them, and was waiting to be let out.

I titled this post "Making Dreams Come True," because dreams can come true, but not because you wish them to, dreams come true because you make them come true.

Any great dream deserves a great amount of work and effort that goes into making that dream a reality. Most dreams will require 100's, maybe even 1000's of hours or more of hard work, commitment, sacrifice, and the proverbial "blood, sweat, and tears," to make them come true.

You know what?  I can happily tell you that it is and will be worth it when you realize your dream.

Unlock Your Greatness was the start of a new beginning for me; the next chapter in my professional career and life purpose.  UYG also was the culmination of 1000's of hours of hard work, study, sacrifice, decision making, life lesson learning, forward step taking, choice making, and life living.  All of it came together for two magical days in Santa Barbara, California. 

Below are some photos from the first event.  I hope to see you at a future Unlock Your Greatness, I am excited to share it with you. :)

Lastly, to all the people who made the journey to attend - thank you.  You all believed in me at the beginning.  I will always be grateful for that.

Carpe Diem,

Jesse

P.S. What is one dream you have that you are committed to making come true?

http://www.jessebrisendine.com
http://www.facebook.com/1year1000challenge